Want to Marry 2 Wives

[Xoogsade]

As a man, it seems great to have more than one woman, any man who says he doesn't entertain more women at his disposal might be lying or being politically correct, however, as an individual, I find it difficult to envision myself maintaining more than one. If I can get one to do my bidding and everything I want, most of all Baarinimo and attentive ears to my advice, it will be enough. I will just have to find ways to manage my manly ego and train my eyes only on the one. I tell ya, it is difficult task to not like every woman lol.

[Rahima]

So basically our 'advice' matters more to you than your 'future' wife's opinions and concerns?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

Naasir bro, I would advice you to go for it mashallah, Polygamy is a great Nicmaa from Allah.

and brother there are many beautiful, pious sisters who dont mind polygamy, i would advice you to move on if thats not for her.

So a sister is not pious if she is not happy with her husband marrying a second wife?

 

Aside from it being polygyny, Islam has given me the right and I don’t have to like it. I accept that it is xalaal but I don’t have to be part of such a marriage. I know that and so do you so please don’t scrutinize the piety of sisters based on what is her right. Likewise don’t throw around such advise so freely brother. Emotions are involved here so everything is not black and white. What is good for the goose is not necessarily always good for the gander.

 

One Sheikh said that if you make a contract agreement (either verbal or written) with your wife that you won’t marry another wife with her, it’s obligatory to keep such contract. The other Sheikh disagreed. He said such contract would violate the very basics of Islam. He cited a hadith that state any contract that’s contrary the Kitab of Allah is Baadil.

I too once attended a dowrah run by students of knowledge from Madinah University, where this question was asked. The answer was that a woman could make such a stipulation for the reason that she is not objecting to something which is compulsory rather is a choice. They explained that to do so would not be objecting to the actual allowance of the act just that you did not wish it for yourself. People have personal preferences, such as the prophet not liking to eat lizards even though it is xalaal. The reasoning and proofs were strong.

 

At the end of the day though I don’t know why anyone would want to make such a stipulation. I’d rather make it that if in the event he did so I have a right to have my asking for divorce accepted. For him to then marry a second wife would give me the option of leaving the marriage (which obviously I’d be at that stage more than happy to leave). I would never want to keep someone from something they want and in turn be in an unhappy marriage.

[xiinfaniin]

I like his rational for not to marry the second wife but only if he could resist the temptation.

ولكن الزواج له شـروطÙÙŒ

وعدل٠الزوج مشروطٌٌ أساسي

وإن معاشـر النسوان بحرٌ

عظيم الموج٠ليس له مراسي

ويكÙÙŠ ما حملت٠من المعاصي

وآثـام تنـوء بها الرواسـي

 

But when naiveté apprehends sagacity, it has a mortifying consequence indeed.

 

وكم كنت٠الضحية ÙÙŠ مرارÙ

وأجزم بانعدامي و انطماسي

Ùإحداهن شدَّت شعر رأسي

وأخراهن تسحب من أساسي

وإن عثÙر اللسان بذكر٠هذي

لهذي شبَّ مثل الالتـماسÙ

وتبصرني إذا ما احتجت٠أمراً

من الأخرى يكون بالإختلاسÙ

وكم من ليلة٠أمسي حزيناً

أنام٠على السـطوح٠بلا لباسÙ

وكنت٠أنام Ù…Ùـحترماً عزيزاً

Ùصرت٠أنام ما بين البÙساسÙ

Ø£ÙرَضّÙع٠نامس الـجيران دَمّÙÙŠ

وأÙسقي كلَّ برغوث بكاسي

ويومٌ أدَّعي أنّÙÙŠ مريضٌ

مصابٌ بالزكام٠وبالعÙطـاسÙ

وإن لم تنÙع الأعذار شـيئاً

لجئت٠إلى التثاؤب والنعـاسÙ

وإن Ùَرَّطْتّ٠ÙÙŠ التحضير يوماً

عن الوقت المحدد يا تعاسي

وإن لم أرض٠إحداهنَّ ليلاً

Ùيا ويلي ويا سود المآسي

يطير النوم من عيني وأصحو

لقعـقعة٠النـواÙØ° والكراسي

يجيء الأكل لا ملح ٌ عليه

ولا Ø£Ùسقى ولا ÙŠÙكوى لباسي

وإن غلط العيال تعيث حذÙاً

بأحذية٠تـمّÙـر٠بقرب رأسي

وتصرخ ما اشتريت لي احتـياجي

 

 

 

P.S: I liked the literary agility of the poem.

[Nur]

Rahima sis

 

Speaking about the dreaded polygamy, you write:

 

I accept that it is xalaal but I don’t have to be part of such a marriage

 

 

I agree wholeheartedly walaal, you have a choice of the type of relationship you want to be a part of, just like food, you eat what you want.

