Insure Your Husband

[Nur]

Quick responses

 

Yahoo UK

 

eNuri intended to bring dormant issues that are undermining our community to the open, once in the front burner, all sides speak their minds, we all learn, preferably before an unwise move is taken.

 

 

Castor bro.

 

You are right walaal, balaayo, is said to have no head to be stopped, but it has tails to be salvaged, this thread was touching on the tip of a social iceberg, once all Halimos and Faaraxs share their views, we all shall learn from each other including the silent viewers.

 

 

Johnny bro.

 

The was skewed interpretaion br. I wrote:

 

e-Nuri Stats are not out yet, but for every hubby away from his western residing Xaliimo, chances are that the temptation of another wedding is very high ( (if he is a non smoker, non drinker, non chewer ), if he is a wadaad, thats is another story

 

The writer here assumes that smokers dont have the desire as nicotene eats through the desire making tissues , in addition , back home they are not widely accepted unless they pay a hefty meher temptation, and that holds true for those challenged with social vices that one needs to get rid of to be healthy soul. Besides, those categories due to theior health rekated issues have trouble offering any realo parenting even toi a single woman let alone multi-tasking with finesse.

 

 

Kafaaxiye bro.

 

eNuri Social Problems watch group is increasingly noticing the trend, time permitting, we may publish real life dilemmas, imagine sharing a trip with a Somali businessman who is secretly married between two continents, he is all smiles, so is his minyaro, but someone somewhere is oblivious of her husbands whereabouts, he knows if he breaks the news that something will go wrong, so he lives two lives, is this healthy, NOPE, is it unethical, BY ALL MEASURES, the why ? lets find out together without a fight.

 

 

Legend Of Zhu

 

Walaalo, The topic is exploratory, not authoritative, eNuri does not have a solution, its seeking one, and through your opinion, we can build a consensus, imagine when one day we publich a solution that grabs the attention of all somalis, lets attack problems, not people when we speak, people are victims, both Xalimo and Faarax need help, and that is not even mentioning the Kids dilemma.

 

 

Allah u Baahne ( Shouldnt we all)

 

JZK, yes, its about alternatives, priorities and when it hits home, how to keep ones sanity

 

Baashi

 

I hope that sisters on the forumj dont take your comments negatively, but the way i read it is BAD FAARAXS SHOULDNT BREED, ONLY GOOD FAARAXS EVEN IF THEY ARE ALREADY MARRIED, well, well, what has to be proven is if the " GOOD" Faaraxs are paying aattention to the price of Jealousy, and neglect of kids and first wife, the problem is multi dimensional, lets us take one side at at a time.

 

 

Blessed sis

 

I Like your screenname, may Allah bless us all with iiman walaal, eNuri is very appreciative of your readership, our customer care department is willing to send you a ticket for two to visit realm cases of social situations just to prove that your beloved company is relentlessly serving your vision, we want good Somali homes, good kids, responsible Faaraxs and Xalimos, heat is on all, how to untangle the web of problems requires wisdom, and it only comes from Allah SWT , Allah says:

He who is granted wisdom, has indeed been gifted with a lott of GOOD"

 

For once, put yourself in the Faaraxs situation knowing all too well that in this day and age, its not an easy thing not falling in fitna, its digital days, men can only use one head at the time, at eNuri, we want them not to bring harm home at least, so if you, close the bottle real tight and boil it, you weill explode it, that does not exempt Faaraxs from responsiblities, most of them do not think of the responsiblities taht will be neglected, kids that can be lost to the streets, with every right comes responsibilities, its very true that majority of polygamous marriages are not successful, because neither side of the problem is doing enough for it to work, thus, we are in a loss-loss situation rather then win-win situation. Lastly if there was no any Xalimo accepting to marry a married man, there will be no problem, so in a way, Xalimos are also not aligned, the minyaro does it with vengence as the minwein never cares of unmarried Xalimos.

 

Water Lilly

 

Walaalo, There are men who have done that, a minority that is, but . we should ask, is the failure for these marriage to work due to Faarax alone, Xalimo alone or BOTH, if the latter is true, please suggest a solution, you will help many quiet suffering Nomads. As for kids, the way to break the news is gradual, second Xalimo is welcomed by Firts xalimo at home, inntrducing her as their second mommy.

 

 

Peace

 

 

Nur

[Zafir]

Posted by Nur

e-Nuri Stats are not out yet, but for every hubby away from his western residing Xaliimo, chances are that the temptation of another wedding is very high ( (if he is a non smoker, non drinker, non chewer ), if he is a wadaad, thats is another story

 

The writer here assumes that smokers dont have the desire as nicotene eats through the desire making tissues , in addition , back home they are not widely accepted unless they pay a hefty meher temptation, and that holds true for those challenged with social vices that one needs to get rid of to be healthy soul. Besides, those categories due to theior health rekated issues have trouble offering any realo parenting even toi a single woman let alone multi-tasking with finesse.

