troubled sisters

[True2truth]

Originally posted by Nephthys:

Damn, thats harsh! Why is she doing this to you? Your mom should have slapped her cross eyed, mise aabahaa baa dhalay? half siblings-ku waa nooc minal chapaan.

another possibility, she is not she but....

listen Faynuus, check under the hood these sort of things r very common with our somali men, so check plz.

 

on a serious note, I think u need to give her space, I’m sure in good time she will realize all u have done for her and come to her senses if not than let it be for the sake of ALLAH

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by *Blessed:

She needs to find her own path, make her own decisions, mistakes.. Or she'll be some little (or big)

dhoongo

that keeps running back to you with every little problem.

. Is that the equivalent of the xamari word 'sacsac' aka ilkahaa xaaraantimeeyay?

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

Haye

[Abaay Heylay]

Faynus, your sister might be frustrated with her husband, him marrying second wife. Just give her break and be nicer to her. Also, communicate with her the best times not when she is angry.

 

I used hate my brother when I was in high school because he used to be over protective. All the guys used to be afraid to ask me anything cause they knew my brother would fight with them. One day I discussed with him how all this that he was doing was hurting me and embarrasing me. He opologize and promised to me, he would trust me. I knew my brother loved me cause he used give me half of his pay cheque when he got paid. But I hated him because of his over protectiveness. So faynuus abaya just don't give up on her, use nice tone of voice and always be the better when argiung.

May Allah make it easy for you and her.

[Blessed]

Yep, it's the same thing.

 

Looooool@ ilkahaa xaaraantimeeyay! I love that, so going to use it..

[Oz]

Faynuus,

 

Your sister is behaving the way she is because she is a teenager. Teenagers never listen or take advice. They believe they are right. But inshallah, by the age of 20 or 21, she will realise her mistakes. She will become regretful and inshallah change. Just be patient. Give her time because she will come around.

[Faynuus]

Originally posted by *Blessed:

Hmmm. Could it be that you (Faynuus) is too overbearing and self righteous? I find it hard to believe that you are all perfect and she is so evil.

 

It could be that your sister is a little spoilt, perhaps immature but if you were approaching things probably you wouldn't be having so many problems. Why are you having issues over what you give to relatives? Do you advertise it? How would you feel if your sister focused only on your shortcomings? You didn't write a single positive about her in this thread, is this how you are off line? Why do you feel that you have a right to meddle in her affairs, raising her was your duty as an older sister but it doesn't give you ownership over her. She needs to find her own path, make her own decisions, mistakes.. Or she'll be some little (or big) dhoongo that keeps running back to you with every little problem.

 

I don't mean to be so harsh on you walaalo. I just think that sometimes you need to look within to find solutions to problems.

 

Sisters are one of the sweetest blessings from Allah. I hope you do get over this and enjoy your sisterhood. Insha Allah.

Blessed i litrally blamed my selv for every single dispute between us. I thought i was over protective, dominating and an irritating bossy sister, and tried to change my approach, but, it was all the same. Deep inside me i knew, i was not the whole cause of the problem, neither is she. there are two sides to a coin isn't it? but we were very good freinds and we communicated well until she maried. you may think i meddled in her affairs but NO, i didn't, it was our family who contacted me coz they knew the husband was not worth the struggle and thet tought i beeing her good freind would change her mind, i called her and told her it was not a good idea, i still strongly believe it was abig mistake but it was her decision and i respected it from the start but as a sister who herself survived a long distance marriage, i had to tell her what she was getting herself into. guess experiance is the best teacher for her and me now.

 

You also say do you advertise what u do for the family, well may be u do not have a large extended family but families talk and talk alot. you send 100 bucks to someone and it is like gabadhii duca qabtada ahayd baa lacag isoo dirtay.sponsering someone,helping a family member open a certain bussiness, buying cars so they could sustaing themselves and those kind of things never go unnoticed. i wish they would but they dont.i also dont see that as sadaqo rather and obligation. marka walaasheey i have tortured my selv before, what i need now is not some one judging me and i needed a sound advice. i got some wonderful ones from many. but thanks for trying.

[Faynuus]

also, the topic was not about our qualities, rather our trouble and i mentioned what our trouble was but my sister and every sister has good qualities. If i saw nothing good in her, i would not seek advice and be worried about her wellbeing. I love her, she is my sister but sometimes teenage sisters are just monsters u may think. you can't imagine how sweet she is markay ruuxaameheeda joogaan. lol.but iam really thinking that her husband may be the cause just like Hunguri mentioned.

 

I see good even in him and i do resent him for how mistreated her but he is aslo my cousin and i care abt him in way. waa nin buufis ku dhacay but all i want to feel for any man who mistreats a young girl/woman is HATE him and i can't hate him apparently.

[Valenteenah.]

Faynuus, I hope you and your sister can overcome this difficult period, I'A. I wish you all the best.

[Blessed]

Wow Faynuus,

 

I was not attacking you or meaning to offend. I like to be sincere and frankly I'm not great at mincing my words. Sorry, I came off too strong.

 

I'll say it again, all the best. Salaams.

[Crystal_Clear]

The best lesson to life is to learn things the hard way. believe me..let your sister get a taste of real life.Kick her butt to the curve! give her fews years,promise you she will come back to you and ask you forgiveness.