 

My question to you is, let us say a brother is dying to marry you, he is very impressed with your mental judgements, views, outlook in life and character, he happens to be happily married with children and he managed to get an unconditional approval and blessing from his first wife who is well known for piety and great character, his record as a husband and father is immaculate, his life very balanced, financially well to do, active in community, his deen is witnessed by the local imaam as an examplary, he travelled from Massachussetts to Melbourne to ask for your hand, when he finally met you, at first glance, he came across as the kinda person you would accept in a hurry, but then, he told you about his wifey and family and seriously proposed to you, armed with Tazkiya from your local Islamic teacher and uncle Cag Bakayle Chief of reer Qansax back in Somalia and everyone in between he throws his hat and asks you humbly to marry him, adding that he is ready to accept anything as long as it is a "YES", determined that if you decline that he would camp right infront of your apartment building peresistently praying in public view all of Ramadan until you accept, what would you do?

 

 

Nur

[Nephissa]

Not Married to #1 and Looking for #2? Doesn't that spell disaster?

 

How is a man deserving of having that poor loyal person(wife 1), sitting at home waiting for him, while he goes off screwing someone else (wife 2)?

Just the thought of it makes me cringe.

[Umm al_khair]

If you think you can be just to both of them and you would like to marry 2, mashaallah at least you are being honest with her and you are telling her now, because telling her later can bring troubles within your marriage if she disagrees, coz that will mean you may lose your first marriage.

So I advise you since it is allowed in Islam and that is what you want to go for it but find someone who is happy with you having 2 wives (this women will be someone who has a strong imaan which will help her to get through the emotions and or jealousy) at least then there can be a strong family unit, lasting friendship between the wives and treating each other like sisters in Islam wanting for each other what they want for them self’s. inshallah may allah make it easy for you.

[Salafi_Online]

So a sister is not pious if she is not happy with her husband marrying a second wife?

Erm, why do u feel the need to read it from this perceptive? YOu could have also added, " does a girl have to be beautiful to accept polygamy?" I think your reading too much into this, IM sure there are ugly girls with no piety who also endorse Polygamy!

 

MY Point, if not evident is" There are plenty of fish in the sea who are pious and beautiful so do not despair?"

[STOIC]

Salaf, the link didn't helped me at all, saaxib.Would you be kind to explain it to me what ayah 4:129 means? The way i understood it is that there is no way as humanbeings we could do justice between wives even if we have a great enthusiasm for it.One thing you have to understand is that i am not denying the hallal part of having two wives.My argument stems from the applicability of justice between two people.We can have a pilpul argument here where we can all pull the pros and cons of having two wives versus one wife but this is not what i intend.I hope you understood that i am not insisting on procrustean solution on Islamic polygamy nor am i trying to vex oneself anent with what is not in the Quraan here saaxib.

[Kashafa]

determined that if you decline that he would camp right infront of your apartment building peresistently praying in public view all of Ramadan until you accept, what would you do?

Nur-ka,

 

ileen macalin wayn baa ahayd !! Didn't know Cag Bakayle's had this much game in them

[Johnny B]

Is there a Somali girl who is entertaining to be the 2nd choice on this thread?

 

P/s I thought the bro asked ONLY for religious comments

[sheherazade]

Dear poster, you have sex on the mind.

 

Read again:

 

I believe I need 2 women and believe I can financially support (being in the States of course I am not planning to marry some one who isn't going to work at all, hence "house wife").

 

Need = Sex

 

Moreover, all these people saying go for it have neglected to notice that you want a wife that will help with what is your part of the deal Islamically(financial responsibility). U're already saying u can't handle it and they're telling u to go get 2 wives. You and they are irresponsible. I really DO wish people would read what is presented to them before regurgitating their views.

 

Stop dating- Islamic advice.

And be a man- Sheh's advice.

[Muhammad]

^

 

Naasir, what is your intention bro?

[Castro]

Originally posted by Naku Penda Piya:

How is a man deserving of having that poor loyal person(wife 1), sitting at home waiting for him, while he goes off screwing someone else (wife 2)?

Naku, the idea is to have both in the same household. There will be no "going off" anywhere. At most, it's a short walk down the hall to another room.

 

[To moderator(s): Unceremoniously delete this one too, will ya? Bidaa inigu cuntay Castro ileen.]

[Reena]

regarding ur thoughts here on having two wives, this is completely upto you and if you can treat both equally and support them, but always keep in mind what you 1st wife might go though since it is hard for a woman to cope with her husbands other wives

[rudy-Diiriye]

well! #1 it aint about screwing but fullfilling our diin! lets take it to 1 level up!! ok..

 

if the 1st wife gives her blessings! then there aint no problem! if this lady trusts her husband and has the confidence to give her homie the ok sign! then its all good!

 

anything else! is like a splilled milk !!

:confused: