Over- Protectiveness=Controlling?

[Khalaf]

Salam Alaykum, and in spirit of Eid...Eid mubarak yaa Muslimeen and may Allah give us a good New Year. Ameen

 

I have my own ideas on this topic, i am sure having been here for a while some of you may know what that maybe. But i am going to open the floor to everyone and am in interested in your thoughts/experiences on the topic, in particular the females. Its the holiday season, school/work is out, its party-time, new years ect. This means there is high risk, in fact the highest risk season. Liquor, drugs, parties, and da hustlers that want game young girls. How much freedom should a young girl be given by her family? Travel w/ her friends ect to another state about 2 weeks? What do you think?

 

ps: None of that, let a girl live, youll just push her away w/ protectiveness junk. Thanks.

[Al-Muminah]

Salaama alaykum,

 

It's all based on family values. Who would let their little teenage daughter spend two weeks with her friends doing God knows what, subhanAllah? If you're able to keep her away from what Allah has forbidden, then do so, who cares if it's being ''overprotective''? She's your child afterall and all you want to do is keep her safe. The deen should be implemented in children when they are young, and in an encouraging way so that they end up loving it until they grow up inshaAllah. Everyone is bound to rebel, but it's the foundations and fabric you lay into your household during those first years of childhood that will shape the way they live the rest of their life inshaAllah.

 

That's not to say that young sisters should not be given freedom, but speak to her about her whereabouts first and make sure you can contact her and all that necessary stuff (use technology to your advantage). Lakinse if you're allowing your daughter to go on a ''roadtrip'' (woohooo) with her friends then surely there is something wrong with your parenting skills. :confused:

 

Anyway, what are the conditions on a Muslimah travelling alone? I've heard that if she is travelling a far distance, then a mahram must be present. Allahu Calim.

 

PS. A late Eid Mubarak to you too.

[-Lily-]

First of all, how old is this girl?

[Som@li]

^Good question,

[umu zakaria]

sending a teenage girl alone with freinds 4 2 weeks! that is a BIG NO NO. But, i cant lock her up when her freinds r out discovering god knows what. So we will compromise. How abt you accompany her khalaf, or better take her to her favourite plcaes. if you refuse her one thing she wants, always be fair and replace it with something else even if she doesnt appreciate, she will one day.

[Cara.]

ps: None of that, let a girl live, youll just push her away w/ protectiveness junk. Thanks.

LOL. You want to show your little sister that SOL universally condemns the idea of her traipsing all over the country, and you're worried some of us won't follow the script?

 

Never fear, most here will treat her like a dumb hooker who just needs a week away from her family to let her real nature out. Despite nearly two decades of proper conditioning, I'm sure she'll give up the goods to the first hustler who croons "Hi boo".

[Aaliyyah]

Asalaamu alaikum khalaf,

 

Well, it depends on her maturity; sometimes young girls are more mature than those in their 20s. Some people are more responsible and can be trusted more than others. If you think she is mature girl that can take care of herself for two weeks then by all means let her go with her friends and enjoy her time. On the other hand, if she is not mature enough and you think she can easily be influenced by people then keep her close and explain yourself to her. That been said, I think two weeks in another state is a lil too much freedom for a young girl. Perhaps, make sure an older mature sister or cousin to accompany her so she can keep an eye on her, preferably someone close to her age range so she wouldn't feel she is being controlled.

 

When I was younger and my mom didn't allow me to do a particular thing I use to feel she was on my way. But, now here I am being over protective of my younger sisters, let alone letting them to go to another state. I worry when they hang out with some of their friends that I think are not a good influence. So, It is all out of love, and your sister will figure that out down the road.

 

Wa salaamu alaikum

[Geel_jire]

I would never let her go, I would be too worried about too many things [security,etc] to even consider it,

 

I have two younger sisters they really hated me when they are 16~19. But we see eye-to-eye when they got to 20+.

 

my advice, be firm, And fulfill your responsibility towards him/her .you are their older brother not their freind.

[Valenteenah.]

This would be her parents' decision, wouldn't it?

[RedSea]

keep those lil creeps in a monkey cage. They should have no access to the phone or the even be allowed to peek through the window.

[Nehanda]

Depends on the age, character of the young girl in question and the strength of her relationship with her family.

[NGONGE]

Does this hypothetical girl have a computer in her bedroom?

[Jacaylbaro]

Does that computer have an Internet access ?

[NGONGE]

^^ And a Web Cam

[Ms DD]

WHat do you think happens when a girl has a computer,webcam and internet connection? shall we assume she also posses the mentality of a 40yrld?