Want to Marry 2 Wives

[- Femme -]

But for those of us in the west and who have the opportunity to gain an education, I don’t need financial security from a man, therefore inshallah I will not stay for food and shelter.

If your in the west, education is not the only thing available to fall back on if your in an unhappy relationship and want to leave. You can always take welfare...or just move in with mum and dad*. Not that I'm adovocating divorce. But there is no reason to stay with someone whose betrayed you. Birina gurigu buu kaa tuura. Ladies, just make sure not to choose a loser the first time around. Save yourselves the doubts and headaches later. You have the choice. Exercise it. Don't whine and moan later, its a little too late most of the time.

 

 

* I am not responsible for any divorces that occured due to my comments.

 

 

Rahima,

 

I wonder how he took it. I would think most guys would be offended and leave in a huff. Laakin...hadii xanaaqaan ma darkoodii ka badnaanayaan?

[Legend of Zu]

Rahima,

 

Were you at last weekend's lecture in preston ... Sheikh issa was talking about the vitality of Women knowing their rights and how they can add a clause that allows them to get divorced into their marraige contract if the husband breaches certain conditions such as embracing polygamy..

 

Cheers

[Muhammad]

one thing that we all agree with is sister's have their Allah-Given rights.

 

and one of those rights is that the sister's should have the ability to support themselves(and children), if anything happens, Divorce, Death, iwm.

 

Often I can see they are after the overly subservient ignorant Muslimah who when told she lacks imaan because she does not want such a marriage for herself goes off to seek repentance like she said something wrong.

but, walaal, huuno, abaayo, this is too much to swallow. why must the sister that is ok with polygamy be either ignorent of her rights, or unable to fend for herself?

 

or will every sister, given she knows her rights and independent from the husband 'financially', choose against it?

 

this is just a classical example of how one bad apple(or baruur in somali tradition) can ruin the whole, and the sad thing is those men who abuse polygamy, most of them have little or no knowledge of the Diin. :confused:

 

Ragoow Take Note;

 

Headline from 2200,

 

Bishaaro Bishaaro Bishaaro

Ku soo Dhowaada Arooska;

RAXIIMA oo Guursanaysa faarah :eek:

 

peace

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Muhammad Howell - Niinka Cadaan:

quote:Originally posted by NGONGE:

^^^ That’s good of you and I appreciate it. I also believe you to be sincere in what you write. But it is still wrong. Keep doing it and I’ll keep talking about fake-mullahs (can’t expect you to forgive me every time).

 

PS

You being an ajnabi means nothing to me. I’m arguing with you because you’re a Muslim who I think understands the faith and applies it the wrong way (on here at least).

How am I applying it the wrong way, and be specific. If you can bring authentic proof that would also be beneficial.

Let us start again. First of all, welcome to the site.

 

Saaxib, I don’t wish to patronise you and I hope you will still be in a forgiving mood as you read these words of mine. I feel that I’ll have to state the obvious before stating why I opposed that post of yours.

 

As you can see, I have not participated in this topic other than to tell the original poster that he’s being irresponsible for thinking about marrying a second wife when he has not (yet) married the first. That was all I could contribute to his mischievous enquiry (and even then, it was really for the gallery and not for him).

 

I kept on reading most of the other contributions (as I usually do with almost all threads on this site). Many were moot, trivial or old recycled nonsense. Still, that is what you get in discussion forums and I’d be mad to expect everyone to miraculously hone their arguments or improve on them. Even I, arrogant and haughty as I invariably am, occasionally talk such twaddle.

 

I carried on sifting through the replies until I came across your one. It was a fatwa talking about mockery of Islam and had no accompanying text, disclaimers or explanations by you. It was not even a mild fatwa.

 

You subsequently argued that the fatwa was put there for a reason and that people should phone you to find out what the reason was! This, weather you realise it or not, gives the impression of secrecy, weakness of argument and one having something to conceal. Lest you think I am questioning your intentions, I don’t. I really, really, really believe that your intentions are good. However, that does not mean I think your methods are right.

 

This is a discussion forum. Your messages (if the admin does not delete them) will stay here for the foreseeable future. If one reads them in four months time, one needs to understand what you meant when you posted that fatwa. YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS PLAY TO THE GALLARY (more so when you decide to preach).

 

Now, had I not hounded you in such a way and questioned your post, how would we know that you meant it in a general way (which I’ll come back to in a minute) and that you didn’t have specific individuals in mind? How will a passing Nomad know that women (whom this topic is about) were not your targets?

