Ms MoOns Posted November 15, 2010 @ Juxa: Girl, thanks for the tips, appreciate it abaayadiis @ Ibtisam: I’ll keep the pre-set venue idea in my mind, thanks sis. @ Chimera: You’re right; I’ll try not to get overboard. Lakiin, aniga waxaa ahay someone who doesn’t buy stuff that I can’t afford. No worries on that. ---- I think I’m going for a separated wedding, so ladies only all the way Hopefully, it’ll be FUN and not chaotic. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted November 15, 2010 ^^Good luck sis, I hope you have the wedding of your dreams, congrats! Aaliyah, the wedding is just one day, and your right a person is entitled to cherish it for the rest of their lives, but should that come at the expense of the 364 other days of the year that follow? I never stated a person shouldn't have a beautiful wedding, but if you know in advance that spending £50,000 could lead to serious trouble, why ignore it? If your financially stable, perfect go for it!, but if your not, and on top of that expensive wedding are planning on getting a house of your own, new furniture etc etc you could easily see yourself fall in the black hole of a serious debt crisis, this destroys marriages, this destroys families, no amount of staring at that picture album of your wedding that you cherish so much will change that reality. I personally don't believe in this 'a day to cherish for the rest of your life' stuff, it sounds like your throwing in the towel before the marriage has even started; one day being exceptionally wonderful, the rest mediocre? A couple deserves more than that, you should recreate such a day atleast twice a year, and go on a new honeymoon atleast once every three years. Keep it fresh and exciting through calculated planning. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 15, 2010 ^I guess everyone is entitled for their own opinions.. Aniga I believe in everything...I dont even believe in one wedding..away islamaha xaflada lo dhigayo ay ku buraanburi lahayeeen..away arooski caadiga aha..iyo meherkii..away gurigi iyo furniturekii..aaway honeymoonki ..away gadhigi..waxba ma reeban..I want everything and all. And, yes he has to provide all hadii kale muxu faaido leeyahayn looool...But, inshallah with that been said I dont mind in helping out laakin I will try my best to marry a doctor or a lawyer so i dont have to loools... salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted November 15, 2010 Khayr insha-allah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted November 15, 2010 What are the rules of a proper nikah? && How much is a reasonable amount of mahr? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 15, 2010 I always thought it was pretty large amount of money. Till I watched meher video and the guy gave around 3k...I was whattt? looool... I honestly dont think there is strict money that you need to ask. Whatever you guys negotiate on..so it is flexible depends on his income. So let me ask kaad gursanasid how much he makes and based on that Ill decide for you? salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 16, 2010 I've attended quite a bit of weddings and what I remember are not the dresses, decorations, or even food, but how much fun I had with friends and family. Honestly, just plan a good time - don't stress out too much over it. P.S. I've always found the shaash-saar to be more fun than the wedding day. It's just a smaller group of close family/friends, the bride is happy/relaxed and finally cracks a non-posed smile, and everyone lets their hair down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ismalura Posted November 16, 2010 Originally posted by Aaliyyah: I always thought it was pretty large amount of money. Till I watched meher video and the guy gave around 3k...I was whattt? looool... I honestly dont think there is strict money that you need to ask. Whatever you guys negotiate on..so it is flexible depends on his income. So let me ask kaad gursanasid how much he makes and based on that Ill decide for you? salaam @ Aaliyah Afaaga kala qad ilkahaaga aan tiriyee miyaa? @ MsMoons meherka is up you but you have to decide according to the financial ability of your future husband. I never go to aroos so I have no concrete advice to add but I have observed from watching wedding tapes that people do 'popular' things that make them uncomfortable and they end up embarrassing them selves. just remember to be comfortable and relaxed. Hamabalyo and inshalah have a happy wedding and marriage . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oz Posted November 17, 2010 How many times have you not heard: "Marriage is once in a life-time event. There is no harm in being spendthrift. Moons this day belongs to you, make sure the people whom are running the show are qualified. after all it's your last day as a single lady. Ps: hope it goes well and lasts forever IA. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted November 17, 2010 Aaliyyah: You crack me up sxbeey Femme: I definitely agree with you. & I love the shaash-saar as well. Ismalura: Thank you. & I know what you mean. But I’m not planning on to base my aroos on other people’s satisfaction. Or embarrass myself by doing what other people find ‘’popular’’. Oz: Waad mahadsantahay --- I heard from someone that he had to pay 5000 (pound) to his wife. They’re 7 years married and he paid 3000 so far. He had to ask 3 times to lower the meher. She wouldn’t go less than 5000 Cause she wanted to beat her sisters and get the highest meher in her family. Honestly, I think that is ******. According to sunnah, our prophet (s.a.w.) gave each of his wives about 250. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 17, 2010 ^ 250? 250 pounds?? lol...let me convert that using the online converter. I got 405 canadian dollars..walahi dheh??? intaas kaliya ma ninkaaga waydiini..maadba ka qaleesid. That is better Kaftan aside, congratulation once again and do what feels right...it is your life after all. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted November 17, 2010 lol I didn't say I was gonna ask that much I was just comparing the two nooh lol Anyways, waa laga fikiraa Needs good thinking Thanks again sis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted November 18, 2010 No amount of money can validate your relationship. in fact the less you ask the more blessing you get marriage is not a burden, it is start of something beautiful ( ma i maqashan gabdhow) ask your grandmothers and they will tell you their meher was caday (tooth-brush)or a copy of the koran. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ismalura Posted November 18, 2010 @ Aaliyah 250 xiligaas was a lot of money dee. @ Ms Moons good luck with everything. @ Juxa waa run marriage is not supposed to be a burden and asking for a meher equivalent to your husband's annual salary is burdening him a lot. That said,the meher is the single most personal thing for a girl and it is wise to ask for wax kuusan ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted November 18, 2010 Juxa, that was what I was thinking as well. & then I heard these stories about girls asking for such large amount of Meher. It blew my mind. So if I got this right: the Meher that a man gives his wife can be in the form of cash, jewelry, or any other valuable asset. Am I correct? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites