Pre maritial Questions to consider

[Faheema.]

^lol@waan gaduutay, unlike you isn't it

 

People are getting far too comfortable in this place.

[Resistance]

A question that will on my list is : sealed, slightly tempered with, or just natural. that will of course be not asked directly, but is way easy to bring it up in a convo and make her tell u all aboout.

 

one other thing i must work out is the her cycle, it would be rather to useless to set a wedding date few months in advance only to realise is falls within that time of the month.

[-Lily-]

^^^It’s clear you can’t see beyond the physical aspect of marriage life.

 

p.s. FB must be tomato red by now.

[Resistance]

Excuse me lady, wats physical about tat, is reality, one must be able to talk about such matters if they agreed to marry.

[Aaliyyah]

Resistance you did rise an important point, and as you pointed out if the couple are planning to get married, they should be able to discuss about anything. However, so many other things have to be considered before setting your wedding date. Like you have to know if this person is compatible, then you can worry about your wedding date. Really that should be the last thing to be concerned abt

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by Maimuna:

^lol@waan gaduutay, unlike you isn't it

 

People are getting far too comfortable in this place.

Waad ii qarinosa haye? Madoobos,dhuxulos aa tahay camal waaye miyaa?

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by Resistance:

one other thing i must work out is the her cycle, it would be rather to useless to set a wedding date few months in advance only to realise is falls within that time of the month.

That's almost a guaranteed disaster. Even if you work out the dates, and schedule her period weeks prior to the wedding, you can't always ensure how her body will react. Stress can actually impact a woman's monthly cycle. Not only is this one of the most important events in her life, but she is changing her life's course by marrying a Faarax wuxuu noqon doono Ilaah maahee cid kale ogayn. It's a crisis time addeer very crisis, adna wax kalaad ka fikiri..

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by

Faarax-Brawn:

Waad ii qarinosa haye? Madoobos,dhuxulos aa tahay camal waaye miyaa?

Maya maya, what I meant was...hmmm nevermind

[Khalaf]

Originally posted by Nephthys:

^ Ilaa that's why hadalkaba kuu gelin. I guess, some serious a$$$ whopping is in order.

lol@ Nephthys. Walaaley ya ku yiri hadalka ee ma galo? Qoofkaas been bu ku sheegay.

 

Lily iyo gabdha kaley, that's why women can not raise a man, u wonder why all these kids acting up because hooya babies em. training starts at home, you have to be tough, believe me i hated my pops growing up, but now i am very thankful to him, and i intend to be tougher then him God-Willing when i become a father.

[Aaliyyah]

^^^By being tough on kids, are you implying physical punishment? If that is the case, spanking and hitting your kids doesn’t make them tough, rather it makes them accumulate hate toward their parents, and they might temporarily do as their parents ask. But, it is more appropriate if parents reasoned with their kids, and make them see why they expect them to behave in certain way. For instance, if parents forced their daughter to wear hijaab, and didn’t give the girl much of a choice, bt rather spanked her every time she tried to take it off? What do you think will happen in the long term?? Of course she will change; she will throw it off the first chance she gets apart from her parents. Those types of girls might end up more wild later in life than those whose parents gave them a choice. So, you see how important it is to raise a child who is allowed to make decisions on his own. Of course, some of the decisions might be based on age, like if a child decides to drop out of school for whatever reason, you won't allow. Still forcing someone against their will is never the answer, you have get some sense into him/her.

 

 

 

that's why women can not raise a man,

A woman who doesn’t spank her son, is going to raise a man who is a leader and will speak his mind. Whether he is on the wrong track or the right track. Someone who is not afraid to voice his opinion, no matter what. But a parent who spanks their child will raise someone who is afraid to express themselves without thinking twice how it is going to affect their parents. At some point in life you have to make certain decisions no matter how it affects others.

 

Also, just to clarify this when I said you have to reason with your kids, it doesn’t mean you will be soft with them. You can reason with them and at the same time be hard on them by being direct and straightforward with them. You would be amazed at how in my house my parents are respected yet they never got physical with us. One must set rules for their house,as house won't function without rules. However, they must find a civilized way that encourages their kids to abide those rules.

 

 

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Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

[Khalaf]

^^^By being tough on kids, are you implying physical punishment?

Have u heard of the hadith: command your children to pray if they leave it off then punish (hit) them? How do you reconcile that Hadith with your belief never to hit kids, just a question in theory.

 

Now I could never physically punish a daughter but a son is different in my view, I have 3 sisters and my parents particular my pops raised me differently, I basically got the bad end of the stick...i had no allies only hooyo macaan. Don’t get it wrong not abuse but raised like a little solider. Walaal u went all out on me, now why u go do that? Lakiin i agree with a lot with what u said, however aniga waxaan aminsaan ahey daadkii hoorey, our grandfathers raag raag dheley bey aa hayeen saas baan loo taabarey. And no a woman can not raise a man, a son needs a father figure, just as a girl u need ur mother to teach u many things. But exceptions exist although rare.

[Ameen]

Originally posted by Resistance:

The question is is one brave enuff to dip their hands into the marrige hole.

Do we really have a choice?

Really though..if marriage is completing half of our deen and fulfilling a sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saw)...do we really have a choice whether we should dip our hands into the hole or not?

 

Ibn Masood was once asked, if he had one day to live, what would he do?

He responded with some very good words but the part which is relevate to this topic is the fact that he mentioned that he would get married. SubhanAllah, this is Ibn Masood were talking about. If you dont know who he is...do yourself a favor and get to know him inshAllah.

[Aaliyyah]

u went all out on me, now why u go do that?

Don’t take anything I wrote personal walaal, and everyone is entitled to express their opinion. I for one believe a father can raise a daughter, and vice versa a mother can raise a son, and have witnessed such cases where parents excelled in their parenting methods.

 

Khalaf, you took as an example ur father n grandfather and how they were disciplined. I think you shouldn't, because our parents were raised in different environment. What the society and families expected of their kids overlapped, there was not much of a choice.However, now, we live in more complicated society where spanking your kids might not work. where perhaps a child will do something you might not accept, but is acceptable to this society. So, how would you go about it? spank him??... Really, there is better parenting means than that. So, let’s just agree to disagree.

 

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Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

[Cara.]

Khalaf, maybe you could've been a better person if you weren't beaten with a stick. For one thing you wouldn't write "u" instead of "you" on a bleeding messageboard :mad:

 

And maybe our grandfathers could've been better men if they weren't raised on violence either. "That's how it was always done" is only a good argument when there's nothing wrong with "it".

[Khalaf]

lol@Cara. Stick kulaha...try belt and fiilo. ....Taan labaad our grandfathers were not raised with violence but honor and duty.

 

Aaliyah abaayo u twisted what i said...but okey. I didn't take it personal walaal, what i meant by that comment was i wasn't expecting a detailed reply....masha Allah tho waad caqli badaan thay. I agree with u and see where u coming from, but not on all the details.

 

peace