Nur Posted February 1, 2006 An e-Nuri Market Research Questionnaire Our Islam page researchers are compiling data on marriage and the relationships that we need to collect from our audiences (including nomads who decided to forgive Nur for his last article, of course after wipping him and hanging him for the birds ) Summertime is around the corner, and many Nomads will be fulfilling their dream to complete their outer shell with a new spouse to be stable ( li Taskunuu) , as such we at e-Nuri social scientists need your input to publish our next paper on; Alignment of Xaliimo and Faarax's Marriage requirements: The result of this market research will be a blue print for would be spouses to draft their marriage contracts before it is too late. 1. First Category: Character Issues a. Please share three most undesirable character traits you will never consider. b. Please share three best character traits you are looking in a future hubby or a wifey. c. Please share character traits that you can tolerate. Second Category: Religious Issues a. Where does a spouse fit in your spiritual life ? choose one below: 1. Most important, desirable, not an issue. Third Category : Social background: a. Does tribal or ethnic background matter in a spouse? b. Does social status, Head of Tribe, job ( shoemaker/metalworker/leatherweaver/computer technician or a cab driver, a Warlord, or does wealth and social prestige matter to you in a mate? c. If all is equal, who do you prefer, western raised spouse, a Somalia-Somaliland-Puntiland-Jubbaland- Kismayoland- Kurtunwarreyland raisaed spouse ? Fourth Category: Age: Choose one below: True, False, sometimes true, sometimes false: a. Maturity comes with age b. A young woman/man is not stable to consider c. Men are like Cheese, the older they get the better d. Younger men can be trained to be a better husband e. Age parity (equivalence) is very important in marriage f. Older women are more satisfying in a relationship d. What is the maximum age difference you can tolerate Hint: (Middle Eastern Joke: Very old man marries very young girl, in their wedding night, they were both crying, why? he forgot all about it, and she is too young to figure it out) Fifth Category: Marital Status (Monogamous minded Nomads, ommit this section ) a. Would you condsider a divorcee or a widow(er) for marriage b. If yes, does it matter the number of kids, their sex or age and why? c. If you are a married man, and meet an interesting woman, would you consider polygamy if: 1. Risk of your present wife leaving you is high? 2. If there is little or no risk? d. If you are a single woman, and you meet an interesting married man, who shows interest in you, who also fits all your other requirements, would you accept his offer if he is: 1. Successful in his first marriage and has no apparent risk if he marries you? 2. Has problems with his current marriage, which is reason why he is looking? 3. Successful, but with high risk if he attempts to wed again. Sixth. Security Issue Please list three most important issues that you need in a marriage to feel secure: ( Fisrt Hint: e-Nuri Polygamy Insurance Service To be released soon) Seventh, Education Background: Men a. Do you feel threatened to be married to a woman who is more educated that you are? b. If yes, what is your worry, please be specific. c. If NO, how much of the household responsibilities are you willing you willing to share with your wife? d. Do you see education as an asset that compensates with appeal or age in a woman? I mean would you choose an older and average looking woman with good education over a good looking younger woman? Women: a. All other factors being equal, Would you consider marrying a lesser educated man or a more educated man or an equally educated man? b. How mush does intellectual maturity in a man weigh against other romantic attributes for your consideration? c. If education is important to you, and you find just the right guy, but without education, would you accept marrying him if he promises to further his education after the wedding/before the wedding as a condition? Good luck Nur 2006 e-Nuri Social Sciences We Attack Problems, Not People Who Casued Them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted February 2, 2006 Ok, normally I wouldn't be caught anywhere near relationship questionnaires for I just don't have the time nor interest in contemplating such issues...but I shall try to do it for e-Nuri's sake Insha'Allah. 