wardi Posted July 5, 2003 a man take cares his family,he works,do laundry,do grocery,pay bills,helps wife's family in back home , sometime to her brother,takes children to doctor appointments, all the time she accuses her husband that he doesn't give her anything, check this out she goes to near by clothing store she gets what she wants and the bill goes to me,the lady owens that shop she knows me,,,,the wife swears often time,she even called my childrens ( *****o)she often times say i used to earn my money, you don't give my family nothing,,,,wallaahi her family collects the bill every 1st of the month while mine collects around 7th of each month..i am fed up of accusation cannot take anymore thining d word what du suggest Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaabir Posted July 5, 2003 Family problems can really get frustrating sometimes. Waalaahi I feel you saxib wardi. I am at work now.. I will write you from home insha alaah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QUEEN EYES Posted July 6, 2003 hi wardi.. nice name by the way ,bro i feel sorry for u but don't give up easy mariage is hard thing what u need to do is samir sweaty and tell her what is in u'r mind coz it is all about honest and trust each other so plzzzzzzzz be patient and open minded. some women are more qarash than the other one so maybe she is one of those ,talk to her in a calm way ,tell her that u doing all u can and she needs to help u whatever problem is in u'r mariage. hope u work it out and wish u the best bro.one more thing if she thinks that u not giving her enough money tell her to get job coz nin walba sacabadiisa ayuu oga dharga biyo and for u babysit the kids while she is working comprmise that is all it takes. hope i help u little .... bye wardi.....what name... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted July 6, 2003 Originally posted by OG_Girl: lol@wardi, i am sorry but i have to ask u his? If u r married what u doing here ? why u don't take time with her and ur kids? looooool@og girl whatm about you're self? Wardi i feel sorry fo' ya brotha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted July 6, 2003 Originally posted by OG_Girl: lol@wardi, i am sorry but i have to ask u his? If u r married what u doing here ? why u don't take time with her and ur kids? looooool@og girl what about you're self? Wardi i feel sorry fo' ya brotha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted July 6, 2003 wardi, go to yr local masjid and speak to the Imam if u have no other family members who can give advice! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wardi Posted July 6, 2003 thnk u queen eyes that was honest advice and so the rest of you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
proudson Posted July 6, 2003 take her to the local masjid, and get sheikh to wacdi her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaabir Posted July 6, 2003 Brother Wardi.. Your concern is not only legitimate, but also an act of a good and thoughtful husband who cares enough about his family. Assuming no other issues (though there often are), "your problem" has at least three facets requiring immediate attention: 1) You need to set up an open and honest dialogue with your wife. Sit her down and kindly show her where your family is heading. Tell her about all the financial burdens her senseless shopping spree’s implicated up on you all. Resonate with her the fact that money and materials are not more important than your divine relationship as husband and wife. what is necessary here is to make her feel sensible to your needs and show her how what she is doing is disturbing you, before anything. 2) Explain to her that her back home family’s salvation is equally important to you as your own. However the financial situation you are in may not enable your to adequately support both families. Therefore both of you must come to terms with an action plan where you can support them while putting your family’s salvation first. 3) You need to seriously ask her to stop calling you and your kids names. Its so unethical for a wife to swear at her husband and accuse him in front of others. explain to her that to men, a mental and verbal abuse from a wife is as painful as a physical abused to women. Also let her know that you are considering this issue serious enough to put your marriage on notice. that if there is no substantial and sustained change in her behavior towards you, you will actually initiate the proceedings for divorce. You should not make this sound like a threat but rather state the matter as a possible cause for ending your marrige. Only Allah knows best what is in your heart so don’t be discouraged by the people around you. and let me appeal to you to try and start all over again, be honest, upfront and sincere. your wife has some concerns that need to be met too. Check yourself. Are you fulfilling her needs? Are you keeping her happy? Don’t be selfish. I do understand how difficult it is to be with a disrespectful and self centered partner (wife/husband). Just fight off Shaydaanka and his suggestions and Allah will reward you for your sincere efforts in keeping this family intact and grant you what is best for your family and future. And Allah knows best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wardi Posted July 6, 2003 darmaan.thanks brother we talked many times about this,only allah knows what the out come will be.. i know i have to have sabar and think 2 kids future.,,,,,,,,,,,,thanks any way that was long advice Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted July 6, 2003 Patience is the key thing walaalo...I know it's easier said than done but have some faith, and Insha'Allah Allah will reward you for it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adna Posted July 7, 2003 salaama calykum wardi wallkiis I really feel sorry for ur familly walaakiis may allah will reward you for hard work ur doing for ur familly. marka bro just explain to her the fact that u're trying todo ur best. i will pray for you may allah will except cuz ducaa'ul qayb waa la'aqbalaa.. much love to ya'all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wardi Posted July 7, 2003 thanks asraa iyo nafiso Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
