Dilemma

[Castro]

^ Hold it there Ms. Bobbit. No need for amputations here. These things happen. We fall in love and we fall out of love. Let us discuss the merits of each and how we can help Faarax have his cake and eat it too.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

Maansha Allah, some of you have given the bro some good advices and pointed him things to ponder before he makes the leap. It is nothing bizarre we are only human and are weak, but as many said you DO need to consider your responsibilities, ie, kids and family. Look for a solution, dont do anything in haste, I would suggest walaal. And whatever you do, do not for a sec consider HARAM! Period.

 

Well, that was my small-never-enough piece of advice and will sit down and take my seat right at the front to listen to the wonderful ways of lightening which I am sure Sh. Nur will bring to the discussion since he introduced.

 

Fi amaani Laah.

[-Serenity-]

how we can help Faarax have is cake and eat it too

Faarax is a lecherous coward and deserves no sympathy or help.

[Castro]

^ How do we know Faarax's wife does not weigh 800 lbs and they have not been intimate for 4 years? Huh? What if the new woman is 5' 9", (36-24-36), is 10 years younger and loves him to death as well? Now what?

 

I'd say we have the old wife cook and clean for the new couple during their extended honeymoon. This way, they get to eat and she gets to lose weight and compete with wife numero deux. What do you say?

[-Serenity-]

I say its unacceptable. If his wife is so appalling, then why not do the decent thing and leave her alone? I guess he expects her to clean his shoes and look after his children while he shacks up with a floozy.

[Cara.]

^^What if she poisons them? No, I still think my idea is better.

[Warrior of Light]

Prefer her(THE NUMBER UNO) not to get involved, poor woman she has already lost her husband,.. now have blood on her hands, naah. She wont be able to forgive herself especially when she looks into her childrens eyes.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

"How do we know Faarax's wife does not weigh 800 lbs and they have not been intimate for 4 years? Huh? What if the new woman is 5' 9", (36-24-36), is 10 years younger and loves him to death as well? Now what?"

 

...You are one damn provocative Cast. btw, it still not good enough to lose his galgacal for his lady...intimacy is not the only glue that holds couples together, don't get me wrong though, I am not saying it is not important.

 

For the sake of it, since you have used what if scenario....'what if miss 'bac' makes him lose his kids and wife and dumps him afterwards? Is she worth the risk? No. There is more to the story than we know, so let us giving the good advice, after all, this is a muslim/somali family and keeping it together is our duty as muslims.

 

Fi amaani Laah

[Dhagax-Tuur]

before i can toss my two cents on the tray ....

....I am waiting.

[Jacpher]

I am seriously thinking about marrying the new love, but she made it clear after I proposed that she is not willing to marry a married man, I will never leave my wife for another, and my wife will never accept another woman, and I can not live without the new love, I wish this never happened, but its here to stay and is intensifying, is there a way out? your kind advice please?

War kan maxaa ka khaldan? Mindhaa madiidadaan si fiican loo barin. Nin tuur leh siduu u seexdo isagaa kaa yaqaan. Afareey ku akhri, islaamahana basareyn ku wad, gurina ha ku fakarin inaad dumisid. Oday baa wuxuu yiri: naagaha iyo carruurtaba sasabaa lagu wadaa.

[Rahima]

sorry a little off topic, somali women are partly to blame their husbands leaving. truthfully the minute the i do's is exchanged she lets go off herself, fat and unattractive often forget to comb her hair for days, producing like lo in texas.

What about the Somali men? They all seem to grow these fat pot bellys even though they don’t drink and let themselves go. Girlfriend it goes both ways in a Somali marriage.

 

And a man should love his wife irrespective of what she looks like. Most often she got that way because she had his children and is running after them all day long, what’s his excuse?

 

we need practical solutions, yes a man has right to 4 wives, and yes it is a fact we do not like, so do something about it, provide what he might be lacking, or curious about, ragu waa caruur, enough toys at home and he is yours truly

And what, compete for him?lool Man sorry girls, but he should love you irrespective of what you look like (hygeine is assumed). Advise based on health is recommended and granted, but look after yourselves girls so that your husband doesn’t leave you? :confused: Good God, where is our self-worth women? Day in day out we sit here and cry about not wanting to be seen as sex objects and here we are advocating for it.