1. First Category: Character Issues a. Please share three most undesirable character traits you will never consider. --> Ignorance, conceit, selfishness. b. Please share three best character traits you are looking in a future hubby or a wifey. --> Piety, humility, rationality c. Please share character traits that you can tolerate. --> can't really think of any particular ones rigt now. Second Category: Religious Issues a. Where does a spouse fit in your spiritual life ? choose one below: 1. Most important, desirable, not an issue. --> Most Important (hope I'm getting the q right) Third Category : Social background: a. Does tribal or ethnic background matter in a spouse? --> Not necessarily (I'd prefer Somali though). b. Does social status, Head of Tribe, job ( shoemaker/metalworker/leatherweaver/computer technician or a cab driver, a Warlord, or does wealth and social prestige matter to you in a mate? --> Prestige and wealth: NO --> Job as you put it: Yes--Warlordnimo and any clan affiliated line of work is a big NO NO! (wal ciyadu billah) c. If all is equal, who do you prefer, western raised spouse, a Somalia-Somaliland-Puntiland-Jubbaland- Kismayoland- Kurtunwarreyland raisaed spouse ? --> Location of upbringing doesn't matter per se, so long as he's proficient in his mother tongue and he's well in touch with his roots (Somalinimo that is, not any of the 'Landish' stuff). Fourth Category: Age: Choose one below: True, False, sometimes true, sometimes false: a. Maturity comes with age --> True/False b. A young woman/man is not stable to consider --> False c. Men are like Cheese, the older they get the better --> False d. Younger men can be trained to be a better husband --> False e. Age parity (equivalence) is very important in marriage --> False f. Older women are more satisfying in a relationship --> I wouldn't know d. What is the maximum age difference you can tolerate Hint: (Middle Eastern Joke: Very old man marries very young girl, in their wedding night, they were both crying, why? he forgot all about it, and she is too young to figure it out) --> what a joke! , I could probably tolerate 5-10 yr difference (in fact it's a preference), that is him being older. I wouldn't tolerate a younger husband. 5th Category ommitted! Sixth. Security Issue Please list three most important issues that you need in a marriage to feel secure: ( Fisrt Hint: e-Nuri Polygamy Insurance Service To be released soon) --> compatibility, Spirituality, financial stability (on my part specifically), you said 3 but I can't leave out love Seventh, Education Background: Women: a. All other factors being equal, Would you consider marrying a lesser educated man or a more educated man or an equally educated man? --> Yes to all. b. How mush does intellectual maturity in a man weigh against other romantic attributes for your consideration? --> Extremely high c. If education is important to you, and you find just the right guy, but without education, would you accept marrying him if he promises to further his education after the wedding/before the wedding as a condition? --> Prefer before the wedding, I don't even mind if it's during the engagement period. Phew! that was rather lengthy. ps: did you leave out the significance of physical attributes deliberately or you just forgot to include it? Surely, you must know that it's an issue that weighs in for many folks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xiinfaniin Posted February 2, 2006 ^^We now know your preferences; checkmate should have no problem finding a match ! One thing is for sure you got the age difference right. marry up sister, i say . On a serious note, this is well-thought out questionnaire! Too bad though that I can’t participate in it. good job Nur. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted February 2, 2006 Xiin, No it is not too bad. Just say "if I were in the market" and go on from there. I like to know your choice of a woman. Seventh, Education Background: Men a. Do you feel threatened to be married to a woman who is more educated that you are? - No. It helps if she is educated. Education is always useful. More importantly, education is the means through which a woman who lives in the west communicates with her children, deprograms them from the garbage taught in schools and will respond to all their spiritual questions. Otherwise, there will be communication chasm between her and her kids. c. If NO, how much of the household responsibilities are you willing you willing to share with your wife? - Vacuuming, babysitting, dish-washing, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. But absolutely No cooking for me. I hate cooking. If she gets sick and she can't, I will buy the food from the restaurant. Cashada iyo quraacda waa easy, rooti iyo malmalaado ama ukunaa lagu tuuraa easy. d. Do you see education as an asset that compensates with appeal or age in a woman? I mean would you choose an older and average looking woman with good education over a good looking younger woman . - This is tough one as I love beauty. However, in the end, wuxuu ilaahay wanaag kaala kulminaayaa fiican oo nafta ku degeyso. No amount of beauty will keep a home together if the character isn't there. Waa adigoo qori dab ah laguugu dul fariisiyay oo kale. So, after some soul searching, I would say I wouldn't be bias to a woman because of an age gap between her and another if the older one has pleasant earthly character. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nur Posted February 2, 2006 Abraar sis Thanks for taking the time (too long) to answer the questionnaire. In fact I did forget the Physical Attributes, and when I attempted to edit and add, it was too late, I got a message that said I cant edit, I hope I can edit my life before its locked out like this page. Eighth Category: Physical Attributes: a. Which of the following attributes are important: 1. Hight, weight, color of skin, shape and phyiscal strength. 