are you a traditional girl or modern superwoman?

[Haseena]

Thank you sis for this topic, I like the idea, and really like how most of you guys have analysed.

 

Now days to be a woman, is not what it used to be when our parents were growing up. Somehow things have gotten better and somehow it hasn't. Now days you'll see sisters who put their carriers before their husband and children, and to me that's a big neglect.

 

To get education is good, Allah mentions many times in the Quran the importance of getting education, but one may ask what kind of education? There are good and important education and less important education, but what most of us tend to forget is when choosing education one must keep in mind, this life is not the only life so we should not only invest in this life, and forget the most important and lasting hereafter, so as a Muslim you have to balance.

 

And being a housewife, is not a bad thing, and I don't mean like as most of the Somali women I’ve seen raising their child, most of them doesn't even know how to raise them, cause every time the kid does wrong they call them fault names, they hit their children thinking this will straighten them up, and don't really help them with their homework’s, since they probably don't know how to.

 

Being a housewife is far more than that, it's to be the ruler of your household, to educate your children in the best of manners, to talk to them in a kind way, to give them time, to teach them Islam, every day sit with them talk to them intellectually, if a mother invest time on her children, they'll carry her tomorrow. And when it comes to your husband, what's wrong with loving him, when he comes home tired letting him rest, giving him food, talking to him in a kind gentle way, being there for him. Allah made it easy for us, by making our husbands happy we will be granted paradise, and what reward is better than that? All this come naturally, its part of our being, we are the ones sought for care and kind treatment.

 

The matter with getting education is not to go and pursue a carrier, no; your education should be beneficial for you and your children and for your husband.

 

I believe in getting education and inshallah I'll get an education, I want to be a teacher, so I'll do it. Many times it's good I think to get your education, and marry after that.

[Xafsa]

I see a double standard here. In order for a muslim woman to stay home and raise her family she needs to know that her husband can and will work to provide her and her children with a comfortable lifestyle. Lets not forget that it is pretty common for a somali man to place his family on welfare and expect a $500 government check to take care of them.

 

Most of us females, having seen that kind of thing occuring in greater numbers, think that we have to have a career so that we are better equipt to take care of the needs of our family.

[Thinkerman]

Thats an important point that hasnt been raised in the argument yet. It must go without saying (although the opposite seems to eb the case in our community) that the Man (as it is his islamic duty) Must if i can do, provide for his family's needs.

 

So i agree with you FS, lakiin still i think the best alternative is like always somewhere in between. I dont think that the need be some Conflict between the 2 Supposed roles, if, and it is a bigg if (relatively speaking)the Husband and the wife concerenced are doveted to each other and are willing to work in the best interest of their union.

 

When i get married (inshallah) i personally wouldnt want my Wife to work the common 9-5 type of jobs that most of the career minded sisters would end up with.

[Xafsa]

So i agree with you FS, lakiin still i think the best alternative is like always somewhere in between. I dont think that the need be some Conflict between the 2 Supposed roles, if, and it is a bigg if (relatively speaking)the Husband and the wife concerenced are doveted to each other and are willing to work in the best interest of their union.

 

your right it all depends on how Compromising the 2 people are. Its up to them to figure out what works for their family.

[Thinkerman]

Yep it takes 2 to tango, commonsense and devotion to each other for teh sake of Allah as much as for each other sake.

[ferocious]

seriously u guys have to consider this if the man provides for his family entirely he would want her to to stay at home and clean and cook for him, he basically will think low of her , and this is human nature that am bringing up, we all know if someone is dependent on us we take them for granted and we dont respect them the way we are supposed to ,yet we wont notice it because it a human nature.

 

as a woman i want to have kids and a family but i want to have a career too, being a mother is full time job and am willing to take the first five years off,(if i dont have islamic baby sitter) and if i have muslims person that wants to take care of my child in my absence(of course i will pay to baby sit) i will work part for a while and when the kids are older enough , i basically cant sit at home and wait for my husband and kids to come back from school/work

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

I just want to ask a question to

b/c many Xalimoos burst the cry of 'Freedom and Liberation' when they say that

they have a 'right to an education' and that Islam supports this.

 

Well, let me ask you this,

What kind of Education does Islam support in the first place?

What is your understanding of what is Good Education v. Bad Education?

