HONEY, PLEASE HIT ME ONLY ONCE A WEEK.

[LuCkY]

AsaLaamu ALaikum,

 

LOOOL...Thats the funniest thing Ive heard aLL day.

 

"I hit her because a wife should be afraid of her husband, and this way I oblige her to respect me," said the man

That^^^is so UN-ISLAMIC.

 

 

seriously... and i don't care if we got million kids together, first day and i would be out of that house for good...

Mag-girL...TotaLLy agree wit ya...One sLap and Its OVer!

[LayZie G.]

I don't understand this judge who ruled out the hitting altogether, what business does he have to judge on such matters?

 

MARYAM B made a request to the judge, he should either grand her the request or dismiss the case altogether.

 

Maryam B obviously has some serious issues from what I've read, and she probably didn't start out enjoying the beating, but as time passed, maybe she started to get turned on by it???(Why else would a sane woman ask to be beaten once a week by a husband or anyone for that matter???)

 

 

Getting back to NGONGE...You asked would Beating be on top of the list for marriage resulting in divorce or something like that???

 

If a man I'm married to starts to entertain ideas about knocking my teeth out or even tries to slap me for whatever reason, he should start entertaining the idea of getting a deadly beating from me, to the point were we will eventually faint or bleed to death as a result, but DIVORCE?NO, why would I divorce him, when I believe EYE for an Eye???

 

If HE SLAPS ME, NOT ONLY WILL I SLAP HIM BACK BUT I WILL SHOW HIM WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO MEN WHO FAIL TO KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES BY GIVING HIM A LITTLE SHOW...(TAKE PART OF A SAMPLE FROM HIS PRIVATE PARTS WHEN HE IS AS SLEEP(part of his skin) AND COME MORNING TIME, WHEN HE WAKES UP, BLOOD aLL OVER, HE WILL ADAPT TO THE CHANGES VERY QUICKLY KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT WAS JUST A SAMPLE HE JUST WITNESSED, AND HE WOULDN'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE ACTUAL THING HAPPEN TO HIM)

[Legend of Zu]

Originally posted by SHOOBARO:

Kuunto wixii loo KuusKuusay kiraamo iyo dharbaaxo lee ma ohoooo

Hahahahahaha...Walaahi That made me laugh...daaaaaamn!!!! waa iga qoslisay sxb...

 

-----> walks away ..still laughin....

[Qac Qaac]

legend of zoo nin wadaad aan kuu maleen jiray, haddana waxaas oo kale aad ku qoslee iga raali ahoow haddaa kaa jajibiyay, laakiin runta waa in la sheegaa.

 

shoobaro a bit x rated man...

[nuune]

athena

^^ And who or what is a sex model?

 

Its true what they say, if you live long enough waxkasta waad arki *nods head*

 

Maybe we should all quit while we are ahead for the sake of the faint hearted among us.

i think u got the point, why scream if u r faint-hearted

 

Not everyone is into S&M...

=not everyone is into sex model, i think i explained it 4 u, anything else

 

 

shoobaro looooooooool@kuunto, waraa wax kasta karaama maa ka dhigee.

[NGONGE]

Ngonge, u do indeed sound like u are making excuses for domestic violence, reducing it to "just a slap" no big deal attitude. A slap leads to a punch and that leads to more serious and perhaps physically damaging behavior, but more importantly, the "lil' slap" does more damage to the psyche than anything else. Scars may go away, but emotional abuse doesnt, and it isn't right to reduce it or make excuses for it.

Its like me asking u, would u leave if she takes just one ball away from ur privates? its just one, get over it....

Is it always the case that a slap would lead to a punch and the punch would lead to more serious behaviour? Are there no occasions where things would stop at a the slap stage?

 

My question was put in a general sense with none of the limitations and assumptions that you’ve decided to attach to it. Of course, if things take place in the way you just described then there is really no point of me asking the question. A man who treats his wife like a punching bag is an animal that should be sectioned. However, what of the cases where things don’t go according to your vision of doom? What of the cases where a guy would slap his wife out of anger, stress, humiliation or whatever reason, but then repents the minute his hand connects with her face? My question was is the reaction going to be the same one on every occasion or do other factors come into play when making the decision to leave a POTENTIALLY abusive husband?

So, is it the idea of being hit that’s going to end a marriage or the repetitive hitting? Conversely, if a guy gets hit by his wife (which I concede is not a popular occurrence) would he divorce her for the sake of his pride if it was just the once and there was every sign of it not being repeated?