2. Lifestyle ( active, sedentary) Nur Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted February 2, 2006 All the above factors do not matter in the long run.What will matter are the following 1)Diin 2)understanding one another 3)Loyalty to one another 4)Patience for each other's shortcomings 5)IIMAN- say alhamdullilah for what Allah gave you and all will be fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 2, 2006 so funny i always though Abraar was a brother sorry. cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted February 2, 2006 Ibtisam next i know you'll say that you thought i was a sister Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 2, 2006 u mean you are a guy :eek: :eek: i thought you were a bit over friendly okay i'm stop hijacking the topic, sorry cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted February 3, 2006 Salamz, Sorry to burst the bubble here but is Nur planning to joing this yr's aroos season? Nur saxib, are you looking to end Bachlerhood? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted February 3, 2006 Originally posted by Khayr: Salamz, Sorry to burst the bubble here but is Nur planning to joing this yr's aroos season? Nur saxib, are you looking to end Bachlerhood? Thought Sheikh Nur fulfilled half of his Imaan dozen of moons ago! Mise been bay ii sheegeen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted February 3, 2006 1. First Category: Character Issues a. Please share three most undesirable character traits you will never consider. Dishonestly, insecurity, loud, obnoxious, self-righteous. b. Please share three best character traits you are looking in a future hubby or a wifey. Honesty, self-assurance, wit, sense of adventure, tolerance!. c. Please share character traits that you can tolerate. Nil. Second Category: Religious Issues a. Where does a spouse fit in your spiritual life ? choose one below: 1. Most important, desirable, not an issue. Third Category : Social background: a. Does tribal or ethnic background matter in a spouse? Yes, he must not be my tribe b. Does social status, Head of Tribe, job ( shoemaker/metalworker/leatherweaver/computer technician or a cab driver, a Warlord, or does wealth and social prestige matter to you in a mate? Yes. I’ve a thing for engineers. c. If all is equal, who do you prefer, western raised spouse, a Somalia-Somaliland-Puntiland-Jubbaland- Kismayoland- Kurtunwarreyland raisaed spouse ? No Puntlanders please. Fourth Category: Age: Choose one below: True , False, sometimes true, sometimes false: a. Maturity comes with age = False b. A younger man is not stable to consider = True c. Men are like Cheese, the older they get the better = False ( A leopard doesn’t change its spots). d. Younger men can be trained to be a better husband = Sometimes true e. Age parity (equivalence) is very important in marriage = Sometimes True f. Older women are more satisfying in a relationship = N/A d. What is the maximum age difference you can tolerate – 6yrs Sixth. Security Issue Please list three most important issues that you need in a marriage to feel secure Responsibility, Ambition/foresight and Sparks. Seventh, Education Background: Women: a. All other factors being equal, Would you consider marrying a lesser educated man or a more educated man or an equally educated man? Equal or More. b. How mush does intellectual maturity in a man weigh against other romantic attributes for your consideration? Just as important. c. If education is important to you, and you find just the right guy, but without education, would you accept marrying him if he promises to further his education after the wedding/before the wedding as a condition? Nope. I wouldnt wait for Farax while he treks thru school. Eighth Category: Physical Attributes: a. Which of the following attributes are important: 1. Hight, weight, color of skin, shape and phyiscal strength. 2. Lifestyle ( active, sedentary) Cool Nur. Now what do I get for contributing to your research? Candy? Husband? Xoogsade (who you'll make sure learns and loves to cook)? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted February 3, 2006 I am at a loss for words Curling. Don't know what to say as a reply to such a smart pretty girl asking for my hand Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Castro Posted February 3, 2006 ^ She said he must not be of her tribe. That instantly rules you out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted February 3, 2006 Castro, you are always protective of Curling The Blonde, I noticed that, however, your attempts this time to shield her from my possession is futile And you know why? The reason you cited for my alleged disqualification isn't true. Try another disqualifier if you can, till then Old Man, Curling proposed already We just have to wait for bro Nur to see if he thinks I am fit for her and he will give me away to her as a reward for her replies to his questionnaire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites