Too modernized!!!

[ayaanick]

Yes exactly what the title says. I was born in xudur, don't remember much about it, what the heck I don't remember much about Toronto, and I lived there not long ago. But you ever wonder how we keep chaning, moving, always on the go. I don't how I became who I am, I just know I am who I am. You see I always hear this phrase a bit too much...especially from Somali men.."that your too modernized" what?? How can a girl from Xudur, and still is as Somali as any somali is...be too modernized? What is it? Is it the way I speak? The way I think? The way I treat others? What is it about me that is too modernized...of course I don't expect anyone in here to answer that for me, but it just was a thought flowing in my head. Men say I am challenging...chalenging? hmm...Am I challening because I can tell you the truth without any hesitation..is that it? Speaking of men..The men who had made me who I am today is six feed under the earth. May Allah bless his soul. Maybe I take my father with me ever where I go. My father wasn't your typical father..he really shaped me for life. He always gave me that feeling that I can, be anything I wanted to be, that I never had to answer to anyone. As long as I hold true to my ground, people will fallow. Maybe..that's it...men, and I don't mean to be picking at you guys, but I sense that you guys are a bit insecure about yourselves..therefor you try to control the other person, and if you don't have that..feel like a failer...maybe I am wrong, but then again that just how I feel. You see me, I am me regardless of what the situation is. I won't act like angel, and be a b''''another minute. I know me too well, and love me to well to pretend to be something I am not. So to sum it up...Men..don't be too afraid of something that you have no idea of....And I am talking about usssssssss....Women who have their heads in the right places........sorry if I had offended anyone...

[Dhimbil]

Most girls are "too modern" now days, atleast for me. I think girls should be more like their mothers, grandmothers, cuz women of old days had it. Girls can be 'Modern' and decent but it depends on how they carry themselves, attitudewise. I have seen girls who try to be 'modern' by bieng on your face, agrassive,confrontational, which I don't consider good traits.

 

As long as I hold true to my ground, people will fallow

Don't you think, its better to let others lead sometimes?..for the benefit of both parties, atleast sometimes.

[Faheema.]

illmatic . Are you saying we should “shut up and put up” whatever you(somali men)say?

Most of our mothers and grandmothers were very restricted in-terms of expressing their opinions. However, times have changed, and it doesn’t mean we have lost respect for our men nor does it mean that we (somali woman) are abrasive or belligerent. As Ayaanick says, we still have our values and our morals. It just so happens that we can and will express our opinions openly. So, if some of you (somali men) find that intimidating, then so be it.

 

One can move with the time without having to let time move them. You can’t expect generation after generation to stay the same, is not socially feasible.

[Dhimbil]

Shayma:

illmatic . Are you saying we should “shut up and put up” whatever you(somali men)say?

^^When did i say that? Ukhtee, there is no need for you to misinterpet my point. What you consider "restricting" I consider it "respecting". Our mothers weren't belligerent doesn't mean they were obedient or "restricting". They clearly knew when to be aggresive to get what they sought, unlike some girls today. Our fathers respected their women more than the men of today, wondering why.

 

Shayma:

we still have our values and our morals

^^Well, than i wasn't reffering to you. My concerns are those who have lost their values and morals. It seems you turning this into gender war "you men" "us women" kind of topic, which wasn't my intention. I love my sisters as they are our backbone but pointing out some of the problems, don't mean i want them to be obedient or subservant to me.

 

adios

[lol]

To me definitions vary as far as modernatization is concerned.. but yes I have seen alot of girls that are too modern... to me as well.. I am not gonna claim traditions but I am more Somali than the majority... isn't that right illmatic ?? U know me here...

 

Ayaanick stay true to urself.. if u r too modern for this faarax u might be too traditional for another...Who knows the world works like that..But if I give u little advice... Yes you are too modern "Don't eat me.. I am just kidding girlfriend"

[shyhem]

Originally posted by ayaanick:

So to sum it up...Men..don't be too afraid of something that you have no idea of

Thats like telling to put my hand in a snake hole. You have no idea of yap u're right sister and in that case i have the right to be scared of a women whose background i have no idea.

[Faheema.]

illmatic. In some ways you’ve answered yourself when you said…

 

“Our fathers respected their women more than the men of today,”

 

Which, I agree totally. There is a lack of respect for each other in today’s age group. However, I don’t think that should be classed as being “too modernized”. It would probably be more appropriate to use the term westernized. Though, it is more individualism than anything else.

 

p.s

I am not turning this into a “gender war” as you put it. I was simply stating my view with regards to your previous statement in which you were not clear, but reading your second post, I see where you coming from.

 

Ciao

[OG Moti]

hey ayanick my father was born in xudur he says it is a beautiful town.. and hey my grandpa is bared there... and i even hear people there visit his grave cause he was a big sheikh... one day inshaAllah i will go there and check..

peace

[ayaanick]

Thanks everyone. It was something that kept coming up on my relations with men, and was just wondering if I was somehow in wonderland. I totally understand that, the world we live in today isn't the world that our mother lived. I am just trying to live my life the best way I know how, and if that might seem too modern for some people then let it be.

 

Ilmatic: You know me better then everyone in here...and you had that to say? I am a natural born leader...(and so are you?)..(grin) has nothing to do with me being too modern dear!

 

Hibo: I missed you, you might not beleive, but honest to Allah I missed you. I miss your witty sense of humor! I hope your doing well, and yes I can give you this much, you are more somali then I((((We all miss you Hibo Lucky says))))...

[Macalin]

Ayanick..Asalaam aleykum

 

I hope U dont expect to Live in a ever 70 degrees town by the Name of AyanickVille...What am tryna say is the basis of relationships are and is about being Who U are 100% and compromising on the Other Hand.

 

When U say U was born in Xudur,It really doesnt say Much abt Whho U are, coz its is possible that even tho u was born in Xudur U might have not brought Xudur with U(the recipricol of ..u can take the villager out of the village but the village never left him!)

 

About Men(R u sure u not talkin abt Boys)..if U use More english than somali Then U are probably more modern than Ur average Ayan!..

 

I wish I could know U to make my Judgement..but Relax Men are a complex creature..stay tru and Maybe for a change see what it feels like to be LED(it doesnt hurt!).

 

iLLmattic...I suggest U leave Shayma Alone..shes in a mood for a gender War, U are way too Cool,,namean

[Faheema.]

Lakkad:

 

Somalidu waxay ku maah maahdaa “Afjooga looma adeego”

[Dhimbil]

Shayla..lakkad is sujuu somali sayings are no use, ujilci af somaaliga lol, anyway you seem to differentiate being modern and being western. What exactly makes one western but not modern. I thought if one is western, he/she is modern compared to the average somali. Basicaly, both words can be used interchangeably, they are two sides of the same coin, don't you think?

 

Hibo, yes you're more somali than average xaliimo.

 

Ayan, my comments above were regarding somali girls in general, not any particular person. Also, being modern and being leader are two things. There are few women leaders in our history, Xawotaako being one. So being leader doesn't necessarily equate modernation.

 

Lakkad..thanks sxb

tho u was born in Xudur U might have not brought Xudur with U(the recipricol of ..u can take the villager out of the village but the village never left him!)

looooooooool, I thought it was u can take the person out of the gheto but u can't take the gheto out of the person.

 

adios

[DA_BEAST]

Originally posted by ayaanick:

Men..don't be too afraid of something that you have no idea of....And I am talking about usssssssss....Women who have their heads in the right places........sorry if I had offended anyone...

that's bit off the mark don't you think so Ayaanik?

why would we wanna be scared of a woman who does all the things for herself?

personally i am happy to infrom that the girl i'm seeing right now is working while i'm a student and i don't have any problem if she pays the bills everytime we go out as she wouldn't have had any problem if i was in her place!

my point is you can't say in your right mind that all women are the same at the reason that you can't say all men are the same!

we all have those odd ones amongst us but does that mean they can all represent us in our millions?

that's exactly what i thought!

[Qac Qaac]

I just think, personally girls are more naive then man. specially our women somalian women that is. with all do respect, most of the girls, and i don't like to judge are too modernized meaning too cadaan, meaning left ur culture, meaning if we marry u, u won't raise our kids as a somali u would raised the as cadaan.

see girls are naive, they watch movies, romantic scene, see a white guy giving a rose to his girlfriend, lidding the candles, taking her to places like paris, and they (our girls) most of them not all of them, say see they are romantic. and automatically jump to conclusion and say Somali men are not romantic, coz they didn't see Somali guys being romantic in a movie

so sisters, with all do respect we men, and i am talking on be half of men, want our women to be traditionally keep their culture, and Islam, doesn't mean coz we want them to keep them in the houses but actually. women are the teacher for our kids they have a big role, they are the mothers sent the sons to dugsi quran not the fathers, they keep the tradition, but if she acts like cadaan, and sorry if i used that word, i am not being recist. then we would have disfunctional families like the cadaans do.

see our girls don't know that white guys, hit the bottle of the beer with their women, coz he lost a bet, or a game. but u still consider them romantic.

 

therefore inconclusion i think, most of the women are naive, except the salihaat, those who keep their religion adn their iman. u wearing big belt, and showing ur lower stomach doesn't make u, and educated person

[bilan]

salaam

first of all qaqa you should not use the word most, because you do not really know most of us. also when people use the word modern what does it mean?in my opinion there nothing called modern, there are people both genders who are westernized, but i can not really find a definition for the word modernized.