La-y-La Posted January 6, 2004 Asalaamu aleykum What if there was a person who loves you dearly, who is educated,and is willing to go an extra mile for you............. > > > ...........but you had no interest whatsoever in them, how would you deal with that? How would you folks out there deal with these kinda situations?, I mean sometimes it is usually easy to say no thanks, but what good would it do if the person keeps insisting that maybe in time you will grow to luv them. anyway, hope to hear ur opinions on this!!!! Asalaamu aleykum..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyDotNet Posted January 6, 2004 Wasalaam sis ‘What if there was a person who loves you dearly, who is educated,and is willing to go an extra mile for you’ ? …Sis I missed the part where there is a problem .. (kidding)… Sounds like someone who cares, but I’ve always said it’s either there or not. So if you feel maybe you can grow to love this person, give them the chance, if you feel otherwise, keeping doing what u doing and just make sure you are clear with your feelings, the last thing you want to do is send mixed signals to someone who has made their intentions clear. Best of luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
x_quizit Posted January 6, 2004 They can luv u as dearly as they want, but if ur heart is not in it, what's the point of giving a chance to something that doesn't exist? Also it won't be fair to them because u have no interest in them and u are only with them b/c they love u, a one sided relationship doesn't work, in fact, that's not even a relationship, its more like u are using them for the feelings they give u w/o reciprocating them, maybe because the person u wanna be with isn't able to provide that for u. Who wants to be with someone who desn't love them back? doesnt make sense to me. Why would u be with someone u don't love just because they love u? Some say that with time comes love, but the initial attraction/chemistry has to be there for u to give them a chance to grow on u, but for most ppl, u know initially if that's a person ud like to get to know better or if its not ur type at all. As fas the them insisting that in time u would like them back, its kinda sad that they would stick around for feelings that u may never give back to them, so those ppl i say move on and expend that energy and love to someone who wants it from them, not on an imaginary "would be lover". Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La-y-La Posted January 6, 2004 thx both of ya for ur inputs. I guess I would probably feel sorry for them, but that wouldnt mean I would start something wit them out of sympathy. Anyway, peace. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nafta Posted January 6, 2004 hey maryan this is a nice thread sis. i'm gonna have to agree with xquizit on this one, she's right in saying that a one-sided relationship won't work at all, it would definitly not be fair on that person to string the other one along, all you would be doing is taking all the love that person has to give while giving nothing back, and even if you would convince yourself that you would be able to love them back in return, it would lead to the same thing. why would you have to convince yourself that you love a person in the first place? in both cases, you would end up hurt because you set yourself in a trap (getting into something that's not that easy to get out off) and it didnt work out. to me it would be a time waste and dissapointing because getting myself into a relationship that seems to be one-sided is not my ideal relationship and what good would it do if you can the meantime find yourself a hubby that you can love and that can love you back P.S. does this situation actually apply to you or are you in fact in this kinda situation, or am i just being a normal nosy somali woman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted January 7, 2004 Asalaamu Calaykum. .... the initial attraction/chemistry has to be there for u to give them a chance to grow on u, but for most ppl, u know initially if that's a person ud like to get to know better or if its not ur type at all. i totally disagree,may be in hollywood,yes!There are people who known eahc other for a long time as friends,, no chemistry, nothing ,, and one day fall in love , get married and live happily. For those who love u,, u are lucky, i advice u to take the extra mile with them,, u will never know wat will be there,,and at the end , u will not regret,,by the way people don't date thinking that for sure u will endup together,, life is short.... if u are not upto for this adventure, tell them the truth,hopefully they will understand. bye now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted January 7, 2004 Someone once told me "Jacely labadeena nagufilan anaa noo hayo"...Now, how could that be possible...How could one have enough luv for two... N'way, just be true to your feelings...I believe in chances...So give the guy a break...But if he's ugly, no thanks...