Som@li Posted August 16, 2005 Hi there; Around seven months ago,A friend of mine,28,was suppose to get married, to a beautiful Somali girl,she was yound,25,and she was good masha Allah, and they have been dating 4 almost 3 years. Anyways, she asked him to contact his family, as usual, and he called his father, uncles, cousins, and friends,and a date was set for formal Doonidii. We went to the girl’s house, and were welcomed warmly, and we all went to the living room, beautifully decorated. After shaah, some sweets, and some jokes, the boy’s uncle started, and, said the traditional staff. But, everything did not go as planned, something happen, one of the guys from girl’s family, said, The girl has a sister, older than her, and it is not our custom to let marry the younger one first, But since u ar such and such, We can let him marry the older one. (waxaan idin siinay gabadha wayn!!). That was a day! My Q is how would you feel if your younger sis is ready to get married, and finds her soul mate? Would your family accept it? Or, it would be like the above situation. And if you’re the younger sis, what would you do? Please Discuss.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted August 16, 2005 ooouuucc. They come for my sister and I get offered? If I were her, I'd slaughter the guy(for not making clear he was DYING for ME). I'd torch my lot for offering me so casually and throw up. They can use my vomit to put out their flaming macawis. Edited cause I sounded schizo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mafia Posted August 16, 2005 ouch! this is a real delima. My view is that the girl's family, above all, has made an enormous mistake in putting their older girl into strange predicament, as well as showed disrespect to both of the married-to-be couples. This might have been acceptable in 1905, but I cannot beleive it occuring 2005. Had they made the offer before Doonida, I guess it wouldn't be as strange. Now, I wonder what happened after that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Castro Posted August 16, 2005 Is marrying both open as an option? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BORN_BRANIAC Posted August 16, 2005 I have a Younger sister, and i will be happy for her if she got married b4 me...it's called Nacib, see it meant to be that she go first, so i should be happy for her.. ps. hey what happen did ur friend marry the older sister? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacpher Posted August 16, 2005 This must be the strangest thing ever happened to the guy. I have heard waa loo diiday but never tan weyn guurso. I guest the family didn't want the older sister to be gablan (no offense). I don't want to say anything negative about the family but these kinds of practices are outdated specially the Somali communities abroad. I think the finally story could be that the guy turned down the offer which is what anyone of us would do, thus leaving both sisters back to square one. If that’s the case, is it possible the family didn't really wanted the guy to marry their daughter? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted August 16, 2005 yea...sounds like something thats present in my family. my uncle refused to let my cousin marry cause her older sister wasn't married; the thing is though the older one wasn't ready and just wasn't feeling the marriage thing. Well my uncle turned down every dude that came for my cousin and her older sister casually dated. Now the younger one is getting married because she's like 25 and refuses to wait around and grow old. i guess the reason for all of this is because my uncle (along with others) believed if the younger sister gets married first...the chances for the older one gettin married are less. *sigh* odd beliefs. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted August 16, 2005 Its a shame really, but heard it still continues. Im the eldest and I would be honoured to have my younger sister get married before me,if she has found her soul mate. Its what Allah has destined for her, and I will wait for my own. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted August 16, 2005 My Q is how would you feel if your younger sis is ready to get married, and finds her soul mate? Would your family accept it? Or, it would be like the above situation. And if you’re the younger sis, what would you do? I never knew people would care this littlethings!!. We learn new things everyday. what about if the elder sister doesn't want to marry for some reason? Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazra Posted August 17, 2005 I believe this is an old tradition not an Islamic belief. I know in my family usually the younger sista/brotha gets married first. And no one minds. Sista's tend to have discussion about this topic once they know the time is near to leave the house. And in my family we already have...not long ago. Personally I wouldn't mind my younger sista getting married before me. And I have already given her the green light 2 go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pujah Posted August 17, 2005 I feel sorry for the ladies in the story, it is a shame really. That the younger one cannot marry the man of her dreams and the other one is being offered to any farax just so she can be out of the way. Seriously if that was my family and I was offered to the guy that wanted my lil sis I would have murdered someone. WHAT A SHAME, I CANT BELIEVE THAT KIND OF MENTALITY STILL EXISTS :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted August 17, 2005 i feel this brothers pain! but he made the wrong move...he went into a sitting room with them & didnt even get down on his kness! what waste... u see, u gotta have the power/upperhand before u sit in any table or u be toast!! cheers.. how about taking these guys 4 a nite on the town and dine/bargeey them! start some where but dont go there like a begger!! or u be toast again! if that dont work, sent the mother a good ole repectable lady and do the right thing! throw them a party!! u be surprised how lil greasing solves a whollata problems! but sending 2 cluless faraax will make your nitemare come true! been there done that!! i fired mine on the spot and smooched the ole sista!! do u know how dinners i took her to u!! she must have gained 20lbs!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted August 17, 2005 this is PUL$HIT ,,,, i thought this culture has gone ,,,, is it back again ???? what is da relationship between the older one and da young one ??? if the older one is not ready or doesn't have her QADAR or CALAF yet ,,, why da younger one is suppose to wait ?? u never finished da story ,,,,,, what happened then ,,, did he accept da older one ??? i it is me ,,, i would take my LOVE and marry her in another place ,,,,,, forget about this Fu*kin' family ,,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muhammad Posted August 17, 2005 interesting subject indeed! I'm more interested in understanding how this custom came into being in our culture? what is the reason behind this, is it because they believe it is a bad luck for the older one i.e. she won't be able to find a husband, or will it be a bad luck for the younger one? or is from respect? Sidee ku yimi dhaqankani? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted August 17, 2005 Boy...that family is living in a different century. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
