Xalimopatra Posted October 18, 2006 U know when hebel always told a reluctant heblayo he wants to marry her but it seems like Mr Confident is not so confident anymore when he notices Miss reluctant is not so reluctant and is actually feeling the same way&is thinking of making sacrifices/arrangements so that they can tie the knot?!....Goodness forbid.... :rolleyes: Wusses,the lot of 'em....... P.s SORAAY for striking up a cheesy post in Ramadhan but sisters feel free to vent without mentioning names,swear words ect...Lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted October 18, 2006 Lol. No fun if we're not to mention names. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted October 18, 2006 LoL XP, yeah they can be very slippery creatures sometimes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JUSTICE Posted October 18, 2006 what u on about. It's kind of familiar. it happend before hmmmmmm. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted October 19, 2006 "Marriage the grave of all hopes" such statement was uttered by a good mate the other day whilist we were painting my flat; I never engaged him by what he meant by that-- may be a reflection on one of our mate's predicament. This marriage thing is daunting you know; taking the responblity of another being (talks, walks, gets sick, needs to be fed, clothed, educated, taken to holidays, giving children, building home to mentioned but a few)! so you can understand our not so over excitement to take up the offer on you guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted October 19, 2006 Marriage is a blessing. Men who shy away from comittments arent worth losing sleep over. Cos in their twisted mind, they think it is all take take take, without realising the giving nature of a lady. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted October 19, 2006 Cambaro; read couple your writings on these boards, it seems as though you are a rare breed indeed. We all want to be in a relationship that is well defined-- I don't mind giving giving giving and more giving so long as the recipient don’t become wholly obeisant which tends to happen: afwax cunay xishoo. Laakiin, traditionally (Somalia where this was inescapable due to economic conditions) men were obligated to take care of the family literally; they have fulfilled their dutieswithout fail. Everything these days were based on needs. But now we found ourselves in west were though one can provide the needs of his family (if he keeps in mind not to breed like a rabbit) but satiating needs aren’t enough any more. There are WANTS that dress themselves as needs and they are ever growing stupendously. Plasma TVS, Private Schools, DB9 cars, latest Jaboutian Dirac or worse Vivien Westwood dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes are now some of the wants that are becoming a need. This what keeps some men a bit afraid to cross that bridge; we r not all fund managers, footballers, TV executives, Traders, High flying consultants, illustrious doctors etc. Marka waa kaase kasheekee!. Marriage isn't simple as it use to be; at least not in the west. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted October 19, 2006 Walaal Sophist we do have new breed (somali men and women in the west) on our hands and the situation is far from clear cut. You are correct in saying that marriage aint what it used to be. Life was simple then. A while back, i asked a family friend how her husband Jaamac was, and she replied 'Adigu lama aad socotid waxba, Jaamac waxaa ka danbeeyey labo odey'. Her kids must be confused as hell. Nowadays marriage has no value, except materially. One way to filter the gold-digger from the genuine article is to tell her that you are broke but willing to work hard to provide for her to the best of your ability. He could also say " By the by, we will have simple nikah where few odey and sheekh will attend"...See what she says. If she makes a fuss, show her the door. I had very simple wedding and so did my brother. In fact only 10people attended. I recall one of my aunts saying " Alle ba'aayey ninka wey jeceshahay, naa ninka ayaa wax walba bixiyee, keep your money". This was after they suggested that i have the wedding at Hilton! It was most satisfying and problem-free wedding we had in our big family and lovely honeymoon in Portugal followed. There are also men who can not committ and lets face it, it is partly because of our women. We made everything easy for them. It is the new generation: identity crises. My mom always used to warn me about the dangers of men taking advantage and how they almost dont mean what they say when they are courting you. This got me a wee bit paranoid however it stood me in good stead eventually. Marriage can succeed when both parties are on the same level. They have the same understanding and same goals. The same values which should guide their approach to building a stronger family: i.e How to instill family values in children. Obviusly this will be hard, given the fact that the couple may have 2 completely different upbringing and background. The key to this kind of relationship is compromising and respecting each other's opinions. and...finally never go to bed angry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted October 19, 2006 Originally posted by Cambarro: I had very simple wedding and so did my brother. In fact only 10people attended. I recall one of my aunts saying " Alle ba'aayey ninka wey jeceshahay, naa ninka ayaa wax walba bixiyee, keep your money". This was after they suggested that i have the wedding at Hilton! It was most satisfying and problem-free wedding we had in our big family and lovely honeymoon in Portugal followed. Very satisfying indeed, Somali weddings are never hassle free, but congrats walaal.Iam glad you didn't burden yourself by going into debt with 20K wedding. It seems our people don't think or plan beyond the wedding night and...finally never go to bed angry An excellent advise. I can't be next to person Iam angry at. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted October 19, 2006 And you are shining star in a dark universe! Masha Allah Happy for your and envious of you hubby Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted October 19, 2006 Cambarro i agree. I always feel sorry for the groom and bride, not to mention their poor family. XP I could not agree more, Possible cold feet or the old case of we always want what we can't have, If we have it we don't want it anymore, or at least not so keen on it anymore. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted October 19, 2006 Originally posted by Sophist: And you are shining star in a dark universe! Masha Allah Happy for your and envious of you hubby I have a sister You wont be out of pocket Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted October 19, 2006 ^^ This sister of yours, waa qulama? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted October 19, 2006 Originally posted by Che-Guevara: Iam glad you didn't burden yourself by going into debt with 20K wedding. It seems our people don't think or plan beyond the wedding night [/qb] I think it depends on the lady you are marrying as peer pressure (unbelievable i know) is a factor. It also depends on the pressure from family. If one is strong enough to stand up to them and the bride herself is conscious of value of money (given our circumstances as Somalis), it will be a breeze and blessed union. Ever heard of "maalinteyda waaye" whatever happened to other days in your life? Surely they count! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted October 19, 2006 MR NGO She is from the fish & chips clan. Would that do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
