Ladies, do not demand more if he's soft

[blue_hefner]

There u go Lazygirl,

That's why you will see guys that are naturally maskiin "soft" but tend to be as hardcore as anyone can be and that will eventually result divorce or atleast ever-lasting drama because they will overreact.

I think this will answer the question that many somali girls have "Why Somali men aren't romantic?" Because the environment or the Somali type of relationship enforce them to hide their side of sweetness. This is not only limited to men but women also tend to show less than what they have inside. This is just disbelieve among the couples that if one finds out how much he/she loves, the other will use this as an advantage to demand more.

I have seen few girls in my school that date Cadaan guys and I am not kidding one told me that she wants someone she can tell she loves him and will love her back to the fullest. This means it will be hard for her find somali guy that will show her the kinda love she's looking for. And yea to let u know, the girl was beautiful as hell. And I know some guys that go for foriegns coz they feel the same.

[blue_hefner]

You're right Ibtisam,

I bet if he would even let you go with your female friends to a party after he's married to you. It's not bad to set limits in the beginning and if one doesn't like your behavior, then that person is not meant to you anyways. Otherwise it will be this somali saying " Mirahaa cunto, maroorkooda yeelo" Whatever u settle down with, can and will be used against you later.

[Ibtisam]

^^^loool^ either that or he would just have suffer in silence for what he pre authorized

 

YEs I do agree Honesty is the best policy, all cards on the table from the word go!

[Khalaf]

Originally posted by ThePoint:

^ahh he's a wimp. LG subscribes to the 'if he doesn't beat me - he doesn't love me school'

check this man:

Tough dudes are more appealing to me, dudes who will say SACDIYO, hada imow

or in english: bieach come here now

[Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih]

I said this dude in one of those hypothetical questions/ situations "if we were married and I wanted to go for a 2week holiday to the Caribbean with (Farah)a male friend, would you object?" He said "no that’s totally cool with me" ! I was like WHAT! Are you okay dude.

I would let you go but you should stay with him after the 2 weeks are over. Sii soco adoo nabad ah!

 

Actually, I would have cut you off for even entertaining such an idea

[Ibtisam]

^^^lool I was not entertaining such thoughts, it is not something I would do now let alone if I was married, I just wanted to see the response I get I was not impressed at all with the answer :rolleyes: :cool:

 

Khalaf:

 

What has got into you recently dear, that wadaad image is fading fast dear... May Allah guide you

[ScarFace]

^^^come on now iby did you forget the holiday we had back in 2006... The week in paris where you told me all these things about how you've got a sweet farah on lock and he dont mind me being there.....you also told me he paid for the ticket and the nice hotel that we was staying.,.aaahh we had a great time

 

 

blue_hefner its not all about being sweet.....if your true to yourself then der should'nt have a problem.....you have to have that basic understanding sweetness has nothing to do with it.....but if you'r a d***ckhead then the girl will treat you like one....so step up son be a man take charge,,,,,,,forget the sweeetness BE A MAN,,,,ALWAYS SHOUT halimo wheres my bariis iyo baasto an hilib,,,,wheres my macawiiis.....etc etc

[Ibtisam]

^^I was underage in 2006, don't open a criminal case on yourself dear What the hell where you doing going on a holiday with a 12year old, you SICK, nasty old man :rolleyes:

 

blue_hefner its not all about being sweet.....if your true to yourself then der should'nt have a problem.....you have to have that basic understanding sweetness has nothing to do with it.....but if you'r a d***ckhead then the girl will treat you like one....so step up son be a man take charge,,,,,,,forget the sweeetness BE A MAN,,,,ALWAYS SHOUT halimo wheres my bariis iyo baasto an hilib,,,,wheres my macawiiis.....etc etc

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: So been a "man and stepping up" is shouting about basto/ barris/ hilib and macawiss. No wonder SOmali women are looking else where in this day and age :rolleyes: :cool:

[ScarFace]

^^mmmhh well ibby am not bothered where they look in this day and age...but a fact is i have you on lock till this day...see i already got my halimo cooking baasto,bariis,N hilib ohh did i forget about the special xalwo you cook for mans....

goodness ayeeyo you havin a memory disfunction if you was 12 then i must have been 13.. dont tell me you forgot about the romantic dinner we had on the effeil<--------tower?

