Manners According to Quran and Sunnah

[Warrior of Light]

The Importance of Manners

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #271, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban.

 

...Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, SAW, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #286 and Ahmad

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., said, "I heard Abu al Qasim (the Prophet SAW), say, 'The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding.' "

 

Hadith - At-Tabaraanee collected it, and Albani authenticated it in Silsilatul-AHaadeethis-Saheehah (#432).

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, and Tirmidhi

 

... 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr said, "The Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was never obscene or coarse. Rather, he used to tell us that the best among us were those with the best manners."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmad

 

... Anas said, "I served the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as 'Oof' if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, 'Why did you not do it?,' and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, 'Why did you do it?' "

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud

 

... Abu Huraira, r.a., said that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 290, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad

 

... Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 296, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Darimi, Abu 'Awanah, Hakim, and Ibn Hibban.

 

... Nawas ibn Sam'an reported that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, was asked about doing good and evil. He replied, "Doing good is having good manners. Doing evil is what troubles you inside and what you would not like others to know about."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #360, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, and Hakim

 

The Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "He who does not show mercy to our young or show esteem for our elders is not one of us."

 

 

 

The sin of finding faults in others

 

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #313, Ahmad, Ibn Hibban, and Hakim

 

... 'Abd Allah reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "A believer is not a fault-finder and is not abusive, obscene, or course."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #329

 

... Ibn 'Abbas said, "If you wish to mention the faults of your friend, mention your own faults first."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #330

 

... Ibn 'Abbas said on the following verse of the Qur'an, "Nor defame one another" (49:11), "Do not spend your time finding fault with one another."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #545

 

Jubayr ibn Nufayr reported that Mu'adh ibn Jabal said, "If you love someone, do not quarrel with him and do not annoy him. Do not ask others about him, for the one you ask might be his enemy and thus tell you things about him that are not true and thus break you apart."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #889 and Ibn Hibban

 

'Amr ibn al 'As said, "...I am amazed at one who spots an impurity in the eye of another but is unable to detect it in his/her own eye, or who attempts to remove a grudge from another's heart while making no attempt to remove grduges from his/her own heart. I have never blamed anyone for the confidences of mine that they have betrayed. How could I, when already they have given me reason for pause?"

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #1295

 

Bilal ibn Sa'd al Ash'ari reported that Mu'awiyah wrote to Abu Darda' "Write to the wrongdoers of Damascus." So he asked, "What do I have to do with the wrongdoers of Damascus? How will I know them?" Abu Darda's son, Bilal said, "I will write to them," which he did. Then Abu Darda' said [to Bilal], "How did you know to whom to write? You could not have known they were wrongdoers unless you were one of them. Begin with yourself!" So he did not address the letter in anyone's name.*

 

*i.e. he didn't single out a specific person as a wrongdoer, but spoke about wrongdoings in general, to come as a reminder (of Quran and Sunnah) to the people.

 

 

 

Group Conversations

 

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah

 

'Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "If they are three, two of them should not carry on a conversation from which the third is excluded, for surely that will be distressing to him."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners, Abu Dawud. Ibn Hibban classified the hadith as authentic.

 

Ibn 'Umar reported the same from the Prophet, upon him be peace. Except that in the end, he added, "We asked, 'If they are four?' He, upon him be peace, said, 'Then there is no harm.' "

 

 

 

Beware of Suspicion

 

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Be careful of suspicion, for it is the most mistaken of all speech. Do not spy on others, compete* among yourselves, envy one another, or despise one another. Rather, be servants of Allah and brothers!"

 

*There is nothing wrong with healthy competition, particularly in doing good deeds. This hadith refers to competion that destroys team play and equality, etc.)

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #1294

 

'Abd Allah said, "Sometimes a victim of robbery will become so suspicious [of everyone around him] that he will become worse than the thief."*

 

*In other words, his suspicions will lead him to doubt everyone until he has destroyed every one of his relationships.

 

It is permissible to call over a person and inform them of the facts, so that they will not be suspicious, as we see in the following hadith (narration).