 

I’ve come across other Nomads posting verses and ahadeeth and arguing that they were done ‘in a general way’ and with no specific person in mind. Why a general way though? And even then, why not write a few words telling us the same message without using the Quran that might be misinterpreted or misunderstood. Worse still, someone might go away from this thread and go on in life believing that women who refuse to be second wives are mocking Islam and, therefore, are a bunch of disbelievers. Far fetched? It’s an assumption, saaxib. In the same way that when someone posts random verses assumes that all his/her readers understand it.

 

I am not asking you not to use verses of the Quran or ahadeeth in your posts. I am asking you to think long and hard about the way they will be received, understood and interpreted. Contemplate the impact they’ll have and weigh the benefits. After you’ve done all of that, I expect you to at least give a short hint, comment or explanation as to your reasons for posting such a verse, hadeeth or fatwa. Don’t assume that those reading your work know what you’re trying to say. SAY IT.

 

I can call you a beard-stroker, false mullah, hijab-adjuster and a number of other names for months to come. After a while, you’ll get so used to it that you’ll learn to ignore me and my words will make no difference to you (they probably don’t now). If you and others keep posting random verses, ahadeeth and fatwas with no explanation whatsoever, after a while, people will get so used to them that they’ll learn to ignore them too (many already do I bet). How many would also ignore a good Islamic topic started by you because you’ve developed a reputation for being a random verse-shooter?

 

 

The above was specific to the case of your post, which I disputed. However, I would also like to make it general (as if I wasn’t playing to the gallery all along) and ask all those that post similar fatwas (random, uncalled for and comment-less fatwas) to stop and think a little before they do so.

 

PS

I probably failed again, but the effort of trying to suppress the sarcasm, condescension and patronising putdowns was immense. I am not sure if I could survive another ordeal.

[sheherazade]

Thank you. And u know why- I'm up to here with stating the obvious.

[S.O.S]

In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Gracious,

Assalaamu Calaykum.

 

Brother Muhammad Howell - Niinka Cadaan, welcome in the forum.

 

Sister Kashafa, did you see it too? I thought that I was the only who could see through his cards.

 

WCWW

[Rahima]

but, walaal, huuno, abaayo, this is too much to swallow. why must the sister that is ok with polygamy be either ignorent of her rights, or unable to fend for herself?

Muhammad, that is not what I wrote. Allow me to quote myself. I wrote:

 

Often I can see they are after the overly subservient ignorant Muslimah who when told she lacks imaan because she does not want such a marriage for herself goes off to seek repentance like she said something wrong.

The clause is obvious; it is that a Muslimah who believes that she is in the wrong for not wanting this or believes that to have such a view means that she is lacking in iman is ignorant of her rights. There is a difference between this and what you understood from it.

 

Please read carefully. I did not write as you say. Inshallah it will make sense now.

 

And why the shock, is it that humorous?

 

Not to mention your playing with the Somali was very well noted dear . Jest as you wish ina adeer but I will not recant any of that which I have said so that RAXIIMA oo Guursanaysa faarah becomes Raxiima waxaa guursanaya farah nor will I recant so that some may think I am espousing a sense of feminity.

 

La Femme

 

No offence, he claimed that he didn’t want it and I told him it would be in my contract. It was simple really .

 

Legend,

 

Unfortunately no, but I heard it was very good mashallah. Waleed was wonderful but according to some he was a bit over the top for the audience.

[Maxamed Caday]

Originally posted by Rahima:

A few of the brothers here (and I can quote) in an attempt to justify their thoughts/opinions are belittling the rights of women.

The Prophet sulallahu alayhi wa salam never belittled the rights of women, but instead established them, upheld them, and set the example for us to follow. If we all spent a little more time and put a little more effort into knowing his Sunnah sulallahu alayhi wa salam, women's rights wouldn't be an issue among muslims. Wouldn't you agree?

[Rahima]

^Couldn't agree more and it would be just wonderful if the brothers would realise it.

 

And i think that your indirect advice to the men is also wonderful .

 

You hear that boys, learn your religion.

[Naasir]

***Let us discuss, with out creating hostility***

 

Hello My Brothers and Sisters

It seems like things are getting out of hand.

I know I have asked for advise and I got many wonderful responses from a lot of people or should I say I got more than I bargained for, Truly Appreciate, however some of us are taking to another level and things are turning to not so friendly. Let is remember, We are here to discuss and exchange ideas, If I don't like your idea or don't think it is true, I have to accept with grace and move on. However If I elect to respond I owe you respectful respond. Remember Each one of us is smart on his own world and can contribute to a lot of things that the other person may not. (Remember Allah made us different from each other, All of us don't think the same way or see things the same way, But we may come to the same conclusion despite taking different way.