 

Don’t get me wrong sisters, nothing wrong with looking nice for your husband, but the intention should be so that he can at times see you all dollied up for he likes it, but not so that you can prevent him leaving you or having a bad marriage. Marriages are not ruined because a woman is not sparkling, thin and not in the best dirac.

 

Now to our straying Farax,

 

I am seriously thinking about marrying the new love, but she made it clear after I proposed that she is not willing to marry a married man, I will never leave my wife for another, and my wife will never accept another woman, and I can not live without the new love, I wish this never happened, but its here to stay and is intensifying, is there a way out? your kind advice please?

What I find most amusing is that this guy actually had a chance to fall in love with a sheila. There is attraction and then there is love. Attraction would never cause such a dilemma unless of course the man is incompetent and has absolutely no self-control. What is clear from this however is that this man has being going against the teachings of our religion- mixing of the sexes should be restricted. If he had followed this to begin with he wouldn’t have a problem now would he?

 

That said its being done, he should tell his wife, let her decide what she wants to do and go with that. If he is adamant about wanting the other woman and his wife is not willing to accept such a marriage (which is her right), then they should get divorced and move on with their lives. I don’t think that people should be married for the kids or anything of sort.

 

Finally, the other woman is a conniving so and so. Obviously there had to be a certain level of wada hadal and shukaansi before this marriage thing came up and obviously she knew he was married, why entertain the thoughts of such a strayer? Even if the story plays out as him marrying her, she better be ready for it to happen to her. No difference becoming number 2 or having one come after you.

 

Anyway i have absolutely no sympathy for this man, i feel sorry for his wife and that other woman is a disgrace to our sex.

[Nephissa]

Here's a toast to all the current wives and the sweethearts... May they never meet!

[Haneefah]

^r u sure u wouldn't want to get a quick glimpse at least, just out of curiosity

 

 

Good God, where is our self-worth women? Day in day out we sit here and cry about not wanting to be seen as sex objects and here we are advocating for it.

While I do agree that the intention shouldn't be solely to have him never leave, I don't see how being conscious of your appearance and looking good for your husband results in anything close to being a sex object or how it would impact ones self-worth :confused: I do also believe that you know it's part of the sunnah for the wife to beautify herself and try and please her husband in every way possible just as it is expected of him to reciprocate. So sis, let the sisters put some effort in enticing their husbands to the fullest and have them sing lady in red once in a while

 

What is clear from this however is that this man has being going against the teachings of our religion- mixing of the sexes should be restricted. If he had followed this to begin with he wouldn’t have a problem now would he?

My sentiments exactly! Looks like the brother gave himself ample opportunity to "fall in love" which is questionable to begin with. I believe the dude should repent to Allah (SWT) for his mistake and also confess to his wife that's he's been cheating and ask for her forgiveness, then he should embark on a strict spiritual cleansing regime to get rid of his feelings for this woman...chances are it's nothing more than lust.

 

that other woman is a disgrace to our sex

Why? Chances are he kept her in the dark about his marital status during the 'xodxodosho period' as many Faarax's do markay naag kale ka daba dhareerayaan iyagoo already xaas leh. Besides, she did the right thing by choosing not to get involved with a married man. So he should be the only one at fault here me thinks.

[Xoogsade]

Originally posted by Castro:

I'd say we have the old wife cook and clean for the new couple during their extended honeymoon. This way, they get to eat and she gets to lose weight and compete with wife numero deux. What do you say?

I say GREAT.

[Juxa]

sister rahima, salaams horta, teeda kale i did not advocate for women losing their self respect or being threated as sex object.

 

i am for empowering women as much as next door halima, however what i said is the truth i was emploring practical solutions on how to limit faarah's wondering eyez.

 

i do agree with you on the point that it goes both ways, looking attractive for each other that is however most physical changes occurs to the women, all i am saying is naa ha iska seexan, isku dadaal and keep him occupied.

 

ninka hadii uusan ku rabin, marnaba ma celin kartid,but prevent him having too many opportunities to go and hunt if its possible. if not, let him be, dhib ilaah ma keenin