men, who really likes them anyway?

[Jacaylbaro]

Heey ,,,,, let's see in like 10 years and you all will see a pregnant Mantra ,,,,,, then you see her with babies here and there ,,,,,,, i hope that will be from a man ,,,

[Ibtisam]

Volume 7, Book 62, Number 1: Narrated Anas bin Malik: A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women.

From the tasfiir of this hadith I remember that it said it is forbidden for someone to go to extreme lengths for ciibaad (worship) i.e. praying all night and fasting everyday, nor are we allowed to live in seclusion in mountains like they use to do before and cut our self from life. On the issue of marriage it is forbidden for someone to say I will never marry because they want to be exclusive to worship. My understanding of this was as long as you don't state that you will never marry (which I don't, Allah knows best what the future holds) I am okay. If for whatever reason you don't get married there is no sin.

 

Cheers

[Saalixa]

Of- course if Allah decreed for you to never marry you will never marry. But i didnt say you will go to hell if you never marry. I said you must atleast have the intentions of one day marrying and reproducing with Allah's will to strengthen the Ummah with strong muslims. And mantra gave you the hadith and there are many more such as these quoted by teacher Sheikh Sheikh Djafr asking first the question: What do you think the Objective of marriage is?

 

came up with basically the following:

 

To fulfill ubudiyya (obedience) to Allah, because “Marriage is half of faith and Conciousness of Allah is the other half”

 

To strengthen the community and consiquently humanity.

 

To gain a peace of mind: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [30:21] Surah Ar Room - The Holy Quran.

 

Some other points which stress the importance of marriage in Islaam: - Allah created everything in Pairs, Women are the other half of men (hadith).

 

 

Ibtisam i dont think as i percieve you have the status yet of being a mufti or in a state that you can make ijtihad (making legal decisions by independent interpretation of the legal sources of such as the Qur'an and the Sunnah.) I think it will be on your part wrong to practise your incapable judgemental thinking on laws on marriage and rights in Islam like you just did there.

[Ibtisam]

Ducasany:

 

Maybe you missed the start of my sentence. I said from the explanation of this hadith (then I paraphrased what I read) I was not practicing my incapable judgmental thinking on laws of marriage or rights of Islam.

 

You have not disagreed with what I said, which is if you do not get married you do not get punished for it, assuming that you have not forbidden it or denied that it is an important part of Islam. This was not an iijtihad nor did I claim to be a mufti, and just to clarify I am not.

 

You claimed:

and it is compulsory and imperative to have an intention of getting married one day.

In Islam I am sure that you are aware that if something is compulsory if you do not do that action you will get punished for it. I asked you for evidence and Mantra gave a hadith, I explained the background and extended explanation for the hadith as I recalled it.

 

I don’t expect you to jump to conclusions and respond with negativity, but share what you know/ claimed. The evidence you have presented above is what I was already aware of, it just reiterate the importance of marriage and its purpose. I have yet to see the prove for your quote above statement.

 

I understand that verses of the Noble Qur'an clearly show that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism where celibacy or monasticism is considered as a great virtue or means of salvation, Islam on the other hand considers marriage as one of the most virtuous. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained,

 

"Marriage is my sunna. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me." I also understand that it is an act of ibadah, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments. However again it does not support your comment.

 

In fact as I understand marriage is compulsory for a man who has:

1) the means to easily pay the mahr

2)and who support a wife and children,

3)and is healthy,

4)and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (zina).

 

These are the conditions for marriage, if one of these conditions are missing it is no longer compulsory. And there are difference of opinion in this, for example; The Maliki school of though advocates that under certain conditions it is obligatory for a Muslim to marry even if he is not in a position to earn his living while some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful livelihood, he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of getting lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his passions) he may become the victim of another (theft). This difference of opinion you do not account for.

 

Further more, according to the Hanafi School of thought Marriage is forbidden to a man, if he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny. Further more it is makruh or disliked for a man who possesses no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in his religious obligations as a result of marriage. Again your statement does not fit into this hence why i questioned you.

 

As for the women, As I understand it is compulsory for a woman

1)who has no other means of maintaining herself

2)and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication.

 

Howver even if you have a strong will to control your sexual desire, and you have no wish to have children, and the person feels that marriage will keep them away from his devotion to Allah, or they will not fulfill their duty it is commendable (mandub). here is where you seem to miss totally.

 

Again I explained what I know as an individual from the ulumas, not something that i made up to suit my own desiers.

 

In any case I hate to argue about religion (hence why I never visit the Islam section of this forum) so I’ll leave it at that.

 

Thanks

[cynical lady]

thanks ibti i think now i am going to print that and use it as defence for my lifestyle choice....

[Ibtisam]

OHi you^ morning and no you cannot. I will NOT be held accountable for legitimizing your own life style. I already have enough sins as it is. Do your own research like me and if you are content with the findings then suit yourself otherwise get married. It will not be accepted (it was good enough for ibtisam) and it may become an innovation that people establish after my death which will surely lead me to hell. That was my understanding based on the evidence I saw.

 

Now that we've cleared that up moving on

[cynical lady]

afternoon ibti hell no sins are good 4 u so let me follow ure footsteps darling surely u wont condem me to marriage now would u? lol anywho i am sure u want 2 go 2 hell since the fun is in that arena ie anybody who is anyone of importance in this world is going to be there so just join that band wagon sweety....

[Ibtisam]

It depends on who your important people in life are. Mine inshallah won't go to hell. So I'll just let the band wagon pass sweety.

[cynical lady]

lol ibti miss self righteous wanabe eeh?

[Ibtisam]

Well yeah... i'm trying (alot of time it don't work) I would hope these people i follow and hold highly/ important will go to heaven to give me half a chance it is better than just giving up!is it not?

[cynical lady]

Trying is the only thing we can do anyway( even though I think I fall from the wagon a lot ) but hi, I am not holding anyone’s hands and I don’t knw who u are holding ( clarify that matter plz) I believe following someone is like making resolutions at the end of the year there pointless to start with, I follow myself and the BOOK should I succeed then that’s a bonus do I knw whether am heading to haven or hell mhhhh ( I shall get bk 2 u on that one) i think there are a lot of ways to accumulate tawab so I just try to throw in as much as I can in the basket and pray one day I get the strength to bank the main requirements’….

[Ibtisam]

^^loool^ hopefully you'll get there. I am not holding anyone's hand but there are people holding mine. IT is only pointless if it is a case of the blind leading the blind. One cannot follow themselves in any shape or form as most times we are persuaded by what we desire ( hence following yourself is often referred to as following your desires) and the book is complimented by the Sunnah and the actions/ rullings four generations after the prophet (PBUH) and the iijitihad major scholars since then.

 

p.s. no one can now if they are going hell or heaven or even if they die as a Muslim.

[cynical lady]

blay me.... ibti so u are holding pplz hands? care to hold mines also?

[Ibtisam]

Only if you want to give up your sundays ( i know, i know it is your only day to lazy about) You might even enjoy it. The same people that hold my hand can hold yours too.

[cynical lady]

whts with sunday oi are u planning 2 take me 2 a church? i assure u thats not a fast track to good deeds now ist? and care to tell who hold ure fat hands?