Saxarla’a And Saxardeed’s Anticlimactic Hour

[Gediid]

For those single people dreaming of that big wedding in a fancy hotel.....

One thing I think the author forgot to mention is the lil flower girl who always look bored and the over done bride with a groom with a Tux that always looks a size too big for him.And oh yes the cutting of the cake always ends up with both bride and groom getting more than they can chew on......

 

 

Saxarla’a And Saxardeed’s Anticlimactic Hour

 

Rhoda A. Rageh, 06 January, 2005

 

 

They have been planning for this magnificent moment for nearly a year. Its illusion of course cannot be underrated as the fusion of two distinct individuals especially when observed symbolically as being the initial step to a new life. However, the modernity, verve and zest surrounding this hour have been anything but the image of stability and harmony. From the deepest recesses at home to the most sophisticated hotels in the West, Saxarla’s and Saxardeed’s hour seems to share one sad character with the rest: chaos.

 

 

One wonders if chaos is an inherent gene? Is chaos an intrinsic cultural aspect? Isn’t it time groups reflect at their chaotic wedding in an examination of deeper problem at home? Or is the difficulty with the imitation of something that isn’t familiar to the best of them. Saxarla’s and Saxardeed’s bathetic wedding reception demonstrates lack of discipline that snatches the limelight from the thing itself. Months of planning advertised this wedding well before it happened, which has built the emotions of those involved into destructive energy. Superficially the wedding imitate western model until the moment arrived.

 

On the night of the wedding, it is hard to believe that anything was planned. Bewildered Saxarla’ glides into the reception dragging along her clumsy white dress like the Chinese dragon, exposing those places that were supposed to be covered while half of the dress flows on the floor like a river. Tethered in her own design, she totters into the hall in the hands of a vague groom amidst relatives and friends who forever bustle in front and all around them like bees in a beehive. Young more baffled flower girls and ring bearers carrying bulky baskets, zigzag along the path of the bride and groom, surprisingly encouraging more volunteers to exacerbate the crowd around the newlyweds. As cacophonous supposedly well wishing cries of African/Arabic or English origin usher them into the reception hall, few ululations cut through like the whistle of a referee against a serious violation. From the blush wallpaper illuminated by fabulous chandeliers to the posh white tables cloths accentuated with pink, purple or green trimmings everything seems immaculately designed until they arrive. Chaos reigns from the moment they step out of the limousine and all that conscious planning becomes devastated when the irrational asserts its grip. Saxarla’ and Saxardeed step onto a dazzling stage with two chairs clearly for them but neither they nor their volunteers seem sure of where the newlyweds should sit.

 

Saxarla’ clumsily slumps into one of the chairs then changes seats with Saxardeed while the social bees bumble up and down the stage to strengthen her dress or wipe sweat from her eyebrow. Almost one third of the guests suddenly become helpers, and decisions from how the newlyweds should hold hands to where and how they should cut the cake happen spontaneously on the spot. Should they drink from the two separate glasses or rather, more romantically, from two straws in the same glass creates a tussle. Must greet guests competing to shake the couples hands compel the newlyweds into backward and sideward glances threatening the veil and the artistic hairstyle. One wonders if the manner and method of greeting guests wasn’t in the planning but then one assumes something as important as the grand entrance was planned in advance. Why can’t anyone seem to know what to do at the moment of truth? “Watch out for these bumble bees. I am afraid they will trip me,†whispers Fay to her mother thinking about her upcoming wedding.

 

From lack of order or too much of it, Saxarla’ and Saxardeed are ushered up the stage then to the dance floor for strange and infamous waltz. After few mumbles of the holy Qur’an read hastily and often imperfectly, the stage opens for a disco like festivity beginning with the newlyweds.

 

“When in our culture did the bride and groom dance on their wedding?†Whispers an old guest to her neighbour who dismisses her with a gesture. Then comes the equally infamous cake. This odd cake cutting tradition never lacks unhelpful directors who frustrate the bride and groom. In spite of a knife in a conspicuous place and the hope that the newlyweds might have an idea what to do with it, helpers move the knife upward and around in ritualistic mode before they allow them to cut the cake. One wonders why wasn’t this rehearsed before? Waiters in starched uniform observe stiffly in shocking silence as more guests than they can feed flow into the hall. They stand spellbound wondering of whom to serve and whom to ignore since there is no indication of who is invited or who is a guest of a guest. Guests straddling around to greet long lost friends create more traffic in an already crowded hall. All in the middle of unusually loud music, which though of African origin has metamorphosed into something peculiar. At least some African words offer comic relief in this tragic event until it is time for a cultural dance.

 

This beautifully rhythmic cultural expression has been reduced to a messy strings of songs rendered a wail through a horrendous microphone combined with some unsynchronized jumps which are followed by few negotiations that goes on and off for a few minutes until they abandon the idea itself. Unfortunately, the culture represented by this disorganized dance is deserted immediately like the rest of traditional values. The beauty of Africa’s famous drum never exudes from this traditional dance and yet the sole beat of the drum moved mountains in the continent. “Are we incapable of holding on to the thing dearest to us?†Cries a plump lady whose impromptu moves landed her on a chair nearby.

