[B]Body issues[/B]

[Chocolate and Honey]

Hello all! It’s been a long time but am back! Anyways, my beautiful sisters lately there is one issue that has been eating my brain out: BODY ISSUES. I know that we think we are so strong that the Western media and its agendas don’t affect our self esteem. But the evidence begs to differ. I’m not talking about skin color issues; I’m talking about weight issues. I mean at any given day, 50% of American women are on a diet according to the medical community. However, we Somali girls “don’t diet.” We STARVE ourselves! Pardon my generalization but bear with me.

I know girls who sustain themselves on a diet of soda and slim fast only. I know others who are suspiciously in the hospital every other month for “dehydration” and “stress” related issues.

What compels me to observe this particular trend you might ask? Well, I have a curious mind. Also, lately I have been closely (what! I’m concerned) monitoring my friends. One of them lost about 30lbs in a month. How did she do it? She started smoking. Another co-worker of mine stopped eating period! She always has headaches and she started missing her period. I don’t know how to talk to them because we don’t talk about these kinds of issues in our community. We are obsessed with being “natural.” No one ever “diets,” “bleaches” their skin or does their hair and make up; yup! we are born naturally that way!

My conversations with these girls typically go this way:

Me: Ah xalimo, do you want to go eat, it is like 2 in the afternoon?

First girl: No, I’m so full for some reason. Go ahead; I’ll eat later at home.

Me: Oh that won’t be another four or five hours.

First girl: I know. But I have a headache so go on.

Me: Ok.

 

 

Me: Casho, do you want to eat later?

Second girl: Yes!

Me: ( at home or restaurant): I’m eating dinner, do you want some? Or do you want to order something?

Second girl: No, I’m good. But go ahead.

Me: Oh! Ok but I thought you said your were hungry?

Second girl: nah, I don’t feel like it. I’m full even though I can’t remember what I ate the whole day.

Me: Oh. That is not healthy, Hun. Order something, even a salad and a yogurt.

Second girl: My husband says I gained weight so I’m trying to cut back.I'm not on a diet or anything though.

Me: No you didnt gain anthing.you are like size 6.

Second girl: I’m not trying to lost weight; I just don’t want to gain weight.

Me: (frustrated) ok.

I don’t ever know how to tell them that they are close to developing eating disorders or that they are destroying their bodies.

I might sound judge mental to some of you but this is serious. I’m a language arts teacher, and I see some girls as young as 12 starving themselves or throwing away their breakfasts and lunches. I have seen girls who lost their sight because of an eating disorder. How do we warn our community?

If you have a similar story or suggestions please share. If you’re comfortable with sharing some of your body insecurities please share. If there is an exercise or eating plan you swear by please share.

 

Here is my issue: I absolutely envy women with toned arms. :mad: I feel unsatisfied with my arms every time I see them workout divas at the gym. I work out 3times a week. I do cardio and strength training.

What is yours?

[Faheema.]

^lol, Whenever I see those people, I am like WHY do you need to come to the gym when you don't have anything to loose or tone? But I guess they have their reasons.

 

I can never stick to a diet, I am not disciplined enough when it comes to food and I hate restricting myself lol…..So I decided just to eat what I want and join the gym

[Jacaylbaro]

Just use chocolate and honey and you'll be Okey

[chubacka]

I know arms are like the hardest place to tone :mad:

 

I am struggling to go to the gym once a week :rolleyes:

 

When you get used to exercise its actually enoyable and you get a lot out of it, its jst the motivation thats the hard bit.

 

Tell these girls to come to all your fitness classes with you, its a far less punishing way to lose weight.

 

All the best.

[NGONGE]

^^ You should be happy with your baruur, m'dear. You don't want to end up like these women:

 

 

[Ibtisam]

^^^Loool.

 

Chocolate &honey, I don't know about Somali girls about my age, but the other day my little cousin told me I was too fat, and no one will marry if I don't lose weight! :eek: She is 10yrs old. I wanted to cry for her, where the hell did she get such crazy association from. I had a little chat with her, and she told me she is dieting and joined karate classes at school to stay skinny! I was so upset. She's dead stuck on this, so I am sure she will have an eating disorder sooner or later. I mean she's only ten. When I was 10, I eat everything and anything, I still do, so I was gob smacked to hear that kind of crab from a little girl.

 

I did not really know how to change her mind, (talking to her was not working)plus she was convinced that she was giving me good and helpful advise, rather than me giving her advise. I've been meaning to bring it up again, but have not had the chance yet. I told her mother, and her mother laughed, I don't think she understood the seriousness of the situation, and the danger her little girl is in if she continues down this road. I really think parents need to aware of the society their kids are growing up in and provide the support system to deal with these problems.

[chubacka]

wow she is so cheeky about no one will marry you!

Its bloody sad though that any 10 yr old would worry about being "skinny"

 

after 20, its normal.

[Chocolate and Honey]

posted 03-06-2008 11:01

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

^^^Loool.

