Dilemma

[Nur]

e-Nuri Socio-Ethics

 

 

Presents

 

 

A Reality Dilemma

 

 

Nur walaal, I am puzzled, I need help, you see, I am a married man to a great lady, a great family and healthy social circles, good job and stable life. Now, I am facing a difficult situation, I fell in love with another Haliimo , never felt this kind of love, I feel captivated, lost control of my mind, and because of the social circle we share, we see each other very often

 

I am seriously thinking about marrying the new love, but she made it clear after I proposed that she is not willing to marry a married man, I will never leave my wife for another, and my wife will never accept another woman, and I can not live without the new love, I wish this never happened, but its here to stay and is intensifying, is there a way out? your kind advice please?

 

Faarax

 

 

Dear Faarax

 

I am touched walaal, you are indeed in deep trouble, before i can toss my two cents on the tray, I would sit back and gather opinions. There is more than one way to go about this challenge of yours.

 

 

Nur

[Muhammad]

Nur, I think the 'Love' sting somehow damaged the faarah's nervous system, I advice he be seated, given some water so we can explore his situation.

 

I will leave it to you and the members to prepare a detailed questionnaire for the Faarah, before the Nasiha is given.

[Castro]

^ Would this not be a good situation to make use of what Allah already made halaal, i.e. having multiple wives?

[Muhammad]

^ If as a result of a hasty decision due to the influence of 'Love', the first wife leaves the equation, what do we have?

 

knowledge cultivated gives birth to wisdom (doing or saying the right thing at the right time at the right place).

 

more data is needed.

[NGONGE]

As the Egyptians say:

اقطع العرق وسيح دمه

Cut the vein and let the blood run free..

 

I’m not sure if this proverb is to do with the slaughtering of animals and the need to be swift (i.e. making sure that the animal dies instantly and does not needlessly suffer for long). Or, if the proverb is about gangrene, septicemia and the need to amputate a limp! Either way, to get rid of such problems, one would have to cut the vein and let the blood run free, as it were. No doubt and no hesitation.

 

Divorce the first, marry the second and get on with your life, Faarax.

 

And now, I'm going to contradict myself just for the fun of it...

 

نقل Ùؤادك حيث شئت من الهوÙÙŠ

ماالحب الا للحبيب الاول

كم منزل ÙÙŠ الارض يالÙÙ‡ الÙتي

وحنينه ابدا لاول منزل

[Castro]

^ Divorcing the first is often out of the question, specially if kids are involved. There are but two ways to go about this, the halaal way and the haraam way. There's no third.

[- Femme -]

1. I think the idea of a threesome has lead to a horny generation of loser faraaxs.

 

2. Its funny that people give their own meaning to the word NO these days.

 

Castro,

Why is the haraam even an option? Oh my wife refuses to stay with me if I marry a second therefore let me do haram...and the first is to blame? The stubborn mule! :rolleyes:

[Castro]

^ It's an option because some people do not adhere to the teachings of Islam as they should. And I always blame men for all the ills of all mankind.

[- Femme -]

^You should've been related to me. I could always use a man with your views in my family tree.

 

But honestly what is a xaliimo to do if shes fantasizing about her next door neighbour when shes making love to her husband? Too bad she cant have both! And same to Mr.-I-fell-in-love-and-cant-live-without-her-courtesy-of-hallmark. If both partners dont agree that is not a happy household.

 

It's funny why I should be passionate about this. It's not as if any of SOLers opinions are going to matter in my life. Its just that I've seen too many men destroy the women in my family (cousins, aunts). If I wasn't scared of hell I would've really hurt them real bad---legally.

[NGONGE]

Castro,

 

You do realise that none of this is real and no wives are getting divorced. For this one time only the E-Nuri Empire has expanded and sponsored a clean version of The Gerry Springer Show. Therefore, I say punch the first right on the nose and marry the second with no gabbati, saaxib.

[Castro]

^ You'd be surprised atheer how real this is. Gabaati is hardly the problem. It's having your cake (first wife) and eating it (the lover) too. Yes, sounds naughty and kinky but it's a major dilemma.

 

Femme, women fall in love and cheat about as often as men do. And yes, I've got evidence to support this but hijaking topics is not my thing. Women, however, are far more evolved than men and are very discreet about their matters of the heart (and other body parts).

[Chocolate and Honey]

is it real love or intense sexual attraction? :confused: no weird looks :rolleyes: just bear with me. it is a proven fact that men after being married a while, especially if the wifey is reproducing as fast as she can, fantazise about fresh romantic life. because they are overburdened with responsibillities, they tend to overexaggarate such feelings for other females, especially if they are moslim and somali cuz they know they have that option of marrying as much as four wives.

 

The dilema: what should this brother do?

My suggestion:

I would advise the brother to think about the situation and consider all options with clear head. ask quesions like: is he still inlove with his wife? is there anything that can be done inorder to rekindle those feelings he had for his wife? are there kids that will be neglected if he bails out on the marriage?

after analyzing the situation if he is still infatuated with this new woman, he should get divorce and marry her because really chances are if he stays with his wife, he will make both of them miserable.

now the obvious probmlem with this solution is that KARMA is a terrible thing. he leaves his wife, who probably loves him and is trying to be the best wife she can for him, for another woman and the new woman who knows that you left your wife for her can walk out anytime.

so I would conclude(though am contradiction myself a bit but really blame it on the coffee) dont be selfish and stay with your wife. those batterflies in the stomach go away, they are just feelings(Duh!) avoid a lifetime of guilt and bitterness. dont spoil your life, just cause a finer xalimo came arround.

---------------------------------------------

Get Up! Up Even the best fall down sometimes.

[muunad]

think about: what about this lady i can't live with out?

in other words what has she got that the other doesn't? also why would she date a married man if she wasn't willing to be married to one?

in conclusion stick with your wife and the other will with time if you permit yourself leave your system. she is a conditioned response and u can un learn that response.

*i always blame the women that enter a marriage rather than the men.

[muunad]

D/P.

[Mr.Faarax]

haa waa gartay nooh'

 

wuxuu raba laba lugaatey inuu kaco yaah'

xaaji lacag miyaa, futashaariga dhig waryaa,

tell this dude.

 

Dont leave your wife man, cusbo iyo liin dhanaan ku dar, basbaas lee ka maqan nooh, she will be finer than the one u running after. Maxaa waaye saan.. tan cusub what she got? if you like her style, buy your wife some clothes take her to the somali mall, goor garad iyo dirac isku joog , saas lee waaye. if she got the body, take ur wife to the gym and make her run like ABDI BILLE ABDI. If you say still she got something u cant describe ...shaxaari aa tahay noooh...baabkaaga jiq waaye!

 

Ka bood waryaa!