When a woman is lying

[shyhem]

I guess all they do is lie,atleast i may say some of 'em.Too bad it is easy to predict a pretty lady than u'r local whether forecast.

 

 

 

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When a woman is lying....

 

We have been socialised to believe that men are habitual liars especially in matters of the heart, but what about women? OYUNGA PALA shows how they, too, have perfected the game

 

Men lie. No doubt about it and usually it is because although honesty is the best policy, lying is a great substitute. Telling a woman that you don't find her that interesting after one night out because she is boring isn't easy.

 

You just think differently about her now that you realise she genuinely believes that she can lose her pot by drinking hot water with lemon. Tell her you think she isn't your type and you have nothing in common, other than the fact that you are from the same species, and you will have unleashed fury of untold proportions. She will demand reasons, "Is there someone else? Is it something I did, Is it my figure?... the usual tirade. For centuries, men have been made to look like the natural liars, while women have continued to walk around with a halo around their heads.

 

But women lie too and the only difference is that theirs is so calculated, you would never guess. Secondly they have the ability to sustain a lie, so unsuspecting males will be left in the dark for eons before they realise they have been had. I have done my research and one of the best sites to pick out female guiles is an all girl nights out. Don't ask me how I got access to an all-female gathering. Let's just say, I am very resourceful and I did not have to disguise myself as a female. The conversation starts with the usual trivia. They compare household utensils down to their prices then hop on to trading new beauty secrets, into the gossip, who is shagging who, before finally settling on the main theme of the discussion; the men in their lives and what they are not doing. So if you are a man in relationship, you might want to read on.

 

Sports is fun:

 

Women just do not get sports and the few that watch it, do it for totally misplaced intentions. The only reason soccer has caught on is because of legs. The two of you may be cheering but for totally different reasons. The man is acknowledging football artistry; the woman has just spotted leg. I have met a girl who told me, she is an Arsenal supporter. I asked her why and she goes, "They are so cute?" That's why cricket won't really hit in the female circles. Those boys are over dressed.

 

Women watch sports mainly to gain acceptance so the reason she sits right through the entire duration of the match is because she really likes you and expects you to show the same consideration when she goes shopping.

 

You are so understanding:

 

At the back of their minds, every woman knows that most men will never understand the female mind even if it hit them riding in a big red bus.

 

Women just don't favour logic when it comes to dealing with problems. If something is bothering them, they want to talk, whine and ***** about it and your role in this exchange, Bozo! Is to hold her and totally agree with everything she says. But men never did fathom that one. So we quickly unleash logic and look for quick solutions. You missed the boat by a river, pal! She knows the answers. She just wants to be heard, so the bottom line is you don't understand jack!

 

Your family is great:

 

She hates your mother, she can't stand the way your brother looks at her and she thinks your side of the family is eating up all the money, yet her side has more genuine cases. It's an age-old rivalry and wife believes that since she is sleeping with you, you are her exclusive property. Your mother clearly remembers wiping your bottom and has secretly vowed that no woman is going to take advantage of her (35-year-old) baby. Both camps want you to take sides so neutrality isn't going to work.

 

Your mates are so funny:

 

If she had her word on this issue, she would ask your mates to get a life and start spending more time with their families and give her hubby a break. She hates the fat one, because he is always hungry which means every time he shows up, she has to whip up something from the kitchen.

 

The other two, she just doesn't genuinely trust, because they are

 

womanisers and God forbid! they could be leading her husband astray. Friends are great but don't ever be under the illusion that your wife or girlfriend shares your enthusiasm to hang out with them all the time.

 

It doesn't matter how much money you make:

 

Rule number 1, it would be a soundly great idea, if you made more money than she did because no matter how accommodating she is at the beginning, it will be an issue. Women in this country generally believe they are having a raw deal if they take care of the bulk of the bills. It is for that reason that cheating husbands with financial muscle always get the pardon. If you are a broke dude, with a wandering eye, and get caught, you will be out of that front door, before you can even say, "Honey!" Women want security and finance is one way to cover that concern.

 

I don't care what you think of my figure:

 

Ooh, trust me, it bothers her, especially after the twins. So if she asks that dreaded question about her figure, reach for, "No comment". Either way, you are sunk. You can't tell her she looks great because as far as she is concerned, she will never again be the size 12 woman you fell in love with. So you decide to tell the truth about her hippo belly and she will suggest you try carrying twins for nine months.

 

I don't feel insecure when you hang out with Julie:

 

That's Julie, your colleague from the office. The one with the longest legs, a waist that would put a mosquito to shame and a face which suggests that the grass is definitely greener on her side of the fence. Women do not trust your professional female colleagues, especially if they are single and good looking. So my suggestion is, try and act less enthusiastic next time you and Julie are lined up for a corporate function.

 

I like you the way you are:

 

She just gave up trying to change you. First, she thinks your

 

ever-expanding gut is killing the little that is left of her sex life. As for those little irritating habits, like leaving your shoes all over the place, let's just thank the system for putting a rein on firearm licensing. Women always believe they can change a man and when that doesn't happen, the heat is all on you.

 

You are the greatest:

 

In bed, that is. If you are expecting her to tell you you are lousy and thanks to your appalling ratings in that department, she has given every spot on the bedroom ceiling a pet name, you are plain ignorant. Ooh! And that thing about size. Take it from a guy, it does matter. But women are generally more accepting, so they will settle for less and besides that's why TV soaps are just the perfect fantasy. But all is not lost. The inventors of Stamina and Viagra had you in my mind.

 

I realise you are a very busy man:

 

Don't ever use the, "I have been very busy, darling" excuse. Women

 

require time and attention and you have to find it somehow or don't get involved with them. They just don't understand how you can be too busy to spend time with them. I guess it crops from our mother's generation, when women could juggle cooking, rearing, work through the day, knit a sweater and still make time for the bible study. So misconstrued connection between their mothers finding time and you being available. They hate it when they have to compete for your attention. So between the hectic hours, the malfunctioning jalopy and the boys, make sure your woman has her

 

quarter.

 

There we go. Ten lies that every woman in a relationship tells. I suppose it is time to update.

 

pala.o@jay.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Baashi]

Maan! this OYUNGA PALA guy has done his homework...He must be a womenizer to know so much about them. He covered all the basis...this eternal truth cought my eye:

Rule number 1, it would be a soundly great idea, if you made more money than she did because no matter how accommodating she is at the beginning, it will be an issue.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

i couldn't stop laughing while reading this study i guess u can say. It's reading stuff like these that makes me wonder at times how the hell did women and men made it this far and what the future hold for this opposite sexes. But you know what i learned from experience, that even if a man decided he wanted a woman that didn't say all these lies, that at the end he would want a woman that lied. Because lets face it, over the years men and women became comfortable with these games of "I didn't mean what I said but I meant what I didn't say", that if women started behaving opposite of this and began telling you like how it is, men wouldn't know what the hell to do with it!!! So i say to those ladies that lie, keep on lying.