 

According to my understanding from what the ulama like Ibn Al-attas, Ghazzali, Sayuti etc.,

that the Islamic Education is

any knowldge that links back forth

Allah>>>>>Mankind & Mankind>>>>>Allah

That relationship should always be reitrated

b/c the Thesis of the Quran is that

"WE COME FROM ALLAH AND TO HIM WE BELONG'

 

Well if thats the case then, what does 4yrs at a Univ. studying Engineering have to do with Islam? If what you are studying is not being related to this relationship of Man to ALLAH.

 

You are persuing Secular Education that Seperates Religion and from Knowledge Explicitly and Implicitly.

 

If for example you are spending all time stuyding a particular field, but in reality it is changing who you and your way of lifestyle and hampering your DEEN i.e. No time for Salat, only NonMuslims around you 24hrs a day etc.

Then do you still thing that

the Education you are seeking is a good for thing? If Yes, why is it Good cause in Islam

Good is in relation to how something draws your closer or further from Allah.

 

...................

 

On another note, let me give you a short scenario....

Say a Xalimoo goes and persues her Education

and finishs her 4yrs. Now unless she has a father in Arabia, she's probably racking up alot of money interms of loans for her schooling.

So lets say on the conservative said (and this is being conservative), she graduates school with a $10,000 LOAN on her plate.

She's 23/24 now, so she wants to get rid of that loan, so she starts to work right after she graduates but she also has to help out the family with whatever money she makes, so doesn't have enough money to pay off that loan as quickly as she wanted to and to add to this, she goes back to slow to get more education

to get a bettr job. So she gets another loan for her new courses.

 

Well a few yrs later, she's 25-26 and now she has her Masters, but say min. $15, 000 debt (excluding the monthly interest charges).

Now she has gotten a nice job,

but it will take her a few yrs to pay off her loan.

So 4yrs later, at the age of 30yrs old, she will have gotten rid of her debt. So she's 30yrs old now and looking for a Hubby.

Do you think that many money will be interested in her, cause she's 30yrs old now. Not the same as she was say 10yrs ago?

 

She could of tried to get married when she had her loan at a younger age but a Xalimo with

a debt isn't tooo attractive to persue for marriage. Ask any muslim man and he will agree with me. Two people with huge Student Loans getting married forces both individuals to Work right off the but and this is where the problem lies.

 

You sisters that think that Getting a Career and having a Family is the Ideal Muslim Family should really check be honest with yourselves. For 1400yrs, that wasn't the model so why is this model for a family where 'Dual INCOME' families are the Ideal sooo much better???

[Xafsa]

^^ So your saying that only applies to females?

 

 

Well if thats the case then, what does 4yrs at a Univ. studying Engineering have to do with Islam? If what you are studying is not being related to this relationship of Man to ALLAH

The same could be asked of the muslim men...could it not?

[Khayr]

FS, walaal, it applies to both genders-Raaga eyo Duumarka

[Xafsa]

So with that logic its safe to conclude that according to you we should just sit at home and pursue only religious knowledge? that any cilmi beyound religion is useless and will not help us in perfecting our religion?

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

I'm not the least suprise FS that you give me that response b/c I have the lines umptin' times.

Reality is most muslims in the West, tend to DECONSTRUCT ISLAM and just view that the their choice of LIFESTYLE will not affect their relationship with ALLAH.

 

Its a very NAIVE thing to do so and you know, most of us do fool our selfs over and over again cause we have alot of MIXED INTENTIONS in which if we really and truely ask ourselves, Allah and his rasul (salallahu caliyhe wasil) are put in the bottom of the list of Priorities.

 

Cause if they were at the TOP of your LIST in our lives, then Inshallah what type of Major to persue and what type of Occupation or whether to live in an apartment or house, would be very relevant to us and we would think LONG AND HARD

as to how each move in our lives would affect our relationship with Allah and his Rasul (salallahu caliyhe waslim).

 

But the reality shows us a very different picture!!!

 

When persuing anything in ourlives that RELATIONSHIP btwn YOURSELF and ALLAH and His Rasul (salallahu caliyhe waslim) should be looked at.

 

Not an easy thing to do b/c it really constricts you in many ways, but after all, ISLAM is not their to Liberate the "MINDS' but to liberate 'SOULS' through Constricting the NAFS.