 

 

The reader here assumes, smokers, drinker, and chewers aren’t as desirable as their counterparts, and the ones that do get married pay a hefty meher because they have neglected their health willingly, in the real life is utterly false.

 

These bad faraxs (as baashi put it) are the ones marrying one xalimo or two, because they can, because they are not picky with women, because some xalimo’s don’t care, et cetera. You could be a retarded bad faarax on a wheelchair with spit dripping out of your mouth and have chance of marriege.

 

Good faraxs on the other hand look for women in the wrong places, such as family (you and I both know someone (one side of the family) is pound to hurt). Other times wrong timing, good faraxs meet someone they like and they are ready to settle down, but women aren’t (thinking they can do better, they just give you sugar coded rejection). Seldom good faraxs are picky and demeaning to the women that approach them. Good faraaxs are cursed (in any good or bad way of the word cursed)

 

 

For a faarax, this is a classic case of “Damn if you do and damn if you don’t kinda situationâ€

[sheherazade]

Trying to work out what's in it for the wife. Insure hubby: put time, love, food, bleach, err, shaah into him. Okay. Then one day he doesn't break or expire suddenly or get lost, no, he ups and marries another. OK in a manner of speaking he does get lost but it's premeditated. And he may not inform wife that she can put in a claim. So what's in it for her? What's the point of insurance if she can't make a claim?

1. Dhiker Policy

 

 

This policy insures your husband that nothing bad will happen to him, ( Another Marriage isnt necessarily bad ) , the more Dhiker you make, the better you will feel, to the point that you find enjoyment in Dhiker that you can never get from the company of your hubby.

 

Nuns tell us that. Are Muslim women deluded enough to compare divine love with man love? Love God and man-pain will go away? Come on. Dhikr does not practically help her deal with the situation. How does she cope socially?

 

2. Dedication-to-A Cause Policy

 

 

You can join e-Nuri staff, help publish good articles, resend good inspirational posts to those sick souls around you, and find company and happiness in helping other Halimo's gain their sanity back after losing their hubby to anothet younger xaliimo back home.

 

I'm sure you think your cause is a worthy one, what suggestions for SOL females that aren't as convinced as you but are in the situation u describe? And how does dedicating herself to something however worthy make the other go away? Sounds like u're advocating dropping the long Somali ostrich neck into a hole in the ground- a hole whole with dhikr and good-deeds, a hole nonetheless.

 

3. Love-Of-Allah policy

 

By far this is the most secure policy, no Xaliimo who ever bought this policy felt jealous, after all, once the love of Allah fully occupies your heart, there is no space left for any Faarax to hurt you. The pain you go through in jealousy is a form of punishment for not loving Allah SWT. Love of Allah SWT is really cool, try it, wallahi, you will feel sorry for those who have not felt this high state of Devine love which dwarfs all of your worries.

 

Jealousy is not the only pain. What about good-old fashioned wretched pain, unadulterated by a trait- jealousy- that is often used as a way of getting women to get over it quickly while shaming them in the process. What are the other aches and pains? Can she sue for damage caused?

 

Whiffs of patronisation again from your post. Can I ask why you're quite so eager on female-focused matters even though some of us females keep telling u u're off the mark? Again and again and...(and this question is directed at you and not your on-behalf-ofs).

[-Lily-]

Nur, if a man is financially stable and can afford two wifes, I still do not see how he can go to work, be there for both (or more) homes, be there for his children, mind you with whom he does not live under the same roof with everyday thus not being aware of everything that goes on. Just how many times can a man divide himself to please everyone? And will a Farax be less likely to gaze at women down the street or on tv if he has 4 waiting at home for him? I doubt that.

 

I just think it would be incredible to suceed in such a marriage. It might work for some, but I wish the rest of us would be spared this constant promotion of multiy-partner marriges. Suffice to say we are not going to agree on this issue.

[-Serenity-]

For everything there is a season, ladies. I cant blv you remain unconvinced of the great social construct that is polygamy, even after 10 topics. Like the sheikh said, another marriage is not necessarily bad.

 

Anyways, what does a man have to do to reserve the right for a new nookie around here? Shish!

[Khalaf]

Asslaamu Alaykum,

 

With due respect brother Nur, I think you live in fantasy world and you ignore the position of the sister involved. I am net familiar with e-nuri, but your suggestion for the sister whose husband takes a second wife is unrealistic.

 

By no means am I arguing against the system of polygamy in Islam, it has its time and place, however we must realize the enormous amount of emotions and feelings involved in this difficult situation. My aunt was married for 20 years, gave him five children, and he married another in kenya, never told her. She found out from others. The tremendous amount of sorrow and hurt I saw in her face, I could never explain nor could I ever understand how someone can do that to someone they love and been with for over 20 yrs.

