Endeavour Posted July 20, 2006 Finally you found yourself the perfect brother. Handsome young charismatic pious and even a great smile that will make you melt You love him he loves you. Your family loves him , the one you have been searching for all your life . You finally found him ( or he found you whatever the case maybe). Here at your feet is the 'golden man'. Allah blessed him with both akhlaaq and deen. Too good to be true! He thinks you are the girl he has been looking for. Things go smooth no bumps along the way. You both decide this is it, marriage next. He expects nothing form you other than to be a stay home mum. He wishes you stay home and not work , look after him and his children. What would you do? Freak out yell I did not finish a four year degree to be a stay home mum . Or would you kindly keep quite be happy you find a wonderful brother. So sisters my question is how many of you would drop their careers for the golden boy and how many of you will refuse to be a stay home mum. BTW there is nothing wrong with being a stay home mum. No stress carefree life , look pretty all day since you have all the time in the world why not turn to your diin? I mean there are advantages and disadvantages both ways right? So what would you do? if your future spouse demands you will not work full-time or part-time. And out of curiousty how many brothers will demand their wives stay home? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted July 20, 2006 I don't know why any mother wouldn't want to stay with her kids until they start grade or preschool - then she can work around those times. But if it's a newborn to 4-5 yrs old, what's the point of letting someone else raise your baby? I would gladly stay home, then work when my child(ren) start school. But someone asking me to stay at home forever has some serious issues he needs to raise with his therapist. Anyway, if you bend backward for a man, he's going to shove you down and walk all over you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intel Posted July 20, 2006 Originally posted by Warsan: if you bend backward for a man, he's going to shove you down and walk all over you. rubbish Warsan (splendid name BTW) husband should lead and wife should follow…unconditionally it is the natural way dee as for Endeavour Q... whichever is in the best interest of the family dear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted July 20, 2006 LoL... I can't think of a more funny scenario. I talk about my work ceaselessly. I even dream about it. Why just last night, I was having a nightmare about drafting an invitation letter to the Mayor, but then I couldn't remember how to address her...was it 'Dear Mayor Heblaayo'? No, it couldn't be, far too simple. Nothing is that simple in Local govt-land. Perhaps it was 'Dear Cllr Heblaayo'? Or maybe 'Dear your excellency Cllr Heblaayo...'? OMG....what if I addressed her incorrectly and she refused to attend the event? My manager would kill me. I was going to be fired. OMG...who would pay off my Credit Card then? Did I even have Loss of Income insurance? Did I heck. Oh why didn't I get some? WHY? Whyyyyy? And then the alarm rang. Point is, he would probably know how important my job was to me before he even knew my name. If he is still sticking around after that, it certainly won't be because he wants me to stay at home. Unless home is a mental institute. But we won't go there. @ Rokko. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Resistance Posted July 20, 2006 Wat a bliss the options these women have. if the roles are reversed, bleive me i would jump at the opporunity to say at home .... wake up , send kids to school, come bak, sleep , catch up with my 'lady' mates ... gosh imagine all time the u will have to follow ur hoppies, play computer games. AM more than willing to be 'stay at home' Hussie, All you ladies who wanna contunie to work am willing to do the home workd, how hard can it really be unless i marry four wives and have to keep four houses in top notch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted July 20, 2006 Stay at home!!! what, who, me.. hell no. i will get bored out of my mind, in fact i would probably die. work is my life, even on my days off, i still work. I think the reasons people (married couples) have problems is because the women stays at home all day by her self, and when he gets in tried from work, she talks his ear off about how long it too her to make lunch, and how she made it. then the resentment starts from there.... she thinks she is not getting enough attention, he is like "give me a break, I've been working all day, you did jack all". she is like "how dare you!! it took me 2hrs to cook today and another 2hrs to clean, not to mention your endless shirts i ironed" :eek: :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oz Posted July 20, 2006 The West loves to make us feel inferior due to our choices, yet given the same choices, they look to reach what we have.there are question to be answered - 1)How are we going to educate our children by giving them to strangers? We should not allow the failure of the West to change us from our basic nature. PS: every magazine you come across talks about the failure of "quality time" with children. Children do not need quality time, they need a physical presence that will guide and mold them, and that presence is not a babysitter who really does not care about the values she instills,both partners shouldn't be greedy-think about the future of your children Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted July 20, 2006 Endeavour, its not that complicated, the way I see it. What do you want to do? Whatever your answer is, whether it is to be a stay at home wife (and stay-at-home mum later) or a working woman (throughout your life or making sacrifices for your family when the need arises), I think the choice should be solely yours. There are those woman who cant see themselves happy in the work-force and there are those that cant imagine their daily conversations revolving around house-work and the like. Whatever you decide and think will be the best option for you, the brother should work with you on that and not impose anyhing on you.. it will only make you resent him in the long run. Marriage is supposed to enhance your life and your own view of how you imagined to live it.. not restrict it or give you tough engraved-in-stone choices to make. Also, ask yourself, is your decision to go and work only financial? And if the brother offers to fulfill that, why would you want to work? Personally for me, working will probably never be about finance in the long run but making a positive contribution to the community I'm part of. And for that, you need not be staying home all the time or be stuck in a 9-5 role (which I view as equally pathetic ways to live your entire life ). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted July 20, 2006 Originally posted by rokko: quote:Originally posted by Warsan: if you bend backward for a man, he's going to shove you down and walk all over you. rubbish Warsan (splendid name BTW) husband should lead and wife should follow…unconditionally it is the natural way dee who talked about a mental institute...Rokko..I beg you join in.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Didi Kong Posted July 20, 2006 That would seriously infringe upon the values and principles my parents raised me with. Everyone should be independent plus balancing things at home and work should make people feel more useful anyway. Staying at home all the time makes people lazy and unhappy yep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElPunto Posted July 20, 2006 Originally posted by ibtisam: I think the reasons people (married couples) have problems is because the women stays at home all day by her self, and when he gets in tried from work, she talks his ear off about how long it too her to make lunch, and how she made it. then the resentment starts from there.... she thinks she is not getting enough attention, he is like "give me a break, I've been working all day, you did jack all". she is like "how dare you!! it took me 2hrs to cook today and another 2hrs to clean, not to mention your endless shirts i ironed" :eek: :rolleyes: A little too pat, no?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Socod_badne Posted July 20, 2006 I wholeheartedly agree. Never before have truer words been elegantly expressed. A real and strong woman knows her place to be home. Only the weak-minded are seduced by meretricious trappings of independence, equality and the rest of Kufr shenanigans. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted July 20, 2006 ^^^is that so :rolleyes: You mean those real women, the four house wifes you speak about, who are willing, futhermore, happy to share u SB. sorry i thought she was asking about the real, no i mean real normal women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted July 20, 2006 Originally posted by Endeavour: Too good to be true! Yep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted July 20, 2006 Originally posted by Endeavour: Finally you found yourself the perfect brother. Handsome young charismatic pious and even a great smile that will make you melt You love him he loves you. Your family loves him , the one you have been searching for all your life . You finally found him ( or he found you whatever the case maybe). Here at your feet is the 'golden man'. Allah blessed him with both akhlaaq and deen. Too good to be true! He thinks you are the girl he has been looking for. Things go smooth no bumps along the way. You both decide this is it, marriage next. He expects nothing form you other than to be a stay home mum. He wishes you stay home and not work , look after him and his children. What would you do? Freak out yell I did not finish a four year degree to be a stay home mum . Or would you kindly keep quite be happy you find a wonderful brother. So sisters my question is how many of you would drop their careers for the golden boy and how many of you will refuse to be a stay home mum. BTW there is nothing wrong with being a stay home mum. No stress carefree life , look pretty all day since you have all the time in the world why not turn to your diin? I mean there are advantages and disadvantages both ways right? So what would you do? if your future spouse demands you will not work full-time or part-time. And out of curiousty how many brothers will demand their wives stay home? There are several issues to be determined here: why does he want a stay-at-home mom? If he loves you so, and you wanted to work or pursue education, would he be opposed? Would he leave you if you still wanted to pursue work or education? Obviously, if he wants me to stay at home just so i can feed him and his kids, he doesn't need me...he needs a damn maid Also, he would not be the so-called "golden" boy But more of the overbearing, overcontrolling, sexist type. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
