Buubto Posted March 11, 2005 Ay-kutubey hala kutubin runta say it as it is, don't hesitate to tell her / him the truth. Just on the record u should be concern about Allah's reaction towards this satiation rather than what other human beings might preserve you. Either move out or stop the spouse coming over. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawoco Posted March 11, 2005 I think that if she is a friend she will be open to the discussion and understand the reasons behind any decisions made regarding the living arrangements. A girl's rep is valued more than her life by some. Our girls can't afford to risk damaging it, not even for our friends, cos we will b the ones that are scorned for it. Specially having tongues wagging because of what a friend did and ppl questioning a character on that term, just not worth the hassle me thinks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
checkmate Posted March 11, 2005 ay kutubeey runta la kutub and tell your friend/roommate to get with my friends/roommates. ooh yeah tell the family member to mind their own BIZNIZ... serious note: tell the concerned party to do the right thing. asxantu Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 11, 2005 If I was in the situation I would be at a cross road of two lifestyles Consider the 2 lifestyles: 1) I live by the ongoing social standards. I accept other people will do things that are not OK with me and I think thats thier problem not mine. it's fairly normal to have a bf/gf spend the night even though I won't do it myself. 2) I live by the same standards I was raised and I will immediately voice opposition to anything I believe to be wrong. I'd rather be myself and have other either respect me or despise me for my principles rather than keep those principles to myself for fear of being a social outcast or thought to be old fashioned. In this scenario, I would be in a dilemma where I chose lifestyle #1 for my roommate and lifestyle #2 for my family. Now I could probably find a quick fix and tell stories to simplify the issue to both parties. However, I would be wise to disregard the roommate, the family member, the media and the world and then focus on who I am and which set of social principles I am willing to make a stand for. It would be hypocritical to try and play for both teams, so I will either present my roommate with the reasoning as to why his/her practise is immoral and wrong and ask them to rectify the situation... OR... tell my family member to get with the program, accept social norms and stop using the played-out archaic morality, it's 2005 not 1955 I can't have it both ways at some point I will have to choose. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LayZie G. Posted March 11, 2005 plz don't personalize this....its really not my issue aight hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha, I don't believe you Kutubeey. Are you positive that u aren't involved in this lil fiasco, Kutubeey? It seems to me that you are the roommate with the significant other visiting the apt. You probably sensed that your roommate will be having discussion with you real soon, so you probably wrote this lil piece to get an idea on what to tell her when you are confronted by her or something?(j/k.....I am just messing with u.) On a serious note, this whole thing u cooked up is a joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 11, 2005 very simple u should have a rule u and ur roomate.. and one of them should be no bf or gf sleeping over for both of us.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J.Lee Posted March 11, 2005 The said family member might already think the girl is of questionable reputation for living outside of her parents house whilst she is unmarried, assuming of course that she isn't married, regardless of the reason why whether it be school, work etc so if the girl is worried about her rep. then sadly it might already be in tatters so there really isn't a problem if you think about and no other solution for it hadn't bothered her before than to keep things as they are. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Almas Posted March 11, 2005 I don't think its that big of an issue abayo, you were respectful to your room mate before. So if you have a problem now hopefully they will be respectful to you. I think its all on how you approach your room-mate, if your honest and respectful inshallah she will be too...but if she isn't give her and her significant otha hell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted March 11, 2005 Naa Kutubeey maantana ma sheekadanaa la soo shir tagtay? Now that aunty moved next door, boyfriend has to stop sleeping over? Girl you'r setting yourself up for a big chick fight. I'd say Pack your kastuumoyin, and find another roommate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted March 12, 2005 Not making judgment or assumptions here …. But, there is a flip side to this supposedly ‘life style’ objection, Its obvious, weren’t for the family moving close, roommate's significant other wouldn’t be an issue. This scenario sure isn’t isolated, most of us feel obliged to put up good/honorable provado’ among our peers and family, while we act and behave differently otherwise. What is acceptable to a person’s character/value’s shouldn’t change, regardless of their family living next door, or half a world a part. Upholding set of principles/value’s and how a person is viewed by a community are two mutually exclusive choices, the latter being opted by the most pll, since it could in-tale being an outcast. Didn’t mean to criticize, since there was an advice been asked: So, when you finally decide to confront the roommate, I say be prepare to reply when the roommate questions your perceived ‘reputation’. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Garyaqaan2 Posted March 12, 2005 however now you have family member that moved closed by and you don't want them to see what's going on cuz that can give you bad rep... as they say " you are who you associate with or how your friends are". walaahiis adigaaba dhameeyay. however now you have family member that moved closed by and you don't want them to see what's going on cuz that can give you bad rep ^^^^^sis who ever said that satatment above have very good imaan, If the person have iman like that respecting family members. I dout if they will afreid to tell the truth If you now what I mean.! very easy let the person say hey hey hey STOP It. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juba Posted March 12, 2005 'bout ur little q just sit down and have a talk with ur freind/roomate How hard can that be when u know her that well. But its a difficult thing to ask of a person, " get ur boyfriend out!" im pretty sure ur just gonna have to move out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emperor Posted March 12, 2005 Acuudu bilaaahi mina shaydaami rajiiimi Ar waxaan kadareey waaye beeeee Ar aniga waa xishoonaa arintaaneeyto kama hadli kari Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 15, 2005 I'd say Pack your kastuumoyin, and find another roommate. a bit too explicit sis.. x rated stuff.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
