confused sistah need advise

[Castro]

Originally posted by Modesty:

I think the most you should wait for a person before marriage is 2 years, more than that, you are acting like galo and wasting precious egg time.

You're wise beyond your years atheer. I certainly wouldn't let anyone waste my precious egg time. Priceless advice indeed.

[Pucca]

I think the most you should wait for a person before marriage is 2 years, more than that, you are acting like galo and wasting precious egg time.

i agree with you on the whole 2 year thing...but waste precious egg time?? hmm...i'd have to say that would probably only apply to folks who's bio clock is tickin at a mad rate ...

[NGONGE]

Two years is TOO LONG a period. Say two weeks, dear. You should be able to learn all you need by talking to someone daily on the phone for two full weeks. That's 14 days. Four hours a day phone conversations. Heck! You would actually either get sick of the person after such a 'long' time of knowing them or you would love them so much that you want to marry them. If you can't make your mind up in two weeks, you shall not make it up in ten years says I.

 

Now go forth and multiply.

[Castro]

^ Insensitive men. :rolleyes:

 

Originally posted by Pucca:

...but waste precious egg time?? hmm...i'd have to say that would probably only apply to folks who's bio clock is tickin at a mad rate ...

You're mistaken atheer. The rate of the ticking clock is the same at the start (with the first egg) and at the end at about 4 weeks per egg. What Modestly probably means by her statement is that over 5 years, the lady in question will have expended upwards of 65 eggs waiting for this dude to make up his bloody mind. And when you consider the entire time she's able to produce any eggs, 5 years is about 20% of the total, assuming she's able to produce them between the ages of 15 and 40, give or take a few years. Even worse, it is likely that during those five years (her late teens to her middle and late twenties), the quality of the eggs is at its highest. And quality here refers to, all else being equal, reduced risk of miscarriage, less defective embryos, etc..

 

So in a nutshell, and minus the Biology lesson everyone knows and I didn't really have to repeat, Modesty hit the nail on the head. It was a waste of "precious egg time". As opposed to being a waste of just regular egg time.

[Pucca]

i see...

 

 

okay.

[me]

ok PERDY, Hear this sis,

 

Follow your heart, do not listen to these people. They got their own problems and cant solvethem either. This whole love/relationship stuff is too complicated. Just do as you see fit, these people will only make you more confused. Never ask people who dont know you for advice.

 

I hope yousolve this issue. Good luck sis and remmember there is nothing better then a broken heart. The only way to feel completein this worldis to have your heart broken in a severe way. Every song will start to make sense, food will taste better, you will feel alive again, you will feel like you have woken up from a coma. So just do as you see fot and remmember dont ask for advice.

[Baluug]

Preedy......Are you married to this guy? Cuz if you're not, then just leave him alone. He knows he's doing something haraam, so maybe he thinks "why not some more haraam?" and go out with some other girl. Because after all, dating is HARAAM!!!!! You've been with this guy for 5 years, since you were 15, so that makes you 20 years old, and I think it would be a safe assumotion to say you guys aren't married. After all, you're waiting for him to call you, which means you don't live together. Forget him, and for God's sake get married to a man who will treat you right and not try to avoid you.

[UrSisterInIslam]

Bismilah

Asalamalikum Preedy

 

Dear Sister, I just wanted to remind you that committing zina is horrible sin in Islam and that you should start repenting while you are still breathing and living. There will come a day when you will have to face your lord, please don't wait until that day.

 

I also advice you to turn back to your beautiful religion. Believe me there is nothing else in this world, whether human or otherwise that can offer you the peace and tranquility that Islam can.

 

This man has not done you anything good. He took your honour and dignity. and voilated you as a woman. So please try to forget him, and fear Allah.

 

Allah has warned us in the Quraan about Zina, it's considered a grave sin, and breads very scarry punishments here on earth and the hereafter if one doesn't repent from it.

 

Repentance from Zina

 

Ibn Abbaas (RAA) said: There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it.

 

So if one wants to repent from having made the great sin of Zina he should remember these 4 things..

 

1) Do not despair, for Allah the Most Exalted and Glorified said in the Quran "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, for Allah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [surah 39, Verse 53]

 

2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones.

 

3)If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste man or woman.

 

4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to Allah the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.