Worry about the increasing divorce rate in the somali community in North America

[Jacaylbaro]

sometimes divorce can be the only solution ,,,,,

[Som@li]

Marriages and Divorces are directly proportional, more marriages,More divorces.

 

Many marrieges fail cuz of lack of responsbility from both sides.

 

The family aslo play critical role, some marrieges break cuz of family issues, like evil step-mothers ,Once my friend tried to marry a girl, and a man who is married to the girl's sister, approachd my friend and warned him, that he lives in hell,and adviced him to stay away from this family.

 

When he heard the stories of this poor guy,He ran away for his life.

[Aaliyyah]

Dabshid I agree with you that somali families play crucial role in marraige break down. My own uncle was crazy in love with this girl who happen to be from another tribe,which both of their families was not supportive. After six years , and having three kids he is divorced, I couldnt believe it giving that I knew the depth of their love. But I think his and her family consistently not being supportive ended their relationship u knoow how somali families could be....i would say if you get married to some one that yur families are not happy with then move move to another country, otherwise they will consistently talk shit abt u, and perhaps it will get to u at the end.

wa salaam

[Ameen]

Assalam alaikum

AAliyah, I got a question sister.

Lets say you are madly in love (and some would say, love...HA, what’s love got ta do with it..lol) but lets say you are in love, like Ike and Tina (before all that aggressive stuff occurred) and we take your advice and move away from our families. What if the "love" that we thought was strong is in fact weak? What does the sister do than?

Run back to that same family that she ran away from in the first place?

I think...real love begins when you actual marry the person and share something special with them. Anything before that is considered an "attachment" to the person (well at least that’s the conclusion I've come up with).

So lets take our families advice (unless of course its but justified ,ie..tribes, etc) and I’m sure the rate of divorces will decrease in our community, Inshallah.

And Allah knows best

[Aaliyyah]

well when I said move away from yr i didnt meant like move away and just stop contacting yr family all together, Just move away that way they wont be in yr case 24/7 na'mean? and yes if it doesnt work out ofcourse u gonna come back to yr family where else u gonna go, and yeh they gonna have u back cuz they are yr family lol.

 

Brother you gota point in terms of asking yr family for advice and asking them hey I like this guy what u guys think of him, bt most of the time it has nothing to do with the guy it has something to do with his family. Like honestly this is what my mom always says " ninka reerkiisa eeg asaga kaliya ma ahe" ,,,as if i was marrying the whole family ..wa yaabe familigisa maxa iga shan iyo toban. Anyways, I wouldn't count on taking the guy/girl your family chooses, cuz that would even increase divorce rather then decreasing it , cuz the family will not judge the guy for who he is , they are just going to check if he came from a good family. bt then who defines what good family is ??? in most cases good family simply means he is from the same tribe . Most families would rather see their daughter with a guy from the same tribe doesnt matter if he is relegious or not, and they would certainly choose him over a relegious brother from another tribe, cuz they gonna be like ..marka dhib dhacdo ya lo tagaya ?? reerkisa soma aha , hadaan reerka aqoon dhib weeye lol just qouting my elders, but I dont agree with them .

wa salaam

[Ameen]

So we agree...LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT? lol

Who defines a good family?

Well we can always check the "Somali Yellow Pages" under the category of families; maybe we can find something that will direct us to what a good family is. True say, I think...as the next generation of Somali people, we need to put this whole concept of tribes behind us. Even if our parents are attached to this belief, we shouldn’t be surprised with that; rather...we should look them in the eye and say..."you know, this tribe thing that got Somali’s all emotional and everything, I don’t believe in that". And if hooyo is into that whole tribe thing, than take a few steps back before saying that or else....lol

And Allah knows best

[Aaliyyah]

well I agree with the fact that you have to talk to yr family and make them see that it is tribilism is irrelevant , I always take that ayah in the quran that goes we made u of nations and tribes to get to know one another, and the best of u is that individual with taqwa "ina akramakum cinda laahi atqaakum. that shuts my mom lol ofcourse she finds some way to make yr point, how that guy from the same tribe will treat me like no other bla bla bla....as for love..I believe in it , I will never marry unless it if for love.

 

wa salaaam

[Ameen]

So you won’t marry unless it’s for love eh?

 

But...is it a love of the individual or is it love for the sake of Allah?

You if absolutely have to marry for love, than which love would you marry for?

I think I know the answer, but I’m trying to assume fewer things in my life, lol.

And Allah knows best.

[Ameen]

So you won’t marry unless it’s for love eh?

 

But...is it a love of the individual or is it love for the sake of Allah?

You if absolutely have to marry for love, than which love would you marry for?

I think I know the answer, but I’m trying to assume fewer things in my life, lol.

And Allah knows best.

[Ameen]

So you won’t marry unless it’s for love eh?

 

But...is it a love of the individual or is it love for the sake of Allah?

You if absolutely have to marry for love, than which love would you marry for?

I think I know the answer, but I’m trying to assume fewer things in my life, lol.

And Allah knows best.

[Aaliyyah]

well I meant love for the individual ofcourse, bt everything should be for the sake of Allah swt, in terms of making sure that man is relgious and practices his relegion fully.

 

wa salaam

[Ameen]

So you won’t marry unless it’s for love eh?

 

But...is it a love of the individual or is it love for the sake of Allah?

You if absolutely have to marry for love, than which love would you marry for?

I think I know the answer, but I’m trying to assume fewer things in my life, lol.

And Allah knows best.

[Ameen]

Sorry about the copied posts...Something is wrong with the computer.

Anyways I understand what your saying about Mr. Right and so I'll ask Allah to grant you all that you seek from Him who owns the Great Bounty.

And Allah knows best

[Ameen]

Sorry about the copied posts....something is wrong with the computer...but I understand what your saying...and May Allah grant you all that you seek (halal of course, lol) in this world and in the hereafter

And Allah knows best

[Ameen]

So you won’t marry unless it’s for love eh?

 

But...is it a love of the individual or is it love for the sake of Allah?

You if absolutely have to marry for love, than which love would you marry for?

I think I know the answer, but I’m trying to assume fewer things in my life, lol.

And Allah knows best.