 

This is a serious issue and it deserves to be covered from every angle rather than the usual “men are animals†and “ women ask for it†rubbish. Comments such as “A marriage where a man slaps his wife is not a marriage and she should get rid of him†make lots of assumptions and conclusions. Surely this is not always the case? Maybe it is! But, since the topic was started, it would be a shame if we don’t try to discuss it rationally, wouldn’t you say?

 

 

PS

The discussion would run a lot more smoothly if we try not to personalise it or put ourselves in the characters shoes.

[sheherazade]

Ngonge, violence always starts small and it ends big and bad.

 

Yes, a marriage where a man slaps his wife is no marriage at all in my opinion. To be slapped on the face is humiliating and I'm not surprised it's where a man who is violent will begin. Subjugation and dominance, that's what it's about.

 

How does a woman know that it will stop at a slap? She doesn't. And so whether there is ever another slap or a progression of violence or not she will always flinch when there's an argument. What kind of life is that? Some men enjoy this kind of response. They feel they have the woman under control when it is they who need controlling.

 

If you had some sort of secret list of things that are totally unacceptable in a marriage, things that would instantly end a marriage, would a “beating†be top of that list?

I honestly can not believe u said this. Wouldn't u want this 'secret' to be on the top of yr daughter's list?

[NGONGE]

Ngonge, violence always starts small and it ends big and bad.

Always?

 

 

Subjugation and dominance, that's what it's about.

That’s one hell of a statement to make, don’t you think?

 

So, in your opinion, this is a black and white case. There are no shades of grey at all? At the very first sign of violence the whole thing should be ended! Fine. That I assume will also apply to men who use subjection and dominance without reverting to violence, men who know how to mentally torture their wives.

 

 

I honestly can not believe u said this. Wouldn't u want this 'secret' to be on the top of yr daughter's list?

Heh. I had a feeling that the discussion will be personalised, which is why I put the disclaimer at the end of my last post. Nevertheless, what I’d want for my daughter and what she’ll want for herself are two different things. I’d put violence top of her list of course. She on the other hand, might decide that cheating is worse; she might decide that an absent husband is worse; she might decide that a second wife is worse; or, she might agree with me and decide that a daily beating is the worst thing that might happen to her.

 

I still can’t see why you found the idea of a list so shocking!

[Valenteenah.]

NGONGE,

 

I think the way we view physical aggression from someone we trust and probably love, is very different from the way you would view it. In your case, as a male, being hit by your wife probably won't affect you in the same manner it would affect your wife were you to hit her (even if its just a little slap; even if just the once).

 

The simple fact of the matter is, striking someone happens to be the easiest way of intimidating them. Why else would you want to hit them? You want to hurt them and you want to humiliate them for whatever reason. Furthermore, it makes it doubly worse if you're physically stronger than your opponent/victim. Thats outright bullying.

 

If a problem cant be solved through discussion, it wont be solved by hitting - even if u manage to beat them into submission.

 

As far as I am concerned, raising a hand to your wife (or husband) is both a physical and moral transgression, which no spouse should stand for.

 

The fact that it might be a mere slap is irrelevant. What is relevant is the intent behind that little slap --> intimidation and, worse, the wish to cause her harm.

 

So, NGONGE, yes, a 'beating' would be at the very top of my list of 'things that would instantly end a marriage'. As a matter of fact, the slightest hint or show of aggression towards me (whether verbal or physical) would seriously make me review the marriage, if not dissolve it immediately.

 

Violence of any kind is a deal-breaker for me. No compromise.

 

Did I answer your question adequately?

 

Seven:

 

"What is S&M?"

 

------>

 

Sadism and Masochism Definition

 

Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. Medically it is considered to be a paraphilia. The word is derived from the Marquis de Sade, a prolific french writer of sadistic novels.

 

The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure. The name is derived from the 19th century author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, known for his novel Venus in Furs that dealt with highly masochistic themes.

Source

Any clearer now, Miss Seven?

 

 

LoL @ Discreet...those cuffs look professional.

