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Worry about the increasing divorce rate in the somali community in North America

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Aaliyyah   

Ameen I like to let my man take the lead, dont wanna hurt his pride u know lol.

 

By the way Aisha lol I wouldnt count on fartuun's words ...last time she was talking abt how she kisses her bf front of somalis and how she doesnt giva dam :rolleyes: ...the next min she is married , this girl needs to stop making up topics just so she can entertain us. :D

 

wa salaam

 

p.s. you can have the meher in a mosque , bt the wedding I think a hotel would do smile.gif

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Aisha   

...last time she was talking abt how she kisses her bf front of somalis and how she doesnt giva dam :rolleyes:

:eek: oh, hell no!!!!lol

 

By the way Tone, I forgot to tell you that you (and the rest of us brothers) need to become more romantic (not like Usher or Tyrese romantic, but just "a faraax romance") if we want to succeed with these sisters than we need to bring out our skills (HA romance, more like a date at Subway lool).

lol, Ameen, all you guys need to do to succeed is just be yourselves! It's these so called "skills" thats holding you's back lol ;)

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Lake   

Originally posted by AAliyah416:

Ameen lol war maxaad isku diri ..YOU suppose to tell me to go for em not the other way around .Tone u are on brother.So what is next
:D
...

 

wa salaam

 

p.s. tone lol@ tells his mom son is abt 2 be marreid, hun lets not rush , u suppose to sweep me off my feet first..lord how lil u somali men know of Romance
icon_razz.gif

I for one do not know the meaning of a Romance....I'm trying to eliminate all the gimmicks sister, just cut to the chase.

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Aaliyyah   

Areas of Romance

 

Write. Just a small piece of paper with “I love you” on it can be used in so many ways. From notes in their lunches, to sitting on the dashboard of the car, to hidden in their wallet, purse or briefcase, to laying on their pillow, to being on their dinner plate, to taped to their watch, stuck to the handle of the refrigerator to just anywhere. Other simply phrases that are nice to use include: “I’m lovesick for you”, “I’m feeling hot for you”, “You make me amorous” and “Just thinking of you.” Whatever you decided to write, from simple notes to poetry to full-blown love letters, letting your partner know they are in your thoughts is one of the nicest things you can do for them.

 

Talk. Tell your partner that you love them. Tell them often. Tell them something they do that you like. Tell them that you are enchanted by them, fascinated by them, enamored of them, overwhelmed by them, captivated by them. Tell them how much you want them in your life. This can be while watching TV with them, while driving someplace, while helping them with chores around the house, during a call to them through the day. There is rarely a bad time to tell your partner that you care for them.

 

Listen. There are several ways this is important. It is important to listen to the things your partner is telling you about their day, their wants and their dreams. Being someone they can share with and let steam off to makes you a close friend as well as being a partner. Don’t let this opportunity escape. It’s also important to listen to music together. Music lets us “escape” the pressures of life and for a moment feel relaxed and rejuvenated. Sharing this with your partner allows you to be part of their escape too, and lets you share an experience that will build the strength of your relationship.

 

 

Teasing & Horseplay. Fun is an important and serious matter in a relationship. Take the time to play with your partner. Whether this is an actual board game, a sport game, a videogame, a computer game that you share or something else such as watching a movie together, spending “downtime” together is a must. When funny things happen, enjoy the moment and remember to remind your partner about the incident at a later time with a “tease”. This leads to the two of you having “inside jokes” to share with one another, and helps strengthen your relationship. The thing to remember is to make sure you do not “over-tease” your partner. It may be that they are sensitive to being teased about something. (And they may not realize it until it happens.) If your partner doesn’t like being teased about something…STOP! And it’s a good idea to ask your partner every once in a while if they are okay with the teasing. You’re trying to improve your relationship here, not set up resentments. The same thing applies to tickling. Some people like it…some don’t. If your partner doesn’t, respect that and don’t tickle!!!! Another bit of horseplay that can be fun for you and your partner is a pillow fight. Now be gentle about it…but enjoy it. It’s amazing how much fun it can…no matter your age.