Like we (Somali) say "Ood qaadis ama jiidis waa isla guri geyn".

 

Allah Knows the right way. My Allah Guide us to the right way.

 

 

***Peace and unity on the my motherland is on my mind***

[Maxamed Caday]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

I probably failed again, but the effort of trying to suppress the sarcasm, condescension and patronising putdowns was immense. I am not sure if I could survive another ordeal.

Hah. Now that's funny. No problem brother. So we have a mutual understanding. I will continue to spout random ahadeeth and ayat, and you will continue to remind me that I am a hijab-adjusting hollow beard stroker, and there will be no ill feelings between us.

[NGONGE]

^^^ No. I will not reprimand you anymore. I think my message was loud and very CLEAR. I shall turn my attention to the next person that does what you do. Make sure you keep an eye on our discussions.

 

PS

I would not dream of calling you a hijab-adjuster, you’re too earnest for such a thing. Now, Johnny B on the other hand...

[Maxamed Caday]

Raxiima, here is where the misunderstanding took place.

 

Originally posted by Rahima:

Amazing. Where in my post have I stated that I disliked that Allah sanctioned it as permissible? Please do quote me for I’m pretty sure I made myself very clear. This is offensive wouldn’t you say?

I wasn't implying that YOU made a statement of dislike for the Legislation of Allaah subhana wa ta'ala. I recognize clearly that you would personally dislike the situation of being in a polygynous marriage, which actually falls in harmony with what comes to us from the Sunnah. The wives of the Prophet sulallaahu alayhi wa salam also did not like to be put into this situation either, and became jealous of one another, so much so in fact that he sulallaahu alayhi wa salam left all of them for a month because of the fitnah that erupted, he sulallahu alayhi wa salam refused to see them until they stopped fighting, which they eventually did, and never gave him any grief thereafter.

 

It is understood that women often dislike this situation, however, whatever Allah has legislated has xikmah behind it, and if they are patient upon their religion, they are able to bear it, much good can come out of it, such as increased chastity, more children, stronger family and tribal ties, etc, etc.. This is all assuming that people understand and correctly apply the principals of their deen.. Ultimately, Allah's wisdom for legislation of polygyny is beyond the scope of our limited intelligence, but we should not rush to throw it away if we do not like it or if we disagree with it.

 

Alternatively, the woman could seek a khula if she thinks she is not able to bear it. Khula, however is granted at the discretion of men, so the best decision would be reached by those men who have spent their life studying Islam and the Sunnah in earnest. Do we not agree? Marriage stipulations restricting the male from polygyny is invariably in dispute among the scholars, and few males would willingly sign away their God-given right anyway I think. I know I wouldn't. Actually the first question I asked my wife when I interviewed her for marriage was: Do you have a problem with polygyny? She promptly lied to me and stated she didn't - let me rephrase that - she changed her mind immediately after we were married. check. checkmate..

 

If the people are jahileen, then all kinds of bad situations will arise in their marriages, polygynous or not.

 

So remember: Allah never tests us with more than we are capable of handling. He subxana wa tacala is ar-Raxmaan ar-Raxiim

[Maxamed Caday]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

^^^ No. I will not reprimand you anymore. I think my message was loud and very

CLEAR

. I shall turn my attention to the next person that does what you do. Make sure you keep an eye on our discussions.

Now I'm going to feel neglected, Ngonge ;p

[Nur]

Rahima sis

 

You write:

 

".... but on this one Nur no one can ever convince me otherwise. I’ve come to this conclusion from experience very close to home

 

Walaalo, Experience is as good if the future is as predictable as the past. e-Nuri thinks that you are not showing patience when speaking for your own choice, because patience comes with wisdom, wisdom in turn comes with time, as we grow, we outgrow many concepts we held to be solid, looking back at our past, we can envy what we could have done differently only if we knew what we know today, its wise never to close windows of possibilities, as long as they are halaal, lest one day we find our selves in favor of it. Again, walaalo, e-Nuri thinks if the right guy from Al Lowxul Maxfuuz comes along, it would not be your decision to accept , you will be hypnotized, next thing we know, Rahima transformed, is now an advocate and advisor for the dreaded institution, well who can better defend such an institution then someone who wouldnt consider it. I am saving this for the record, inshAllah will check it again in 2015.

 

 

Nur