Deen is their to prepare ALL OF US for our meeting with ALLAH.

I don't know about you but the BOSS UPSTAIRS, has many demands and few vacances at his Condo.

in Janna.

So competition is real tough cause we got 1400yrs worth of muslims and the other ummahs before them to compete with.

[Xafsa]

I'm not the least suprise FS that you give me that response b/c I have the lines umptin' times.

You expected that?

 

Isn't true that any action can help you get closer to allah and help you better understand your diin and your purpose in this world if you do this action with the right niyah?

Inna mal acmaalu bi niyaah....right?

 

With that: wouldn't going to school and majoring in lets say medicine be a form of cibaadah if you do it with the intention( niyaah) of helping your fellow muslim and to help relieve the pain and suffering of this ummah?

[Conscious Manipulation]

salaam,

 

Khyr where does the concept of secular education come from? The pursuit of knowledge about the physical world was never viewed as "secular" in Islam, our history is a testement to this as we have always been in the forefront of knoweldge in every field.

 

With that: wouldn't going to school and majoring in lets say medicine be a form of cibaadah if you do it with the intention( niyaah) of helping your fellow muslim and to help relieve the pain and suffering of this ummah?

Good point.

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

With that: wouldn't going to school and majoring in lets say medicine be a form of cibaadah if you do it with the intention( niyaah) of helping your fellow muslim and to help relieve the pain and suffering of this ummah?

Ok but really and truelly speaking do we ever have that PURE INTENTION to do something

XALATAN fi Sibilallah/For the Deen.

I mean that is a great Sacrfice, to go and

do post secondary education for 10+ yrs and rack up $100,000+ in Loans for the DEEN, all with the Intention of helping Muslims who don't care about you and won't pay you to get rid of your debt.

 

Why, you can also help the DEEN as a Care Taker

or "WORSE YET" as a FULL TIME HOME ENGINEER?

 

We all have mixed intentions why if we all had pure intentions then we wouldn't want anything of this world and we wouldn't even want JANNAH, we'd just worship Allah just b/c HE IS ALLAH and wouldn't care less about going to JANNA or NOT.

 

Intentions have to checked over and over again, all the time. I had to go through this when I was in school and I made Du'as Asking ALLAH to purify my Niyah cause if my niyah was for something else and I was fooling myself, then I would be putting myself in Danger and hampering my Akhirah.

 

....................................

 

You at the Heart of the Matter is

FEMALE INSECURITY and b/c many sisters have grown up in a Single family home in the West, they really don't trust men to be the SOLE Provider cause they have seen tooo many men in their lives take off on their families and wives and they don't want to become a Single Mother on Welfare.

They want a career just incase Farax gets fed up

with her tomorrow and decided to leave her.

But inshallah, if you have IMAN and make du'a,

Allah will give you what your SOUL DESERVES, just put your TRUST IN HIM

(not an easy thing to do by any measure!!!)

[Xafsa]

all with the Intention of helping Muslims who don't care about you and won't pay you to get rid of your debt.

Isn't Islam about being selfless? Do you do good for the people only with the understanding that you will always get a reward or be thanked by them?

 

 

Why, you can also help the DEEN as a Care Taker

or "WORSE YET" as a FULL TIME HOME ENGINEER?

 

Thats true, but my brotha I think you miss took this whole post to be about us females being against staying at home and taking care of our families. There is nothing in this world more rewarding than raising your children in the way of the diin. But what needs to be realised is that us muslim women staying at home and taking care of our kids is dependent upon whether or not the muslim man is willing and able to take care of his family.

Lets be honest, how many somali men actually take full responsiblity of their families? compare that with the number of somali men that put their families on government assistance and food stamps. YOu do the math.

 

 

You at the Heart of the Matter is

FEMALE INSECURITY and b/c many sisters have grown up in a Single family home in the West, they really don't trust men to be the SOLE Provider cause they have seen tooo many men in their lives take off on their families and wives and they don't want to become a Single Mother on Welfare.

They want a career just incase Farax gets fed up

with her tomorrow and decided to leave her.

But inshallah, if you have IMAN and make du'a,

Allah will give you what your SOUL DESERVES, just put your TRUST IN HIM

(not an easy thing to do by any measure!!!)

INSECURITY?...isn't our insecurity well founded?