fartun Posted September 7, 2005 hey i want thank you all and i realy appricaite yo all taking the time to give me a feek back for the situation that i am in, butta i get a lot of good things from yo all, even though i take a wrong path to solve my situation i still thank each of you who gave me their honest opinion so thanx again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NASSIR Posted September 7, 2005 Break the promise? Sister, It is unethical to break a promise and ask strangers about an important decision you have to make, esp one which depends on the life of a young man who has waited you for that long. I would say just marry him and reap the blessings and benefits that your marriage should bring forth. I bet you won't get nothing but happiness and it will surely enhance your performance at school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AdivA Posted September 20, 2005 Salam, Dear sister, don't break away from your education. And how selfish of this man, rather boy, to finish his degree and can't even wait for you to get 3 semesters out of the way and push you into marriage. Remember, if tomorrow he decides to walk away from you and you don't have yourself together...you are doomed. Atleast you kept your promise and you are financially steady. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naasir Posted September 20, 2005 Do you want an honest response or fake? Fake= Oooh Don't let man control you this is 21st century, go get your degree girl and remember you are young so party till sunrise. Honest= It wouldn't make any different either you graduate or not, cuz regardless u will be a typical Somali house wife who's all she does is talk on da phone 24/7, talk about what Dirac she is gonna wear for the next party (Shaash saar, Aroos, Welcome, etc.) with a beautiful degree on her wall. So u might as well marry some one who wants u and willing to help ya out, it is a fact not too many men want to marry ya, most of them wanna tap that thing and move to the next one. If u ever need help make sure u have me on your#1 of the speed-dial list for all your upcoming sessions. Alwayz the 1st 3 sessions are free after that u be charges (yeee, cuz I know u be back again if you come for a consultation once) Best Wishes Cheers:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted September 20, 2005 LOOOOOL@Naasir love that fake response...Do what you want girl,don't let no one get in ya way,uh uh!! Seriously,sis,if you ask me,you shouldn't promise to marry anyone unless you're ready at that moment...Don't lead him on,saying,"I'll marry you after i finish school",if he asks,say"No,I don't want to marry you,I want to finish my school first".And if he asks you at that time if you want to marry after you're finished school,tell him,"ask me when I'm finished" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mombasa_QUEEN Posted September 20, 2005 sista you can do what ever it takes you or what ever you think is right for you and also anyone can go to school and have a family at the same time but wht they do is they make sure they dnt carry no baby and if you do is Allah willing. so no one is here will tell you to do the right or wrng thind so do what you think is right and also talk to you're men about it share with him and tell him what is going on dont stress you're self. i have a men and girl we fight every time i mean every time but at the end we solve our problems. So take a min and go and chit chat with ya men and decide what is wright thing to do sis dont sit here and lesten to anyone what they gon say about coz none of us know what is good for you and for you're future. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabhad Posted October 8, 2005 Relationships, love, passions, fake honeyss etc. No wonder you are in a mess. appeasing someone else while breaking allah's rules will not make you happy, rather it will bring only misery. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Proud_Muslimah2 Posted October 8, 2005 Originally posted by islamtoday: In the name of Allah most gracious most mercifull, first of all sis... Allah SWA does not shy away from the truth... so sis i don't mean to be harsh but u shouldn't be in a situation like the one u r in,, to begin with right,,, 'cause our diin forbids that.. but we r humans and we make mistakes... my advice to u sis.. if this man has good diin and good manners and u know him to be of good nature,, and wouldn't transgress on u go ahead marry with ur families permission... don't worry about the degree 'cause Allah SWA put the responsibility of providing for the family upon the man's shoulder not of woman's if only men could understand that... the reason for this advise is 'cause u r in a relationship with this person,, and as we all know it relationships before marriage are Haram right... so u have to discontinue u being in haram situation to a Halal.. 'cause SAW said "if a man and a woman become alone in a place the shaytan is their third".... something to that extent... so anything could happen between u,, we r human we r not made of iron.. blood runs through us... and like the others have said prayer istikhara also.. May Allah SWA help u... Well put Islamtoday. As for the sister, I hope you make the right decision sis and good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RedSea Posted October 24, 2005 Salamu calaykum, Thanks my beloved sister for asking us for advise before you reach yours. It's always good to get help when you need help that is why this section of SOL was made. Coming back to the topic at hand. I would like you sister to read this with sincere mind and listen to me, because I won't tell you anything that is misleading. First and foremost, if the brother that you wth is a good brother who respects the laws and regulations of the Islmic law then I can continue, if he is one that touches and crossed the borders already then I would say present this issue to your closest Shiekh who is trustworthy and deal with it secretly. So if it is so happens that the brother yells but has no other big wrong doings then I would advice t marry him as soon as possible if you like him and feel you can raise children and family with him. If the only thing that is stoping you from marriage is your school, then I would tell you that don't listen to what anybody else says listen to Allah and the words of the massenger. Our beloved Prophet scw said " O you who have reach puberty if ye can get married then marry". Notice the word "can", it doesn't mean if you are still in school and still in the middle of school, it means if you have something to pay to the woman's family then you can get married. Don't let other's comments bother you. It's a proven fact that you will never regret marriage. Marriage only makes things easier for you whether it's school or other aspects of life. After it's encourage by Allah and his messenger scw, be convinced. Get married and at the same attend your school and finish your school. If he finished school or not it's his responsibility to provide with the family. After all you can't get married unless you can take care of your family. So my sister don't worry, insha Allah, this is good thing that is happening to you and don't let past you by. If you feel unconfortable with the guy before we even reach the school issue, then you are 100% free to do whatever you want. You aren't forced to do anything against your will. If you don't want him walk away, if you want him but school is on your way, then that is not valid reason. School and marriage have nothing to do with each other. You will always be the same only better once you get married, it all depends on you if you sit back and say since I got married I am not going to School, or if you want to continue your education but don't let school stand on your way. You have only three months and you could be married before you finish school and kids are 6 more months away from that. My last advice to you is if you decide to do the right thing and you get married now. Don't delay the process of having kids because ofschool,it's not allowed in our religion.Only if you are sick and can't carry the baby is when you are allowed to space out the pregnancy. Finally, remember what Allah said if you are afraid if you get married soon you won't feed the family so Allah said "Wallaa taqtuluu awlaadakum cindaka iflaaqin,naxnu narsuqukum waa iyaahum" Suuratu Isra. roughly translated= And don't kill you children fear of hunger, indeed we feed you and them" in another Ayah it's the other way around "we feed them and you". Sister take advantage of this great oppurtunity. And I hope you finish your school smoothly, and may Allah hold your hand into success in this life and the hereafter and may you never fail in life, Allahu ma Amin. Salamu Calaykum my dear sis and Ramadan Karim. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