[Bess.]

why would u hit ur wife or husband?...to me that was left behind with ur parents...they r the only ppl that have a right to punish u this way....because this is wat it come to...punishment....and that is something that shouldn't exist in a marriage...u r my husband not my daddy?....like aeryn said it is humiliating to beat on someone weaker than u physically....and wateva u tell urself the intent behind it is to subjugate and dominate a person...besides if u let a person get away with that, they won't stop with once or twice ...but they will go on....and a person who has done that to u ...doesn't respect u....

ps...of course i don't judge anyone into any erotic s&m or fetishes or wateva gets u off...don't get it ...but that is ur business ... :rolleyes:

[Gabbal]

...(TAKE PART OF A SAMPLE FROM HIS PRIVATE PARTS WHEN HE IS AS SLEEP(part of his skin) AND COME MORNING TIME, WHEN HE WAKES UP, BLOOD aLL OVER, HE WILL ADAPT TO THE CHANGES VERY QUICKLY KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT WAS JUST A SAMPLE HE JUST WITNESSED, AND HE WOULDN'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE ACTUAL THING HAPPEN TO HIM)

dayumn! i don't ever wanna meet you layziegirl. :eek:

 

p.s. wouldn't you hate yourself in the morning too for destroying something so precious to both of you

[-Serenity-]

And there you have people of SOL.. Aeryn is a FREAK. Will the real freak please stand up? :eek:

[sheherazade]

I did not find the idea of a list shocking. I found the use of the word 'secret' surprising. What could be so surprising about having violence at the top of a list of marriage breakers?

 

It IS about subjugation and dominance. Why else would a man need to resort to this kind of behaviour? He does it to get what he wants when he wants, just the way he wants. Alcohol, drugs, stress may go along with violence but they don't cause it. There is an intention to carry out the violence outside of these other factors.

 

Psychological abuse is often entertwined with the physical violence. It about power and control- intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation etc come as part and parcel of an abusive relationship. It is for each woman to decide when enough is enough but it can be a very difficult decision to make.

 

A slap can easily be the beginning of a cycle of violence. In my opinion, any man who feels the need to slap already has a warped internal opinion of the woman, the relationship and his role and may have demonstrated it in other ways- verbal for instance.

 

I asked you about your opinion, Ngonge. It is a personal one, as is mine. I don't remember attacking you so why the gripe? How about u tell us about the other possibilites(a slap stops at a slap) instead of coming only to your defence?

[IL CAPO]

Every man or a woman has his/her own principles that they believe in and whether they are right or wrong depends on which side of the fence you stand and domestic violence is unfortunately something we all know, seen or heard about and it happens everyday even in our own Somali society where you have a man brag about how he "disciplined" his wife, as far as I am concerned we should make love to our women and make them scream, mourn, groan and cry from pleasure and never from a pain that our fists caused.

 

I absolutely believe in the saying "Real Men Don't Hit Women" and between a man and a woman there should only be "Love" and never "Fear" but "Respect" and you can talk for the rest of your life and say whatever you want but you will never make me accept and agree that you can love some one without respecting that person because this person isn't your enemy but your loving wife, your companion so why would you even consider hurting this person who has dedicated all her energy, time and chose to spend for the rest of her life in loving you and you only?

 

 

For me that is just ridiculous and it is even more ridiculous to sit here and read what some guys wrote, I wonder what would their "opinions" be like if they saw their mothers getting beaten up s!lly by their fathers or their sisters beaten up by a guy like the dude above who in his own little mind believes that a wife should fear her husband? for the love of God, why and what for?

 

He is lucky he isn't married to my sister otherwise I would have shown him what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

 

Brothers, grow up and stop being hypocrites for all your lives and for once get off your rear ends and go outside of your untidy living rooms and look around and see how our women are losing respect for us every minute of the day because some stup!d dude believes being rude and disrespectful towards the sisters is the way to go but the fact of the matter is any woman who respects herself enough would demand to be respected and if you think I am taking you for a ride go and ask your mothers.

Brothers let us not get excited about something that we don't wish to see it happen to our loved ones.

I Leave You In Peace.

1 Love.

 

P.S Thanks a Million for your time.

[Nomen nescio]

Domestic violence is widely spread in the middle east, as I was growing up many of our neighbors used to beat down their wives on a regular basis, I think part of the problem is the fact that its hard for a women to have a life living by their own, so always they choose not to escalate the issue of domestic violence in fear of getting divorced… and that of course induces some men to keep on assaulting their wives..

But lets not forget that there are some women who are naturally violent, I witnessed a case where a wife attacked her husband and the poor guy tried to restrain her from hurting herself, she later claimed to have been beaten by her husband and had the audacity to claim me as a witness!!!