 

Chocolate &honey, I don't know about Somali girls about my age, but the other day my little cousin told me I was too fat, and no one will marry if I don't lose weight! She is 10yrs old. I wanted to cry for her, where the hell did she get such crazy association from. I had a little chat with her, and she told me she is dieting and joined karate classes at school to stay skinny! I was so upset. She's dead stuck on this, so I am sure she will have an eating disorder sooner or later. I mean she's only ten. When I was 10, I eat everything and anything, I still do, so I was gob smacked to hear that kind of crab from a little girl.

 

I did not really know how to change her mind, (talking to her was not working)plus she was convinced that she was giving me good and helpful advise, rather than me giving her advise. I've been meaning to bring it up again, but have not had the chance yet. I told her mother, and her mother laughed, I don't think she understood the seriousness of the situation, and the danger her little girl is in if she continues down this road. I really think parents need to aware of the society their kids are growing up in and provide the support system to deal with these problems.

I understand your frustration, hon.I also have 14 year old neighbor who is at any given day on a diet. She's been on Atkins diet, SouthBeach diet, you name it, she's on it. Where does she get the money from? Her 60year old granma who doesnt have the capacity to understand the damages these yo-yo dieting is causing. I told her the other day that she needs to take the little girl to a doctor because she is constantly complaining about headaches, cramps, and dizzines because she doesnt eat properly and she told me that she would hate for her grandaughter to become one of those 'fatty' somali girls . Need I say more?

 

We need to build an awareness of the dangers of eating disorder in our community.I heard girls of my age tell me that they rather get sick than get fat because no one wants to marry a fat girl anymore[/b . I dont understand why it is either and or? :confused:

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

Naag dhib heesto, allah sahlo(NIN)

[Ibtisam]

Originally posted by chocolate & honey:

I understand your frustration, hon.I also have 14 year old neighbor who is at any given day on a diet. She's been on Atkins diet, SouthBeach diet, you name it, she's on it. Where does she get the money from? Her 60year old granma who doesnt have the capacity to understand the damages these yo-yo dieting is causing. I told her the other day that she needs to take the little girl to a doctor because she is constantly complaining about headaches, cramps, and dizzines because she doesnt eat properly and she told me that

she would hate for her grandaughter to become one of those 'fatty' somali girls

. Need I say more?

 

We need to build an awareness of the dangers of eating disorder in our community.I heard girls of my age tell me that they rather get sick than get fat because

no one wants to marry a fat girl anymore[/b

. I dont understand why it is either and or? :confused:

You know I was speaking to one of the girls on this forum about the role parents play and comments they make to their kids which unknowingly can be quite harmful, telling your kid " I don't want you to be fat" or “your sister is skinner than you” etc is not going to help them or give them confidence in their image and as a person.

 

To be honest I don't really have any sympathy for a grown *a*s*s women who is worried about no one marrying her because she is a little large. I mean come on seriously, obviously if she is that worried there are easy and safe ways to lose weigh without giving yourself all sorts of disease, and a grown women knows how and where to search for this information. It is not secrete and widely available, same way she finds out about the latest diets, she can find the safe way. But mostly out of laziness and search for quick fix they do *s*t*upid*** things.

 

What worries me, is the little girls growing up with this mentality, it is different if you develop this mentality at the age of say 22, but it is scary when a kid, a kid for god sake has the same worries and makes the same associations. At 18+ you are really old enough to know better, but obviously if you already have a disorder at that age you will only get worse unless you recognise that you have a problem and seek help, which many don't.

 

Parents need to work hard to make sure their daughters grow up without any complexity and with a health body weigh. In London I have been seeing around little obese kids, and that is not good either, specially with issues of bullying and more specifically with their general health implications. We need to find a balance.

[Faynuus]

The only balance we can find is to except that 1. being overweight is a huge problem both physically and mentally, expecially today when most of us are not active enough and spend countless hours sitting and eating. We have to admit that we have a problem. There are many health problems related with being overweight and the earlier you tackle your weight, the better for your future. It is hard to believe that we as somali women claim to be so happy and deny we have any worries/problems with being overweight especially when majority of us are OBESE( I dont have any accurate data or have not conducted any survey or anything but.....). All the anerxia you see around is an indication of of this problem. So NO, we are not happy. Lets be honest about that first.

 

2. Let everybody DO SOMETHING URGET about their weight.We have to promote better and healtheir eating habbits. The positive thing about us Somalis is that, if you embark on a weight management mission, start to excercise and redo your menu, most of your freinds will likely follow your example after you show some good results ofcourse. .(have you not seen when one of us moves to ecuador, every1 else follows?).

[Ducaysane]

All this talk about being overweight is really not helping for those of us who fancy big women. take it easy girls, it is just more pushing for the cushion.

[FatB]

ur too fat if cant to this

better get in shape

[Geel_jire]

All the men who have posted on this topic seem to agree including me.

 

when you have to choose between skinny and fat err on the side of fat or (dib) as myownboss put it.

 

^ fatboy what is your obsession with this girl......... she is like a an elastic toothpick

[Pujah]

Weirdest advice I ever got on losing weight - just throw up after every meal. That was told to me in a cheerful authoritative voice

 

Very tempting I tell ya