 

p.s

like they say treat them mean keep them keen...they'll love you for it.......whooo them with your sweetness and they will abuse it....thats a womans mentallity...

[cynical lady]

"like they say treat them mean keep them keen...they'll love you for it.......whooo them with your sweetness and they will abuse it....thats a womans mentallity... "

 

 

i beg ure pardon, i dont knw what lies u where told but such does not work for the majority female sex.

[Ibtisam]

^^ tell him, I don't know where he gets such mad ideas form.

 

ScarFace: I suggest you stop making claims over me, and false accusations, Unless you want to come arms with my people

 

Loool @lock down, I don't think any guy can claim to have any lady on lock down, even if they are married. Free sprit, free soul, they are up and gone before you can blink if you put the wrong foot first.

[ScarFace]

i beg ure pardon, i dont knw what lies u where told but such does not work for the majority female sex. [/QB]

dear such a big word to use "lies" its just a concept i tend to teach 2 my fellow farahs. You see the female species are hard to figure they want a sweet boy but when the sweetnes drops on her lap she abuses his maskiinimo.... so the best ting to do is keep them in check..you have to tell them to p*ss off and be mean to them "sometimes"...see me and my wifey ibtisam got a healthy relationship....although we fight a lot i keep her on the str8 path, incheck...

 

Iby darlin hw many times have I put my wrong foot in hw comes i dont see your spirit flyin out the door...mmmh

[cynical lady]

lol such a typical man blah blah blah, i dont understand wht kinda woman u or ure mates are exposed to but i assure u being a man does mean treating a woman with a harsh hand or keeping them in check horta are we animals that we need a man to keep uz in check as if we are bunch of herds? i beg ure pardon again and i will encourage u to go and get in touch with how a man is suppose to behave with a lady.

 

 

ps the book can be found at Borders for the price of £ 9.99 be a good boi and buy one.

[blue_hefner]

Scarface, As I said b4, I'm not into situation that I have problem dealing with partner, and I am not married to anyone. May be soon-2-be.

When I brought this topic, I had in my mind that there's a person like you is somewhere in this world. Your ideology of being rude and not nice is only applied to those short-minded ones that are concrete thinkers. So basically, you're looking for someone as an object where you have no other relationship, but someone to cook for you, work for you, and you have sex with. As our Prophet's culture is what we use as precedent, he joked with his wives, played with them, spent good time with them, cook for them, and used an appropriate language when talking to them. I know your acting all hardcore just to get recognitoin from others to be THE MAN, but you don't know that you're ruin your own family when satisfying other group of people.

I am aware of those women that understand nothing but abuse, however we are the generation to defeat that baseless ignorance culture instead of taking it for granted and live like 300 yrs ago. A man is one that knows his limits and fully respects his self, and wife with dignity and loves her to the fullest. Just ask your self, how would we all feel if one abuses our mothers or sisters, you will go nuts and may even murder someone for that, but you wanna do it. That's just being selfish and ignorant. Girls I encourage you to think the same and treat your husbands as king and YES he will do more.

S,C

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by LayZieGirl:

strong woman

What an oxymoron. Anyways...

 

 

To add some much needed perspective, do you know some cultures value ostentatious displays of feminity in men? The Wodabe tribe in Nigeria for example. With this tribe the roles and expectations of the sexes are reversed; it's the men who adorn all the makeup and jewerlly. It's the men who get women's attention by looking beautiful. The criteria Wodabe women use to choose a husbands is beauty; for Wodabe men it's literally the survival of the prettiest.

 

p.s. incidentally the article mentions the practice of polyandry (women having more than 1 husband at a time) among the Wodabe.

 

 

Los Angeles Times (Associated Press)

 

January 18, 2004

 

It's Survival of Cutest for Africa's Wodabe Men

 

Young males of the nomadic Sahara tribe preen, invoke magic and dance as women judge beauty contests. The winner gets a bride.

 

By Ellen Knickmeyer, Associated Press Writer, IN GALL, Niger

 

Sword at his side, compact mirror at the ready, a 6-foot-tall Sahara nomad named Efad Dadi squinted with determination and girded for the ancient trial of his desert people. Milk of a white cow for the complexion. Black kohl liner to bring out his eyes. Powdered bones of a roasted white egret to accent his lips. "I wanted so badly to be chosen. My heart was trembling," the 24-year-old cowherd said — one day after giving his all in a 15-strong chorus line of smiling, swaying young men in ostrich feathers.