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #1293, Muslim and Abu Dawud

 

Anas reported that a man passed by while the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was with one of his wives. The Prophet called the man and said, 'O So and so. This is my wife, so and so." The man replied, What I might have thought about another, I would never think about you." The Prophet, upon him be peace, said, "Shaytan [satan] will circulate through a person just like blood circulates [through one's veins]."

 

 

 

Give Gifts

 

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #594, also related by Abu Ya'la and by Nasa'i in al Kuna.

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Give gifts to one another, and you will love one another."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Nasa'i and Tirmidhi

 

Ibn Abi Mas'ud al Badri reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Anyone who spends money on his family and seeks blessings for doing so will find it counted as sadaqah (charity) on his behalf."

 

 

 

Have a sense of shame/shyness

 

(not being shy from doing good, but shyness from doing wrong)

 

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Ahmad

 

Abu Mus'ud reported that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "Among the well-known wisdom of the prophets is the saying, 'If you have no shame, then do as you please.' "

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Nasa'i, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, and Tabarani

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet, saaws, said, "... Having a sense of shame is one branch of faith."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim and Ibn Majah

 

'Abd Allah ibn Abi 'Atabah said that he heard Abu Sa'id say, "The Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was shyer than a virgin in her shift. Whenever he disliked something, we could see it on his face."

 

 

 

The sin of Pride

 

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #550

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Whoever eats with his servant, or rides a donkey in the marketplace, or who ties up his goat and milks it will no be guilty of the sin of pride.

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #556, Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that a handsome man went to the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, and said, "I love beauty, and I have been given what you see, even to the extent of my hating to be bested. Is that pride?" The Prophet replied, "No. Rather, pride is to disdain the truth and to treat others with contempt."

 

 

 

The sin of flattering or praising a person

 

 

(Flattering or praising is not just to say something kind about a person. Praising is to glorify especially by the attribution of perfections. Flattering is to praise excessively especially from motives of self-interest.)

 

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu 'Awanah, and Ibn Hibban.

 

Abu Bakr reported that a man was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet, saaws, and another praised the man. The Prophet, saaws, said, "Woe to you, for you have broken your friend's neck!" The Prophet saaws repeated this several times and then said, "If any of you simply must praise another, let him/her say, 'I think the person is this way or that...' if you genuinely think the person to be that way. The Final Reckoner is Allah, and no one can tell Allah anything about anyone."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #337, Bayhaqi, and similar version by Ibn Majah.

 

Aslam reported that he heard 'Umar say, "Praise is slaughter." One of the narrators added, "That is, if you accept it."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #338, Nasa'i, Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban, and Hakim

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "What a fine man Abu Bakr is. What a fine man 'Umar is. What a fine man Abu 'Ubaydah is. What a fine man Usayd ibn Hudayr is. What a fine man Thabit ibn Hudayr is. What a fine man Mu'adh ibn 'Amr ibn al Jumuh is. What a fine man Mu'adh ibn Jabal is." He said, "What a foul man so and so is. What a foul man is so and so."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari and Muslim

 

'A'ishah reported that a man requested an audience with the Prophet, saaws. The Prophet said, "What a foul tribesman that one is." But when the man entered, the Prophet was cordial and pleasant to him. When the man left, another asked permission to meet with him. The Prophet said, "What a good tribesman that one is." But when he entered, the Prophet was not nearly as cordial with him as he had been with the first. When he left, 'A'ishah asked, "You said what you did about the first man, yet you met him cordially. And you said what you did about the second one, and yet you were reserved with him." The Prophet said, "O 'A'ishah, the worst kind of people are those whose vulgarity must be avoided."

 

Hadith Bukhari's Book of Manners #340, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Abu 'Awanah.

 

"The Prophet of Allah, saaws, ordered us to throw dust in the faces of those who flatter."

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #341 and Ibn Hibban

 

'Ata ibn Abi Rabah reported that when a man praised another in the presence of Ibn 'Umar, Ibn 'Umar began tossing dust in the direction of his face, saying, "The Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, 'If ever you encounter those who flatter, throw dust in their faces.' "

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #762 and Bayhaqi

 

'Adi ibn Artah said, "If ever one of the Companions of the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was praised, he would say, 'O Alolah, do not take me to task for what they say and forgive me for what they do not know about."

