are you a traditional girl or modern superwoman?

[dawoco]

salaams to all sisters. Hope u can bare my calaacal for the day, but i wanted to share a thought with u....

Being a somali woman living abroad can be difficult, as we have to adjust more than the men in my opinion. Having lived in europe for so many years i have noticed that there are two types of somali girls. The homely girls who want to enjoy their early years and eventually settle with someone and happily become a housewife. And the ambitiouse sisters who want to become educated and be something other than someones wife.

More often than not the ambitiouse sisters face a clash with the culture as we all are eventually expected to get married and produce babies, while the others are more happy because of their acceptance of what our society wanted them to do.

 

I myself have been encouraged to put education ahead of everything and am very ambitious, but i know that eventually i will have to face snide remarks about how fulfilling family actually is and how empty my life is without them...As it is uncles are already remarking on my unmarried status!

 

Now my question to you is, under which category do you fall? Do you think a woman can have a career and still maintain her family? How?

[Xafsa]

Why not? Why can't you be an educated young ambitious sister with a family and a great career?

Isn't life about balance?

There is this myth going around that a family and a career can't go hand in hand. Its all about how strong and determined you are about going after both.

 

I want a great career and I'm working towards that goal at this time...but I also want a family adn I realize that there comes a point in time when both my goals have to over lap. I also realize that planing for something never works...wixii kuu qornaa baad heleeysaa...so no stress.

[ZOLA]

HI DAWACO,

 

 

i would say i fall on the 2nd catagory....i think a woman can have a family and still maintain a family ....only if she is married to understanding man...i dont think u life is empty coz u dont have a family ....like many other sisters who fall on the 2nd catagory ....u r trying to build a career and waiting for the right time to settle down.

 

A.A

[- diamond princess -]

First of all, of course a woman can be a wife, maintain a good family and have a successful career. After all women are doing it every day. One of the things I truely dislike about our culture is this tradional way of things. Women do not have to be house wifes. It is not a force. If her husband can't understand that then how understanding is he after all? I mean if we were suppose to be house wives what is the point of going to school and working our asses off?

 

My mother and father have always and still do want me to end up with a very good career and I will. This whole house wife thing doesn't apply to me. As you can guess I put education first. And if I plan to have a family, it's a 50/50, the words "house wife" will not be spoken of. I think I said to much. Lol. Bye Now.

 

.:peace n luv:.

[Conscious Manipulation]

salaam,

 

I think it's very hard to maintain a career and still raise children. Eventually there will come a point where you'll have to sacrifice one for the other. How many woman can hold demanding positions in the work field and still manage to raise 5kids? Not a whole lot. Besides, living in this society (westren) I don't think many Muslim mothers have the luxury of pursuing work outside the home because unless your husband is a stay-at-home father, you'll mostly like have to leave your children at the mercy of non-Muslims in a daycare facility. So while you're out conquering the world the first teachers your little ones have will be non-Muslims and you can imagine the adverse effects this will have on their spiritual development.

 

Of course there are always exceptions and every situation is different but I know that personally as soon as Allah blesses me with children my lab coat will go in the closet.

[MiSs_LeXuS]

Do you think a woman can have a career and still maintain her family? How?

I believe a woman can have a career and still maintain a family and I am not saying this because it's my opinion but the fact that I know someone close to me that has a career and is maintaining a family of her own and of course with her husband there too.

When I get married I am not planning to be a housewife but also to have a career.

What is the point of been a housewife? When you don't have that much education? No point. At least if you are a housewife you must graduation from Uni.

 

Life is not just been about having a family and knowing your tradition but also to practice your deen. What on earth happened to deen.

The only thing that I think is impossible is...

Deen + Career + Family = Impossible

Now that is what I call impossible. I believe you can't have it all. It's either family and deen or career and family. Career and deen, that's a big N-O.

I myself would say that I am a modern woman.

And I also know where I stand with my tradition.

