‘Sorry Sweetheart, Here’s a New Wife’

[Ibtisam]

We all know when a man takes a second wife (in his heart), he no longer has that "can't live without you uncondtional love for his 1st wife" and if he doesn't have that (and apparently doesn't care to have it for her, anymore), then a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do! A smart woman would rather go blind then see the new xaajiyo take everything she ever worked so hard for. Not only emotional investment is at stake here, but a large chunk of change too (whether they're both working couple or not, it's still less income ) Demanding a divorce or walking away waa u n-a-c-a-s-nimo. Keeping in mind that some men quickly abandon their children and financial responsibilities after a divorce. So markaa ku dhimo wax kastaa kaligaa, maaha all the while asagu raaxaysanayo! Ehe' isma oran! Kill him with kindness ie; uunsi+ xaax will make him happy and financially secure for her L0L. It's amazing what a woman will do and put up with for her kids, to give them a shot at a happy future. Emotional roller coaster rides really have an effect on everyone involved.

 

Now if you try, you can find a lot of reasons (or excuses) for her wanting to stay or why she wants to keep her Farax or why she can't leave.

:eek: I hope you are kidding. :cool:

[-Lily-]

I’m afraid this ‘competing’ logic is seriously flawed. This ‘jiq uga dhig’ is once again about the man, always about the man, pleasing him, making it difficult for him, worshipping him, what the hell? You only have one life.

 

There is no need to destroy yourself just so you can make it ‘hard’ for him. What you have described is just a jazzed up, feel good way of allowing yourself to be walked all over when you should be enjoying the fruits of your labour and looking forward to quiet and exclusive life as the kids get older, but no, you have to compete with some other b*tch as if you were back in the dating game? Simply pathetic!

 

Furthermore, you can only fight for something when there is still something worth while to fight for, this man has rejected you, completely and utterly, oo maxa kuu dhiman? Degrading yourself with uunsi and sex? If that was enough he wouldn't be playing away from home to begin with.

 

As for the money, surely decades of marriage cannot be reduced to ‘monetary investments’? Save the uunsi & xaax for another Farax who will appreciate. And yes, these days it is possible.

 

 

Him: Salaamu calaykum

Her: Wa calaykumu salaam

Him: Iska warama,,,

Her: Waa khayre,,,,

Him: Dee arin yar baa kordhay,,,,

Her: Waar waraaqdaydii isii, waraaqdaydii isii

Him: Puts phone down,,,,,

Naag nasab ah iga dheh

 

p.s. I'm very much aware having 4 wifes is allowed in Islam, it's just not an option for my man, my dad, my brothers & any other man who is married to a female member of my family wixi kale shuqal igama galin.

[Ibtisam]

^^^Loool^

 

Furthermore, you can only fight for something when there is still something worth while to fight for, this man has rejected you, completely and utterly, oo maxa kuu dhiman? Degrading yourself with uunsi and sex? If that was enough he wouldn't be playing away from home to begin with.

 

As for the money, surely decades of marriage cannot be reduced to ‘monetary investments’? Save the uunsi & xaax for another Farax who will appreciate. And yes, these days it is possible.

I don't get people who try and hang on things that are clearly on their merry way out, best you can do is nicely show them the door, or if you donb't feel so nice just kick them thorough the door.

 

As for money, married or divorced, it is his duty to support his kids and give them a good life, otherwise adgia Allah has give you the ability to go and get your own money. :cool:

[Sharmarkee]

Originally posted by buuxo:

loool nephyst, desperate times call for desperate measures haye,sugbal aan notebookga aan soo-qaate

. I would of thought it would be easier to just get a new huband(one that would be better than him in every aspect).

Ta iyada ha ku daalin, ma jiro nin la mid ah ninkii hore e, maad qal, maah maahda gabarta carabeed ee tidhi, Wa Ma Al xubu ila xabiib al awal: ma jacayl kala jira kii xaajiga hore mooyaane.

She should say aakhirka danbe, waar bal guurso waxaad guursanyso maxaa inoo dan ah

[Jacaylbaro]

Wa ma al xubu ila xabiib al awal

 

 

CLASSIC ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, JUST CLASSIC

[N.O.R.F]

^^LoooooooL

[Ms DD]

Salaam aleykum

 

Apparently it has been proven that no one can beat the number one hubby. Kinda like a first love..you never forget it!

 

Lets hear from the married sisters on how they feel about this situation.

 

All i could see is the single gals oo fakfak badan That supercilious bravado facade existed at one time ..till reality hits you in the face.

[Jacaylbaro]

the single gals oo fakfak badan

[-Lily-]

Miss D&D, no one said it wouldn’t be devastating… I’m just a firm believer that a man you have fully given your all to should at the very least afford you some loyalty or a fair and square separation, this is not rocket science :rolleyes:

[Ibtisam]

Cambaro Lool @fakfak badan. Reality hits you in the face you say. I'm starting to think every married women goes through some sort of brainwashing clinic after marriage. Anago uubaad naaguu soo jeesansan. We are trying to help you guys keep your farah's in line.