 

A world away from Miss World, in a beauty pageant that Bert Parks never could have found the words to sing about: There He Is — Mr. Sahara. Or maybe just Mr. Oasis. Here on the southern edge of the Sahara, it's the young men who do the preening, singing, charming and dancing of beauty contests. It's women — two or three of the comeliest of their community — who do the judging, and the rewarding: usually, their hands in marriage to the winners.

 

Because among the Wodabe, a 125,000-strong tribe wandering from oasis to oasis, brawn and brains don't matter. Beauty is what counts — and male beauty in particular. The pageants are playing out under palm trees across the far reaches of the Sahara at this time of year, after rains bring respite from the year-round search for cattle fodder.

 

Affable and courtly, Wodabe have escaped West Africa's bloody slave raids of centuries past and the Kalashnikov-fed mayhem of the present, thanks to their isolation and insular ways. In a cutthroat world where men often compete for status with the power of their guns or the size of their SUVs, the peaceful Wodabe have decided that looks are all it takes.

 

Passing travelers over the years have reckoned the Wodabe among the happiest people on Earth. Camel-riding cognoscenti estimate them among the most stunning: "To be ugly is to be unforgiven," a Wodabe proverb goes. "It is our heritage. Even our ancestors are handsome. Our women are very beautiful, and the babies they make are the most beautiful," said Derre Chafou, a past pageant winner and son of an even more famously beautiful father. He speaks with the confident ease of a retired champ, leaning back on cushions under a palm tree. "If I am the man who is the prettiest, lots of women come to marry," Chafou said. "If they are corpulent, if they aren't beautiful, the women won't get close."

 

Trailing after longhorns all their lives, Wodabe carry with them little more than shepherd's crooks, sleeping mats and, for the men, pocket mirrors entrusted to them soon after birth. Women of the family coach toddling boys how to use the mirror to check for schmutz on their face, unsightly leftovers in their teeth. Starting from babyhood, mothers and sisters pull the limbs of boys to make arms and legs long and lean. They tweak the noses, trying to mold them to a point.

 

Beauty is so important that a homely man won't mind his wife having a child by another man — as long as it comes out looking good. Wodabe allow men to have several wives.

 

The flip side: Wodabe women can choose two husbands.

 

And at the beauty pageants, it's survival of the cutest. "If they are fat, they don't come to the pageant," said Barka Gorsa, pushing 30 and still aspiring to his first pageant win and a bride. "They go and hide in the country." "The man with the big stomach, he can't win the contest," said Dadi, the cowherd. The judges pick the top three winners with a nod or a tap on the shoulder.

 

Losers slink off into the bush or turn to winning a bride the old-fashioned way — with a gift of cattle. At In Gall, a centuries-old desert crossroads town of camel skeletons and collapsed adobe huts, Gorsa and Dadi came for the most public of the annual pageants.

 

It's the government-sponsored event, drawing in nomads from thousands of miles across the Sahel. When Wodabe dance, Tuareg tribesmen park their camels at the edge of crowds for a hump-high view.

 

Niger soldiers, armed with AK-47s, hold one another's hands as they watch. Veiled young girls stroll under umbrellas against the North African sun, arms draped over their girlfriends' shoulders, whispering.

 

Competitors' families may spend a year on the young men's costumes — lading them with embroidery, dangling earrings, row after row of necklaces. The young men sometimes travel for days to find a mountain with the right clay, the right herb, to make their red-and-yellow face paint.

 

But it's magic that makes the beauty pageants as hard-fought as any in Atlantic City. Men drape themselves with amulets and whisper charms, casting spells to catch the eye and throw off rivals' spells. "Men try for 10 years to get the right magic," said Chafou, the reclining beauty.

 

"Here, all the men are beautiful. It's the power that makes the difference." At night at the pageant, Tuareg electric guitars twang across the desert. Young Wodabe men dream of pageant victory. By day, they give their all, dancing for days — smiling coyly, darting sideways glances to check out the response.

 

And when they disperse into the desert, the winners — and their panel of judges — slip out of sight. Dadi and Gorsa: They lost.