Mindstate Posted July 6, 2003 salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam all ya'll maliz Yeah... I know it is a funny question but I am sure that some of us have this problem. I have a very creative partner and it pleases me but there are times that her sexual ideas are quite difficult to accept. I don't tell her right away what I intentionally think. I would take sometime to rethink the idea before blurting out something that may eventually hurt her. Often times I would just say, "No Comment!" and keep my thoughts to myself, but I feel this is unfair in her part if I continue to do this. Sometimes rethinking helps me accept but there are times that it doesn't seem to work. I can't seem to accept the ideas that she has in mind. Is it good to keep what I think inside because I don't want to hurt her by telling her how I really feel? How can I tell her in a way that she will understand me and not find my rejection offending? Thanks in advance... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted July 6, 2003 salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamz bro Very interesting question Mindstate!! .. i would like to see the responses to this thread ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted July 6, 2003 first of all r u married to her. if not, if this is a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. then u get no answer coz. this is not allowed in Islam on the other hand, if she is ur wive. u should tell her. and not embarrasse her like this. asking question on nomad ppl here. it is between u and ur girl. and if u can't communicate with each other then. u need to practice that. one of the woman rights on man, if they married is to keep her secrets. and not to make it public to anybody, like the kuffars do. YOU KNOW WHAT MY WIVE DID LAST NIGNT, WE NOT LIKE THEM. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SeNsHuAl_sHaAdIa Posted July 6, 2003 mindstate all i can advice you is to just tell her how you feel cuz commnication is the key in all relationship....i mean as long as you're not opossed to all her adventurous ideas then im sure she will be cool hope that helps p.s it seems these days that no one can ask for advice from his fellow nomads without having his head bitten off or being judged unfairly. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adna Posted July 6, 2003 salaama calaykum i couldn't agree more than Qa'Qa walaakiis weel said maa'sha'allaah... to mondstate look for an xalal way intead xaaraan ok mouch love to ya'll Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdinuur Posted July 7, 2003 IF YOU NEED A REALISTIC ANSWER AND A REALISTIC ADVICE, RE-READ QA'QA's ANSWER FEW MORE TIMES! PERSONALLY MAN, I WOULDN'T CARE LESS CUZZ I KEEP IT REAL AND I GET TO THE POINT! I LIKE HANGIN' OUT WIT PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL AND DONT HIDE AROUND THE BUSH TO TRY TO MAKE SENSE. JUST STRAIGHT UP SAY WHATCHU GOTTA SAY AND IF SHE DOESNT LIKE IT, BOOO HOOO NA MEAN. Take her out whenever convenient for you and LET her tell you some of your weaknesses and strengths...AFTER THAT YOU can say what's on your mind...by telling her some of her strengths and what u like about her... AND THEN about her weaknesses and what she can do to change them/whatchu dont like about her/what needs to be changed...etc. Take it slowly and YOU GOTTA BE REALISTIC AS POSSIBLE... Hope it works out for ya'll! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rokko Posted July 7, 2003 Originally posted by Qa'Qa': u should tell her. and not embarrasse her like this. asking question on nomad ppl here. it is between u and ur girl. Qa'Qa, how is he embarrasing his partner when we don't even know who this dude is. Look at his username. ONLY TWO POSTS. Shows he just registered to ask this question na'mean. The brother is just trying to find answers na'mean? Seeking answers ain't that bad. Again, this is a forum. Let nomads ask questions that concern them na'mean. Mindsate, it is better ya say "it sucks " to her and teach her that frankness about ya na'mean. Don't hold out yo. Tell the sis her ideas were terrible na'mean. She will get used to it na'mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted July 7, 2003 Why do i get the feelings that someone was sent to "downtown" but he is not interested. Me not giving free advice nowadays,swipe the plastic and we shall see what u should or shouldn't do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted July 7, 2003 You should tell her straight how you feel but be tactful and kind. Start by discussing her kinky suggestions and take it from there. It is important that you talk to her straight than beat around the bushes. "No Comment" is a no-no You should always express what you feel and think, specially when it comes to sex. This can lead to a more open line of communication between you and you'll be surprised at how much you can understand when you openly talk. Tell her you are thinking about her kinky ideas even if it is not so wellcome to you right now and that you may consider it one day, someday, who knows (maybe you should! lol ) Talk about respect and draw the kinky line that divides what is pleasurable to you or offensive. Keeping your thoughts to yourself will eventually do more harm than good. It may be a crack in the pot you will find harder to remedy later. Assure and reassure that you love her, that should help her deal with the rejection or offense she may take. She'll understand you more when you express yourself than when you keep your thoughts inside. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted July 7, 2003 "Why do i get the feelings that someone was sent to "downtown" but he is not interested" ....loool Shyhem..mazee wacha hizo...I feel the same...but Lakini :confused: :confused: Mindstate...Like most of the nomads said, communicating with her is the first step of solving your nightmare!..Second, if the advice dont work, plz consult with some religious leaders/friends,internet sites or books (Islam-Specific on the issue) and weight your thoughts and decision regarding on the subject of the matter. ....However, like Qa'Qa said already, it's best if your relationship's "kinky" secrets are kept..but Iam gonna refute the perception that you blasted your "burning issue" into this forum, so that you could get more information(which I hope!). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mindstate Posted July 7, 2003 Originally posted by Shyhem: Why do i get the feelings that someone was sent to "downtown" but he is not interested. Me not giving free advice nowadays,swipe the plastic and we shall see what u should or shouldn't do. lol @shyhem mshamba ume sha anza raula kaliga inaa taqaanid maa mooday? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted July 7, 2003 sorry folks ama write some lugha here...there is no other way of communicating with this individual Mindstate..nilikuwa karibu nikutumie PM(Private message) lakini hamna in your selections...lakini...mangaa wewe....Gai..hiyo website (or your homepage)...imenishtua walahi....Jamani..mpaka nimeblash..roho bado inarukaruka....najaribu kuretrive back my recollection... mazee ebu niandiakie on my PM...ndipo tuongee... again I apologize for those who do not understand. I dont have time to translate..ma bad!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mindstate Posted July 7, 2003 Master Mafia Thank you for your advice. I talked to my partner about how I felt and she understood me. I was a little hesitant at first, but I managed to tactfully say what was in my mind. I told her that I am considering her ideas. I found out that I am getting a little comfortable about certain things that she has proposed. Thinking about her ideas helps me to visualize and to accept. I still have a difficult time but she is managing to tear down my walls looooooooool@ Raula, nini ime kushtua? ume checki website yangu alafu ume ona nini? ni ambiye? na taka ni jue sawa. i'll PM ya latta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted July 8, 2003 Originally posted by raula: "Why do i get the feelings that someone was sent to "downtown" but he is not interested" ....loool Shyhem..mazee wacha hizo...I feel the same...but Lakini :confused: :confused: LOoll kwani uliona nimeshika nini........i'm just kidding. Anyway u're right but my brain is filthy doesn't mean i'm guilty.If u give me a hint about something, my brain straight goes into work and the end results is something not good for everyone.Thanks for the advice sister. MIndstate Now i have another feeling,are u sure u ain't Clown brother.I mean nothing wrong with the clown but u too have the same style of writing stuff up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mindstate Posted July 8, 2003 Originally posted by Shyhem: MIndstate Now i have another feeling,are u sure u ain't Clown brother.I mean nothing wrong with the clown but u too have the same style of writing stuff up who's clown? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