(Just KIDDING)... If you know 100% that you have no interest in him in any way, shape or form, girl tell him NO!!! If he still insists, just cut him out of your life...Cuz obviously he ain't respecting your decision...And you don't want someone who doesn't respect your decisions around to pressure you... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La-y-La Posted January 7, 2004 Nafta, if u must know yeah, me is in that kinda situation. Anyway, it is just that I have no desire no interst like I said b4 for this guy, war hedhe I told him many times, aint nuting ever gonne BE between us. A few months later he is back asking me the same question and the funny thing is that I have told him straight out that "I aint attracted to you, let alone have a future with you" How harsh can I be? He keeps repeating, that he will just wait for me to change ma mind someday and the question is, when will that be? coz I am pretty sure I aint gonna change ma mind anytime soon. Anyay, xiddig, I agree with you, but friends are different, I mean you see you had time to get to know them thats why it is not that hard. asalaamu aleykum!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SafiaLuuL612 Posted January 8, 2004 I really don't mean to be negative, but none of those qualities that you mentioned matter unless you feeling that person like crazy. I mean if you don't get the butterflies in the stomach, that excitement of seeing them, and that feeling that nothing and no one else matters---it won't feel real no matter what, and you would probably end up leaving whoever this person is and hurting them when the person that do give you those feelings that I mentioned above even if his qualities are not as good as the one you speak of now. Trust me, I been there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La-y-La Posted January 8, 2004 thx girl, u are right about that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted January 8, 2004 Walahi anigu ma garanayo dumarka somaliyeed ula jeedadooda, ma iney nadhibaan bey damceen, mise iyagaa u abuurmay iney raga somaliyeed dhibaan, war ileen tanookale, sidani si maba aha, Markaan weydiino .. How Would you know If she is the one? see what she says below Somali LAdy: she said what do you mean the one, kibirka iska dhaaf, dumarka aad kuciyaari iska daa, majiraan wax layiraahdo the one.. qofkaad kahesho waa laraaacaa.. and she finished her sentances with "Ala kani suaal xumaa" walee waa doqon Hadana waxey kuley hiin What if there was a person who loves you dearly, who is educated,and is willing to go an extra mile for you............. ...........but you had no interest whatsoever in them, how would you deal with that? Extra mile what is that? marrage? hayaay nin baa lagaadayaa .. tolow waa kuma... Extra miles kulahaa, anagey nooga dhigayaan in ey axsaan noo sameeyeen markey aqbalaan guur.... war ileen tanookale, Guur waa maxay? Nin caqli badan, wax bartay, oo isku filan oo muslim fiican ah, how come u are not interested, naga daaya ciyaarta, ee population aan badinee .. guurka yeela .. oo sidan si isu dhaama, sidan si ma aha, somalia waxba kama harin, waxaaba lagayaabaa in Somalida lagu daro endangered species by 2006, dying out, subject to extinction .. marka naga daaya sidan... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuCkY Posted January 8, 2004 LoooL...LoooL...LoooL!!! Looks Like Mr.Moti is back in the House stiLL with the intent to Understand Women...LoL. Maryan---Looks Like Most of What I was gonna say has aLready been covered so I wont be redundant and repeat...I wouLdnt go for it IF i had absoLuteLy no Interest what-so-ever in this guy...it aint Right nor Fair besides it couLd be disasterous. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted January 8, 2004 Maryan... Whatever you do, just remember it's best to treat ppl as you would like to be treated should you be in their position, because as theys say "what goes around, comes around". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted January 8, 2004 Bee Wise Advice. What is with the boys these days! we are all becoming too mellow and our sisters rock hard! perhaps it the estrogen in the water! Thus Spake I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nafta Posted January 8, 2004 LOL^^ sophist Moti, hal wax ayaan kugu dhahaa....adinka si isku dhama, oo dumarka mexey qabtaan hadey wilashii ee kala yaalan? Midkiiba sil-silad baas jiidayo oo kuhayo "wat up G"....intaas baan noolahay ee waligey manaan arkin wiil somali aan dhaho ileen kan wuu quman yahay....midkasta wax ba si ka ah....kuwii oo xooga aad isdhahid 'hmm he looks okay' waa qamriyoole, wax mabaranin, oo habeen kasta gabar kale ayuu kuhaya. Now u ask us...guur yela oo populationka badiya...i answer u back...naf isku yeela ee make us girls proud... For maryan, i agree with bee on too....treat the guy the way u want to be treated...lay him off nicely Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