 

Western wedding is planned to the minuscule detail. Rehearsals with all parties concerned are routine practice before the wedding. Guests come dressed appropriately not to steal the spotlight from the bride. Most of all, the bride in her chosen dress must have made attempts to be comfortable with it. Even for the people, who invented it, if they have to dance, practise the waltz quite well. Nothing is perfect without practice so why does this crowd imitate something unfamiliar to them and hope everything to be perfect without practice.

 

In spite of these frantic scenes, the marriage goes on, but one wonders about the process that led up to this disarray. Clearly a lot of energy has been exerted to have an immaculate wedding not to mention enormous amounts of money. If irrationality rules as a way of life, why can’t the young couple save their energy and money to enjoy a disco style dance before going off to a relaxing honeymoon? It seems unfair for Saxarla’s and Saxardeed’s debut to appear more like a street fight than a planned wedding reception. They deserve better. Should the most sacred Qur’an be trivialized to introduce things prohibited by its injunctions? Should guests not remain guests as a matter of courtesy in this tragicomedy?

 

Rhoda A. Rageh

[checkmate]

Saxarla’ clumsily slumps into one of the chairs then changes seats with Saxardeed while the social bees bumble up and down the stage to strengthen her dress or wipe sweat from her eyebrow.

Almost one third of the guests suddenly become helpers,

and decisions from how the newlyweds should hold hands to where and how they should cut the cake happen spontaneously on the spot. Should they drink from the two separate glasses or rather, more romantically, from two straws in the same glass creates a tussle. Must greet guests competing to shake the couples hands compel the newlyweds into backward and sideward glances threatening the veil and the artistic hairstyle. One wonders if the manner and method of greeting guests wasn’t in the planning but then one assumes something as important as the grand entrance was planned in advance. Why can’t anyone seem to know what to do at the moment of truth? “Watch out for these bumble bees. I am afraid they will trip me,â€

whispers Fay to her mother thinking about her upcoming wedding.

LooooL So true Yet so Funny

 

I'll make certain that this doesn't happen on my second wedding we can't bring back the past can we? whats done is done!

 

thanx gediid...

 

 

asxantu

[dawoco]

^^tut tut, focus on the first, that way u avoid the costs of a second wedding

 

 

Somali weddings never turn out the way the vride wants to, often causing rifts between hubby who wants a quiet cerimony and wify who wants everything from satin custom made dress to freshly grounded roses. Of course, that is before the girl's family get involved and take over the organisation, making the bride as unhappy as the groom. Somehow it is a dreamday for everyone but the two people getting married.

 

I always say, if u want to have fun at a wedding, be a guest and never a bride/groom

[Gediid]

^^Well said Dawoco.

Checkmate ragna tii horey weli la'yihiin adna tu labaad baad ka sheekeyneysaa...Rag kala war la'aa

[Blessed]

Dear Lord, I thought only Londoners suffered doom at their weddings. Every wedding I've been to in the past two years or so apart from the 2 wadaad ones were as disastrous as the one described.

 

 

*I’ve to agree with the writer, you can’t expect Allah to bless something clearly forbidden.

 

Anyways, Gediid and gang...

 

How do you plan to wed?

[Warrior of Light]

Guess its high time for a Somali wedding organisor/coordinator to hit the spotlight and put things into order. Qn is are there any Somalis with that qualification available???????

 

Our people really dont love the discipline and the straineous work that comes with it , the rehearsals,planning. And when the event comes everyone wants to be responsible even when the extra hand isnt needed.

 

I have witnessed few somali weddings.One which I still highly regard as "per excellence" was held back home in Tanzania. The family had the normal gelbiska done at home. The wedding ceremony/ reception was held at a hotel. The bride was dressed in Somali attire and the Groom likewise. The entered with no fuss and sat on some loft sofas. Silence prevailed. Then the MC introduced in somali , swahili and english and read out the plan of the wedding , sometimes youve got 2 read it out aloud for people to stick to it.

Anyway, they did it traditionally the Mukumadah ceremony not sure if its correct spelling - the tiny miny peices of c@mel meat wrapped in a container concealed in another outer leather container looking like an hour glass which has been wrapped up by strings .Had men try to open it. Those who failed got asked qns in somali, some sang some read gabay was fun really.And the MC tried to translate so the guests could get an idea of whats going on.

And the greatest part was it was properly organised.People did dance and had a chance to greet the new couple n take snaps.

 

I beleive everything is possible.We need just a little touch of organisation skills and an understanding from our families that when you say no to their offers you mean No.Hope they -couple dont have members who hold grudges though. Family have to respect those you as a couple choosed to handle the work. And as for the couple they will have 2 learn to let go. Naturally at any wedding faults are found.

Its living the moment which is Important.