DA_BEAST Posted March 28, 2003 i can't understand what the fuss is all about, i mean what's wrong with older women? why do ppl have this wrong ideas about being with an older woman? why do ppl treat you differently or talk behind your back when they see you with an older woman or hear that you're seeing an older woman? even if you were serious about that lady or perhaps even married to that lady ppl will still look at you differently. forexample when you phone back home and talk to your mom or dad the first question they ask you is why haven't you married yet? and if you tell them that you seeing a lady whom you like or even love the 1st question that pops outta their mouth is WHO IS SHE?WICH QABIL DOES SHE BELONG TO?HOW OLD IS SHE?i mean why does the is so important? yo all i'm saying is ppl should let one do whatever he wants to do coz is ok for women to marry an older man then why is it not ok for them to marry a younger guy what's wrong with that? lemme know what y'all think about this. peace. i'm out. :confused: :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RaMpAgE Posted March 28, 2003 damn man..u got a lot of questions their :eek: ..anwayz i can't answer them since i don't know the answer. :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuNsHyNe Posted March 28, 2003 Well Da Beast, mothers dont particularly appreciate their precious sons to marry an older woman coz they feel threatened that this older woman will be controlling and manipulative. The second idea could be that...well its not exactly normal for men to marry an older woman but I couldnt care less to be honest!! I will come up with more ideas later... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 28, 2003 Older women have a new level of head games. I personally think that she has to see some good potential in a younger guy at which point she'll provide the proper "support" and "encouragement" to help him reach that potential. Most Younger women are too busy trying to bag a brotha who has already made it...when they get older they realize that should have found one that CAN make it and get in on the opportunity @ the ground floor. So maybe they're making amends??? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? You decide. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted March 28, 2003 hmmmm interesting question because it's making me question my believes. U know as when i was younger, i didn't like older women with younger men because i believed that intellectually they wouldn't be compatiable, because men mentally grow slower than women. And i thought a older man with younger women (mind you u i am speaking of max 15 years age difference here) was okay because then he was probably at the same level in intelligence as her But as one tends to grow up, i have changed my mind. I am okay now with older women marrying a younger man (i could think of a huge benefit in one depatment ) because there are guyz with high level of maturity at a young age. So I say if an older woman fell in love with a younger man go for it, because really it isn't like it is his fault his parents had he later than you NO MORE DISCRIMINATIONS Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted March 29, 2003 Scorpion-Fair enough walaal, i will do my part. I don't have an organization or anything to fight ignorance but as an individual, i do confront people with distorted views about handicapped. I know wat we somalis do when we meet an handicapped person, " wartan or ama kan waxbaa u dhiman". we identity the handicapped by their disability, war laan garaha or kan madaxa yar. anyone doing that in front of me gets a little lecture, if they don't get and does same agian and agian, we might end up in fist fight. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted March 29, 2003 I believe that this is somewhat of a universal view held by many societies around the world not just somalis...it's just one of those things society discourages and if you do otherwise, they look down on you...It's such a double standard but hey, no matter how it's prohibited, you'll still see some women who have the guts and who follow their hearts and marry a younger man. As for me, I would never marry a guy who's younger than me mainly because I will feel like there is a huge mental discrepancy or that he's not emotionally fulfilling...It might be a judgement on my part but I'll just always feel that he's less this and that...and subhanallah, I would hate to be so unfair to another human being like that. So as Scorpion said...men and women are made differently and thus they mature at different rates...I think a 20 yr old girl is ready in many levels esp psychologically to get married compared to a 20 yr old boy...I mean can you guyz imagine him running a family :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 29, 2003 "huge mental discrepancy" "not emotionally fulfilling" "he's less this and that" "mature at different rates" Nafisa, what part of this should we as men Not be offended by? I don't mean to start an argument here, but where is this study that shows women mature faster than men? (I hope it's not from a cosmo opinion poll). Because it seems to me that you're using this as a basis for your entire point. Scorpion said "there are guyz with high level of maturity at a young age". Of course there are. Now you're not going to disagree that there's some immature women of all ages out there. If you want a good example, Prophet Mohammed (S.A.W) was married to Khadija who was 15yrs older than him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted March 29, 2003 U guys forget the most important factor of this issue.Most somali women would rather be single than marry a guy younger than her.I don't know what it's but most of 'em believe a man younger than her is a trouble in the making. Anyway i nowadays find middle aged somali women kinda sexy,i don't know y, maybe i fantasize about experienced woman or maybe it's just lust.whatever its some of'emare appealing to the feelings of the eyes LOOOOOOOOOool shhhhhhhhhhs don't tell this 2 my mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iffah Posted March 29, 2003 Shyhem there is still another important factor that wans't mentioned. How about the parents thinking the older woman is close to finishing her childbearing years. Therefore, she won't be able to produce as many grandkids as they would like to have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted March 29, 2003 Underdog, I'm sorry if what I said offended you but I don't see any part of my post that was offensive. If I recall correctly, all I was referring to was how I would feel had I been in that position and that those feelings would be the very thing that would prevent me from marrying a youger guy cuz it would again, be unfair to him.( hint...that is all about my personal view) Now, does any part of that generalize something about men and how young men are less mature (as you perceived)?? I don't think so!!, in terms of growth, there's obviouly physiological bases that confer their differences (do a bit research will ya! ) I also metioned that it was a double standard that society allows older men to marry younger women but not the other way around...and as far as religion goes...the prophet (saw) also married Aisha who was only 9 yrs of age, now try and reverse that and see if it can work in real life. So walaal macaan, I strongly suggest you read and understand the words ppl write within their context before you pick and choose and make comments, then you might not have such a negative perception Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 30, 2003 Nafisa walaaley, relax, take a deep breath and go back to DEFCON 5. 1st of all I didn't "perceive" anything, I quoted you on what you said. I did understand (and ageed with) the general context in which you spoke. What I was attemping to clarify is whole concept/theory that women mature/develop faster than men. You're not the only one to have mentioned it. A lot of people seem to have that idea and base a lot on it. I wasn't looking to lock horns with you. I just need some enlightenment on the issue. It's seems I ditched class on the day they presented that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conspiracy Posted March 30, 2003 older women, eh ? ummh it depends how old we talking about ya know even old women need some luv... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted March 30, 2003 How in the fuking world my post above ended up here? It was for some other topic started by scorpoin-sista.sista......Strange....I guess i was either high or the moderators are going nuts...lol Da beast.....I don't think it is taboo.but anyway it is not a relationship thats gonna last anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Senora Posted March 30, 2003 Sad to say, but older woman/younger man relationships are frowned upon sometimes. I personally don't think anything is wrong with that. If two people are 'feelin each other', then so be it, let them do their thang. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