 

Courtesy. This is very important. Romance also deals with courtesy and chivalry. Being courteous shows that you respect your partner. Remember to be polite with your partner. Remember to say “Thank you” and “Please”. Show them that you appreciate the gift of their company in your life. Another area where this can play a part is doors. Open the door (of the car or to a building) and hold it open for your partner. This may seem like really nothing big or important, but it is a subtle way of saying, “Let me do something for you.” That goes a long way in developing a loving relationship. Also offer to carry things for your partner. While they may or may not accept the offer, having the offer made to them will please them greatly. Again because it is showing that you are thinking of them.

 

Compliment. This does not mean idle platitudes. They should be honest sincere thoughts you give your partner about themselves and their actions. Each day try to find something to compliment your partner on. It doesn’t have to be anything major, just something from “You smell nice” to “Your have beautiful eyes” to “The love note you left me made me feel good”. Just take the time to let them know that you appreciate them and what they do.

Tone I dont know what a relationship is without romance :rolleyes:

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Ameen   

AAliyah dont you know that there are like a handful of issues in which brothers and sisters, men and women, process differenlty in their minds. (Thinking about it deeper, there are actually more issues than we can count lol). For example, Love....but since romance is the topic at hand...lets stick to it. Romance (Tone, brother...trust you probably know what romance is, but your romance is not up to Par with what sisters nowadays require and my proof for that is...LOOK ABOVE, my sister in Islam AAliyah has taken the time to post "all we need to know about the 21st Century Romance lol...thanks sis. Im sure a relationship with little to no romance can exsist, but BROTHERS its something we should try to AVOID if we are trying to keep away from high blood pressure lol.

And Allah knows best

 

P.S. AAliyah I understand you like your man to take the lead, but they say, "behind every strong man is even a stronger woman" so in that case, dont be afraid to take the first step.

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Ameen   

Aisha your right. We should just be ourselves and not get caught in between the myths of becoming the perfect man. Im sure, the women will accept us for who we really are....

 

And Allah knows best

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Marriage= compromise+ understanding + friendship+need to support the other + maintaining ure bedroom expeditions+ few kids+stay away from Somali ppl as possible+ mhhi will let you knw if i think of others lol .

 

 

Ps most Somalis weddings are doomed from the start coz the lack the basic.

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Ameen   

Cynical, I like your equation to avoid divorce. “The stay away from the Somali people” is very important in my book. lol@ a few kids (but true, specially if your a young couple and trying to get by)

So what are the basics the weddings lack these days?

Does it have to do more with the religious basics or the cultural practices? Educate us, wont you?

 

And Allah knows best

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Ameen they want wedding not marriage hence there doomed. ESP with young Somali couple they rather have lavish wedding and live in crap house instead of no wedding but mortgaged house mhh decision decisions (do I want to feed ppl who will curse me either way I mean Somali ppl regardless how much u spend on ure wedding they will still snob it so y feed them take that money invest in a house and good honeymoon is my thinking should he be poor)

 

 

ohh lord i cant believe i have wisdom 2 give. lol

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Ameen   

Well that’s true. In regards to why you feed them....ummm....ummmm....even tho they (not all Somali people, but the ones we are accustomed to noticing these days) are probably gonna say something negative about "your special day". The reason you serve them and feed them WITH A SMILE is to get the blessing of Allah for your marriage. So in reality, it has nothing to do with them and in fact, you should thank them for coming and taking your food. I agree with you on why spend $15,000 on a wedding when you'll can take a trip to let say, Paris and enjoy a week of stress free events (if you know what I mean lol)

Buying a home is never a bad idea also.

 

Knowledge is the lost property of the believer and he snatches it where-ever he may find it.

 

And Allah knows best

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