 

Married sisters, be warned IF ANY of you halkaan islaa soo taagto the above absurd uunsi and sex theory, I will personally collect your farah take him to somalia, get him married and then post him back to you, just to see if you follow through or run for the hills

 

How strange that guys are being presented as objects that just be mainpuliated with uunsi and sex and new diirc. There really is not much to them after that is there, beats me why they cause so much misery for some people.

[Ms DD]

I will tell you no lie girls, I would be devastated, maybe throw few dabqaad in his way but As Bishaaro mentioned few post back, if i have kids and invested so much in this marriage, I would make sure that i dont lose it for the sake of kids. But If I am without kids, and he marries, then, maybe I would consider us going our seprate ways intaan dhexda dhuuqsado, indhokuulna dhac isku siiyo ayaan jikeyga ku dhici lahaa.

 

edit:

However i dont think i would find hubby like mine out there, perhaps I would stick with him. Better to be half-loved, than to never have loved.

[Ibtisam]

^^^^Woah. Reading your post Ms D&D I'm really not surprised guys get married again. I mean you might as well go and get him the new wife. If every guy feared he'd not only part with his 1st wife and his balls, I don't think the thought of a second wife would've even cross his mind.

 

But with the defeated attitude if it happens I'll fight his new wife and him with kindness and i cannot get any one better than him so I'll just stick with him, oh and plus we have kids. Then he really has no worries, gets a new wife, the old one trying her best, and running around trying to out do the new one. In fact why would any guy refuse that?

[Ms DD]

G

 

Shall we be honest here?

 

1- There arent many decent blokes out there i.e religious, educated, kind.

2- You hold on to the good ones Allah blessed you with.

3- Many sisters are without men. Mainly cos the good ones are taken, those available are younger or they dont want to marry men beneath them (in terms of decency, behaviour etc).

4- Kids needs father figure and a decent man wouldnt neglect his child. Broken home is never good for the children. They need the stability, security of a father and mother.

5- Bringing another man inthe house..imagine what this would do to the morale of the kids? Ever heard of a succesful union? What is the other option? Never to remarry?

 

So When Allah blesses you with a decent, sweet kind, generous educated, religious bloke, you make sure that none of you walk away from a good thing. If a man has a wife, kids etc he has no reason to marry another. But just in case that he does, he has to make sure that you get your rights from him and doesnt neglect you. If he does, then that would a ground for divorce. It is just not good to be haste. Hasty and wanton use of the right of divorce is regarded as most condemnable in Islam.

 

But in the end, it is different for every woman.

[Ibtisam]

Yes Ms D &D Yes Lets be honest,

1- There arent many decent blokes out there i.e religious, educated, kind.

This is simply not true, there are as many nice guys around as sisters. Guys are always complaining that there are less decent girls around, and girls claim there are not enough decent men. I know a lot of decent men and women

2- You hold on to the good ones Allah blessed you with.

I have no problems with this, clearly there would be hardships/ good times/ bad times etc. But if some one shows no consideration, acts like a complete idi*ot, then although the person can still be a “good person” you have to face the fact that they are just not good to you. I don’t see how u can call the above behavior (North friend, who calls his wife and says aarin yaar baa giritah) or the other dude who’s been married 17yrs) you’d think their wife’s deserve at least a notice.?

 

3- Many sisters are without men. Mainly cos the good ones are taken, those available are younger or they dont want to marry men beneath them (in terms of decency, behaviour etc).

As a muslimah you should be concerned for the benefit of the whole community and if you are kind enough to offer your husband another wife that is your call, I have no issue with that, what I have issues with is women who clearly disapprove, hate it, it is making their life a misery, her and the husband barley talk, yet they remain married, and she kicks him out every other week. I mean make up your damn mind, you want him out or in.

 

4- Kids needs father figure and a decent man wouldnt neglect his child. Broken home is never good for the children. They need the stability, security of a father and mother.

If he is so decent he will not neglect his child regardless of marriage. Broken homes are not good for kids, but nor is dysfunctional parents that are always arguing, swearing or even physical fighting as is common in many house holds. This will damage the child more in the long run.

 

5- Bringing another man inthe house..imagine what this would do to the morale of the kids? Ever heard of a succesful union? What is the other option? Never to remarry?

I’m sorry what are you implying, That it is immoral for a women to remarry and bring her husband home? Or that it causes kids confusion, sorry but having two mums is just as confusing and in both situation it takes adjusting to. If your new husband is better than your last, your child might even have a better life/ future.

 

Each to their own indeed.

[Abwaan]

Originally posted by -Lily-:

Just for Anemia? Must be way more serious than that. Second wife kulaha, caruurta dhan ba ha wada dhintaan. This is way too generous...

loooooooool...halka xanaaq ah day. Calm down Lily waxaa moodaab in adi lagula aroosay. Plus the first wife voluntarily accepted this how brave anigu waanba la yaabanahay ee adigu celi beeca.

 

 

Originally posted by buuxo:

looooool, smart move, she knew he was going to do it anyway. so she decided i better get him one i could get along with and control

lol...buuxo ar adigana maskiinkaan ha iska eedayn ee sug. Tolow hadduu offer-ka diidi lahaa maxaad dhihi lahayd?