My theory on why some fellas become jerks

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Here is my theory on why some some brothers become "jerks" to our queens:

 

Contrary to what some Somali girls think, nomad men are mostly interested in successful relationships at first. Most Somali men will never pass up the chance to date an african princess. In fact, when a brother does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, 'This woman is a queen. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy.'

 

The problem starts when the brother, specially if he is a neophite, starts to become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for her because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the nomad queen starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start to wander. The man she previously considered to be the stud in town suddenly looks some kind of a declasse weirdo to her. In other words, he is more jajune than anyone she has ever seen. lol

 

Notice how the brother didn't even change at all.

 

The real odyssey comes the minute after the brother notices her lack of interest towards him. Aaaha....Instead of trying to play his game right (stay calm, act like you aren't concerned much), the brother starts to over-react as he tries to hold on to his queen. In the process, he shows extreme lack of confidence and this is when it becomes a death trap! This is when things turn around very quickly.

 

What is next? The next stage is for her to look for a new fella who will bring excitement back into her life by being the 'new and improved' challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. It is never a fair game. Eventually, the brother will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong.

 

It's at this point that the brother begins to think that most Somali women generally don't know what they want. Evidently, he starts to judge all the queens.

 

The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario?

 

The birth of the "jerk" persona. The simple, caring nomad is resurrected into a "Mr. Jerk". He then starts to dog any queen ... from the most callow, to the highly sophisticated. The momentum has clearly shifted. lol

[Abdinuur]

Libaax-Sankataabte,

 

Nice theory yo. Though bein' too nice or too honest can blow off a relationship, that only applies to 'soft' *bleeps*

 

Ladies, I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day...But a sex machine by night!

 

Just kiddin'...lol

 

As long as the 'nice' guy can HIT it good and do his thang, I think the relationship would survive and last longer...

 

[Hibo]

 

We don't get tired of the 'nice' guy, we get tired of the predictable one. You're confusing the two. When relationships become too predictable, they turn into DEATH TRAPS. What can u do but try to get out of it?

 

See, its not our fault!

[Hibo]

And vice versa LS!

[Rokko]

lol

 

This is very old topic but I had to bring it back ya'all.

 

Nice theory Libaax. That was cool yo.

[LadyDotNet]

Libaax nice theory,

But one tends to wonder how easy the process to turn Mr nice into a 'Jerk' is. Surely if the process is that quick, than I must assume the brothers that turn that quick must have been a 'closet jerks' all along .

There is a difference between MR nice and MR foolish.... read the signs, and fellas don't allow yourselves to be taken for granted, be with someone who appreicates you and if they don't seek elsewhere - do us all a favour and don't brush us all under the same brush -.

[Legend of Zu]

LooooL @ Clown.....hahaha..U just did..I mean left a mark, tellin how jerk U are!!!

 

 

I will formulate my own theory...and then unleash it....

 

 

cheeers

[Hibaad]

It's at this point that the brother begins to think that most Somali women generally don't know what they want. Evidently, he starts to judge all the queens.

 

Guys turn into 'Jerks' as they had some bad experiences with some sisters, but how stupid are they that they can't tell the difference between ppl.

 

I think only idiots turn into 'Jerks'

[LadyDotNet]

Clown, You can love them and still disrespect them! . I guess you know yourself best, so if you say you are a 'jerk' than you will hear no arguments from me.. Thumbs up for self knowledge .

[finestsista2005]

I like your topic Libax. Although, i would say it goes both way. Guys get bored with the ladies too...it's not just the sista's. You men are the onces always cheating behind our back with different ladies from all over the states/provinces. So, in relationship it's good to keep the interest alive. You should not tell everything about you to ur man/women let them find out. Little bit of guessing (mistery) challeges them, keeps them wanting to find out more. If you both know everything about eachother what is left...you end up not conversating....lol.

 

So, ladies..get the man allwayz guessing...aiight....

 

By the way.....your theory...if the man turns to a jerk...then probably a girl who had same scenario happen to her would be kinda "bi**ch" to the brothers right.

[LadyDotNet]

Clown

 

why use the term 'naive'? I have a feeling you did not really grasp my last comment - I was congradulating you for self acknowledgement...hence thumbs up.... I give UP( *** wondering why da clown always up for a battle :confused: )..

[Blessed]

Originally posted by muna:

 

I think only idiots turn into 'Jerks'

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. Nuff Said

[Guto]

Libaax, It seems your theory perfectly applied to me. I had a relationship a guy, We both very much

liked each other and so on, we worked same place go same school, spent most of time togather either at school studying or at work. He was very caring respectful man and he treated me like a princess. But he was very emotional always wanted me to express affectionate for him and he was not sure of himself. These attitudes turn me off. He would then confront with me and demand for more of my time and affaction, but I grew more withdrawing and distance from him, the argument circulate and eventually we came apart. I feel guilt and lost now that he was nice and respectful person who only demanded the same from me and I fail to return the love he had for me that saddens me in great deal.

[Siman]

Libaax, did U consider perhaps holding some seminars for the fellows nomads it seems they are in dark understanting how to deal with S.women.

The phrases like" naag Somaliyed asxaan maleh"

became cliché for them. When if fact they fail to assess the situation correctly and handle it according. They are quit in blaming the lady and generalizing to the entire S.women population.

[Senora]

"the good guy gone bad"

 

i wont generalize and say that this theory should be put to blame for all the jerks in existence today,because there are other root causes as to why people are the way they are, like for instance sometimes its the environment they're exposed too..... but i wont go into that, i will however say that SOMETIMES the "good guy gone bad" theory can happen....its happened to many of my ex's...

 

My problem was that i was never upfront about my feelings...if i wasnt feelin the guy, i couldnt work up the nerves to admit it to him...so isntead i just led him on, until i felt we were in too deep, and then cut him off, like a loose piece of thread on an old shirt.....yeah yeah, i know...that was dirty ...and it was all my fault....but i can see why some of my ex's act the way they act now....they aren't looking for another commitment...just something to bang!!!...but anyways,i just believe that for either sex, as long as you can keep it real/and be upfront....no games or gimmicks....and ur both looking for the same thing...then i dont see a problem...but once u start the misleading, and the games.....it could lead to something u mihg tlater regret....and it can leave a lasting effect with a negative outcome