[dawoco]

Intresting view MiSs_LeXuS, i agree with you that being a religious and having a household compliment one another, but why can't career and deen go well together? After all, if you have imaan and aren't trapped in a capitalistic vicious circle only wanting to earn and spend, why isn't it possible?

[ferocious]

me 50/50 i got all of it .........

 

sorry i disagree with u lexus one can have religion, career and family at once ,

 

example is my sister she works as a nurse(full time) is a mother of four beaufifull kids and has her husband ...she has a somali lady baby sit the kids , there will always be a somali mother on welfare who wants to baby sit to get the money

[Qac Qaac]

i don't know what it is, but it seems that u guys when u hear HOUSE WIFE, some of u just get mad for no reason. i really agree with concious manipulation. and i wish we had many girls who think like, the devorce rate won't be as hig as it is right now, if we had girls who think the way u do.

 

dimond princess, i really don't agree with u. damn. u r contradiction urself. dawaco good topic u start.

 

at the end only the practicing muslims women, who didn't get brainwashed. will win. now argue all u want girls.

[SomeAlien]

i think it depends on alot of things, what career you choose, who youre married to,how many kids youll have and when youll have em. i dont think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mom, but i also think that education is important (a requirement really).besides traditional women can be super women too, they home school, give to the community, are role models etc. it really depends on what youlldo.teachers,doctors, professors, shop owners, writers, artists, scientist... women/mothers can be these things,but if youre more interested in a promotion, or a bonus than your family i.e staying long hours in the work place, than thats gonna be a problem.

[Valenteenah.]

Somealien, I agree with you...especially on traditional women being superwomen. In more ways than one. I think being a stay@home mum is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you have a lot of kids. Being a professional career-woman is somewhat easier in my perspective. You only have one thing to concentrate on...your career, rather than the 101 things mothers/housewives are expected to do on a daily basis.

 

Personally, I don't see marriage and kids as an end onto themselves. They are not my only goal, they are not even a priority for me at the moment. However, nobody really knows what the future holds for them. I only wish and fervently hope that I'm able to achieve some, if not all, of my goals. Allah willing.

 

I don't think there's any reason for any woman to restrict her choices or aspirations to one thing or another. Everybody should realise their potential, male or female.

[underdog]

Ism't it like two sides of the same coin...these days in order to saty true to your tradition you sorta have to be a modern superwoman....

[Modesty]

I don't think its fair to generalize people. I also think the word "modern" is being abused to exhaustion. In my opinion, everyone is modern because we all have most likely seen television, used computers, and have cars.Can a traditional person not be modern? What is your definition of modern? If a woman doesn't want to get married, that her choice, not society. And it doesn't necesarily mean if you're pursuing a career that you can't fulfil a marriage,there are alot of flexible ways that both can be managed.

[Reality Check]

Let me put it this way:

 

 

My mom had a career and did a good job raising us, too!

 

I think the reason some women think they can't handle both is because they have been brain-washed by parents and men to think that way.

 

Would you go to post-graduate school only to raise kids for the rest of your life..and clean up after you husband, who has his own career and is sure as hell ain't worrying about no kids!

 

How fullfilling would life be ?

 

 

Somealien and Bee,

 

I understand what you are saying and somewhat agree....but this society needs BOTH parents working in order to have a decent living. If we were back in Somalia, being a stay at home would be more feasible...but here...it's a different story.

 

Qac Qaac,

 

All in the name of Islam, huh? See girls, that's exactly what I was talking about. Bruh, did you know that nabi mohammed (pbuh) used to work for KHADIJAH? maybe someday your wife will be the boss of you!

 

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[Changed]

salam caleykom peeps

i would have a career and take care of my kids , am not going to be a stay at home mom cuz god knows i did not go to school 14 (now) and not going to go (6) to be a doctor and sit at home to clean and cook for a man, i will work and be married and have kids and raise my kids ..i agree with opinionated women can have kids/ career at the same time ...