Break-Ups

[Chocolate and Honey]

Hi girls! First of all Happy Late EID MUBARAK! I hope you all had a wonderful EID. My friends and are were talking about the subject of break-ups the other day. And most of them completely dismissed the pain and agony one goes through after breaking up with someone they truly loved for one reason or another :rolleyes: . Now, most of us have been through rough break ups and I know most of my friends were devastated when that happened even though it was hard for them to admit that they missed the person or that still hoped things to work out. It was always like “he is just a man or there are better ones out there” which never really explored the issue or offered any comfort to the person who was suffering. So my question is, have you ever felt a devastating loss after a break up? Now, girls I know we were raised to never cry for a man but who are we kidding? Please share your story if you feel comfortable and be honest.

I will be back later to share mine.

[True2truth]

Aaah .. the hardship of breakups.

A breakup becomes a problem when one forgets the most important piece that brought them to the other individual, which is love. And I believe if you truly loved that being than that love will also help in releasing any pain caused by losing them. So I strongly argue people who are facing such prospective is to focus on the love part of their ex-relationship and how Allah privileged them to go through such wonderful journey.

 

Also a little advise to those who are facing the love journey. Stay away from Somali men. I kid you not but these men should be tested for the alien/inhuman gene! Because NOTHING they have done thus so far demonstrate that they belong to the human race! All they are good for is killing each other!

[Ms DD]

Get together, break up, move on to another. If you truly wanna get over from break up, get togother with another. It works.

[nuune]

^^ lol@MS DD, waxan dhan waa mayac garoor

[Nephissa]

This breaking-up thing sucks. The first time it happened [13 years ago], I would sit at the end of my bed and eat candy a-l-l night. .

 

It does make you wonder sometimes, if love is worth all the pain.

[Malika]

^ , They say pain isn't love, the pain must stem from somewhere else masking it self as pain out of loving someone, it could be one is hurt by the rejection,abandonment, loneliness and anger at themselves.

 

Honey&Choco, indeed we are told never to cry over a man,but our mothers forgot we are human. It sure does hurt, I went through a period in my life, breaking people's hearts, until my world was tossed upside down, when it was my turn to have my heart broken. I spent months/years trying to overcome the disappointments in 'us'. You see when one commits they also assume their dreams/hopes will manifested one day, only to be shattered by a person that one trusted/loved/cared for..

 

Anyway, life goes on and got back on that road once traveled to break more hearts..

[Chocolate and Honey]

Hi everyone (waves in a pageant like manner ). Thanks to all of you who took the time to respond. I posted this topic to find real honest answers about this topic. I learned that us Somali girls have a hard time exposing our true feelings to even close friends in fear of being judged as weak or desperate. I never believed in love until I fell in love in High school. And when that love was over, I felt like crawling under a rock and praying for sweet death but I got through it with my sanity in tact. However, my trust in another human being was gone. Then I went through a brief period of carelessness and I broke many undeserving hearts (sadly, I was in the mood for cold revenge ). And I said never, ever, never again will I fall for a man. And then it happened. I fell madly in love. I had a long-term wonderful relationship/engagement with a wonderful guy but when I graduated this year and things needed to be settled I was surprised to learn that things may have not been as wonderful as I thought. I thought about calling the whole thing off. But I didn’t count on the agony and the pure devastation I felt inside after I requested a trial separation to “think things over.” But what angered me the most was the fact that I couldn’t discuss my pain with my girlfriends because they didn’t think I should be a heartbroken or sad over a guy :confused: ! So I pretended and pretended, laughed at their silly jokes, joined when they made fun of men and dismissed my pain even though all along :mad: :mad: , I knew that they were playing a role too. Because deep down, they knew that it hurt. They knew that you can pretend to be strong but it would hurt inside.

 

 

Get together, break up, move on to another. If you truly wanna get over from break up, get togother with another. It works.

This never worked for me dear. After break ups, it is a struggle to avoid going on a killing spree on the male species.

They say pain isn't love, the pain must stem from somewhere else masking it self as pain out of loving someone, it could be one is hurt by the rejection,abandonment, loneliness and anger at themselves.

 

SO true. It is more than losing love.

[Ducaysane]

To make long story short, Love waa kacsi wadnaha gaaray.

[Ashkiro]

LOL@wa kacsi wadnaha gaaray, and to think girls are actually shedding tears for the same guys that hold these views ohh the irony, okay a bad attempt at a joke on others pain i know. But honestly on the topic, I would be those "other girls" you mentioned Chocolate, except its not a role that I would be playing, just how I see it. I personally can't fathom the shedding tears and pain and all that for nin, la gartay my husbandkayga nin aan aduunyo is la so marneey and for whatever reason we separated, I can understand that, however other than that, it beats me honestly. But we are all different.

 

True2truth, walaal somali men at the end of the day are our sons, you may think your only speaking bad about the men, but no it reflects on the women as well, heads and shoulders here.

[Pucca]

No man is worth my tears.

 

if things dont work out, there's a reason for it (do istiqaara if you need help...do it if you think you dont need help) so there's no sense crying over it. You'll only give yourself a headache.

 

please dont eat candy or stuff yourself with food, comfort eating is not healthy. No man is worth getting fat over...seriously.

 

and another thing...its okay to hate him, infact thats the only thing you should be doing...Start hating the darn fool. Post his picture on your wall and throw darts at it if you have to (you might feel dumb, but you'll feel happy and dumb...which is good)...get angry and hate him...just dont get sad and depressed cuz those are ugly feelings.

[FatB]

heres a solution never love someone to the point were they can hurt you that way no matter wat happens u can brush it off

[nuune]

Originally posted by Ducaysane:

To make long story short, Love waa kacsi wadnaha gaaray.

Duceysane, adiga nin aan ka yaabey ayaad tahay runti, meel dhaw ayaad wax ka soo qabataa mar kastaad wax sharraxdo, saana maxey aheyd

[Ibtisam]

This is heading for the award of the most depressing thread on SOL. A collection of broken hearts...

 

Well as AAliyah would say, I will make dua for you all, and Chocolate hope you get through it I'A.

 

LOOOOOOL PUca, throw darts @ their picture, LOOL haha. Thanks for the laugh.

[-Lily-]

I think she was more outraged with having to pretend with her friends, which shouldn’t really be the case, it’s OK to be vulnerable with your friends. Maybe this is something you need to all talk about.

[Ibtisam]

^^^You should never NEED to "put up a face" with your true friends/friend.