 

 

 

Regarding Fraud and Deceit

 

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #420, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Hakim, and Tahawi

 

Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "A believer is frank and decent, whereas a wrongdoer is deceitful and blameworthy."

 

 

 

Praying for Good Manners

 

 

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #308 and Bayhaqi

 

... 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, used very often to pray in the following manner, "O Allah! I ask You for good health, for trust, for self-control, for good manners, and to be satisfied with the divine decree."

[LuCkY]

AsaLaamu ALaikum,

 

SisSade,JZK for that but I did not quite foLLow The Sins of FLattering or Praising a Person.I read the excerpts and even that did not cLarify it.Can you heLp me here?

 

PEace !

[Warrior of Light]

Originally posted by LuCkY STaRR:

AsaLaamu ALaikum,

 

SisSade,JZK for that but I did not quite foLLow The Sins of FLattering or Praising a Person.I read the excerpts and even that did not cLarify it.Can you heLp me here?

 

PEace

!

Waaleykum Salaam wabarakatuh,

 

I will try to,Bi-idhnillah

 

Starting with teh first hadith,

Abu Bakr reported that a man was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet, saaws, and another praised the man. The Prophet, saaws, said, "Woe to you, for you have broken your friend's neck!" The Prophet saaws repeated this several times and then said, "If any of you simply must praise another, let him/her say, 'I think the person is this way or that...' if you genuinely think the person to be that way. The Final Reckoner is Allah, and no one can tell Allah anything about anyone."

 

The message here is that when you praise a fellow it is better to say that you think 'he is a wise person or generous person 'than saying' so and so is wise or generous.' Why ??? Coz you are judging a person And It is only Allah who has the right to judge(Thats the sin) So unknowingly you have broken your brothers neck.

>> The Final Reckoner is Allah.

 

 

The second hadith >> Praise is slaughter if you accept it.

Accepting praise kills the muslims character. As we are entitled to live in this world piously, helping fellow ppl without expecting thanks from anyone. And also praise Allah for all the provisions even if small. So once a person starts accepting praise a small peice in his heart becomes diseased, he becomes proud and may forget his responsiblity thus slowly becomes bigheaded. Riyah (showing off) and other characters follows....

 

So it is refered to be slaughtered . As he has let his neck be cut in a submissive way due to accepting praise and letting pride creep into his heart unawarely.

 

 

About the third Hadith

 

The prophet SAW is teaching us to call a spade a spade. We need to be truthful in praising others.

That is why others were called fine men others foul. The sin is adding a pinch of salt on reporting their characters.

 

The fourth hadith reported by Bi Aiysha

 

The lesson taught is to treat well ppl especially those with vulgar characters as they have a tendency of praising or flattering more people.They will start to compare people ... So if you may make a small mistake or pay not audience to their needs they will spread fitnah -conflicting around. So this people with such a behaviour need to be avoided and the best way is to be polite and cordial to them.

 

Regarding hadith 340 and 341

The Prophet of Allah, saaws, ordered us to throw dust in the faces of those who flatter."

 

A person who flatters praises a person so much so that he can gain something from them. So to stop this habit as to repproach them dust- dirt was thrown in their faces to show them that they were the lowest people in character. Naturally anyone will feel very ashamed to fall under such a state.

 

 

The last hadith is but a Dua

 

As when a person tends to praise they add a word or two then another so much that the truth maybe hidden. That is why Our holy Prophet asked for forgivess from man. As we know our Christian and Jew brothers started to praise Nabii Isaa in such a way that they made him God astaghfirullah.

 

I hope it has been of help but you can ask more . And if there is any other nomad who would like to answer please feel free. We all searching for salvation and enlightment for our souls..

[LuCkY]

AsaLaamu ALaikum,

 

SisSade JZK you have been a great heLp.The thing is that I understand what they were saying but I didnt understand what they meant.For exampLe, the one about fLattering or praising a person I didnt know that can be a sin-I usuaLLy figured it was a good thing acknowLeding a person's achievement but now I get it-fuLLy-!

 

Once again JZK for your heLp.

 

PEace !

[Warrior of Light]

Lucky star

 

Thank you