 

The peachy picture you paint my brother is not realistic. Maybe e-nuri should focus on educating the brothers on how to be better to their wife and be considerate of her feelings. I feel this issue is driving our sisters away, believe me I know I have three sisters. We need to be better to our woman.

[Nur]

Quick Responses

 

Sheherezade

 

You ask : Are Muslim women deluded enough to compare divine love with man ?

 

Answer:

 

Allah SWT says in the Quraan : And of the people are those who take other than Allah ANDAAD ( anything that you love, wealth, opposite sex, power) which they love as they should have loved Allah onlyâ€

 

You write: I'm sure you think your cause is a worthy one, what suggestions for SOL females that aren't as convinced as you but are in the situation u describe? And how does dedicating herself to something however worthy make the other go away? Sounds like u're advocating dropping the long Somali ostrich neck into a hole in the ground- a hole whole with dhikr and good-deeds, a hole nonetheless

 

Answer:

 

Indeed, any attempt to bring to the open bitter real issues is worthy of my time and effort, and like medicine it may be undesirable at times, but it makes people think laterally against conventional wisdom, besides, pleasing people is not our objective at eNuri and company, Allah is.

 

If a woman is hurt due to polygamy, she can throw blame around, pointing a finger here and there, but there are always fingers pointing back at here, the dilemma is two sided its not simple .

 

You write: Jealousy is not the only pain. What about good-old fashioned wretched pain, unadulterated by a trait- jealousy- that is often used as a way of getting women to get over it quickly while shaming them in the process. What are the other aches and pains? Can she sue for damage caused?

 

Answer:

 

The right to marry again for a man is does not require an approval from a present wife, any pain of jealousy, anger, frustration that she suffers has to do with the way she deals with the problem, not necessarily what her husband did, its how she responds to the news that can make or brake her mind and at times her soul, polygamy is an institution that is meant to solve a problem, not create a problem, bot Farax and Xalimo are in marriage for mutual fulfillment of their needs, these needs however do change with the passing of time, at which point a Farax may come to a crossroads of options. Unfulfilled need, Divorce, polygamy, each one of these carry a price, for the kids, Xalimo and Faarax, and the unmarried single woman who does not mind to be # 2, if the # 1 will agree, but is scared to death from the fall out of anger and trouble, this thread was looking for unbiased solution from a mature audience, the minute our persons get involved, we lose sight of problem at hand.

 

You write:

 

You write:

 

Whiffs of patronisation again from your post. Can I ask why you're quite so eager on female-focused matters even though some of us females keep telling u u're off the mark? Again and again and...(and this question is directed at you and not your on-behalf-ofs).

 

 

Answer: Yes, eNuri as a business is competing in the free world of thoughts, with unique products that have consumers as we speak, our completion being the masking of Islamic principles with Christian traditions of strict monogamy. At eNuri, we advocate Islam, and we are very proud to say that over and over, being a single unwed woman for too long is also painful, a Farax who knows that what Allah has made Xalaal is made haraam by his wife is also painful, Farax can then think of divorce to get what he wants, only foucing on his side of the problem, ignoring the other side of the equation, kids and wife, feels that he is confined, being married to a husband who is entertaining the idea of polygamy for a woman is like sitting on a dormant volcano, the sooner a woman takes control of the situation the better, her options are sharing her husband or divorce, divorce has two parties, both are unhappy, polygamy has three parties, one is unhappy.

 

As for damage, yes our Somali women are entitled to a traditional compensation called

MASEYR-TIR, (literally meaning removing the pain of jealousy, that was why I suggested the policy of having a pet project as Maseyrtir). Recently I had a conversation with a brilliant , single,professional young Hijabi sister, very religious and very successful in her profession , she confided in me that like any other woman, at first she could never think of being wife #2, however at 27 and after so many undesirable offers, she is having second thoughts, she quipped half jokingly that as long as he is rich and successful, she wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on his wealth and hers to be.

 

 

Nur

[Castro]

Originally posted by Nur:

Yes, eNuri as a business is competing in the free world of thoughts, with unique products that have consumers as we speak, our completion being the masking of Islamic principles with Christian traditions of strict monogamy. At eNuri, we advocate Islam, and we are very proud to say that over and over, being a single unwed woman for too long is also painful, a Farax who knows that what Allah has made Xalaal is made haraam by his wife is also painful, Farax can then think of divorce to get what he wants, only foucing on his side of the problem, ignoring the other side of the equation, kids and wife, feels that he is confined, being married to a husband who is entertaining the idea of polygamy for a woman is like sitting on a dormant volcano, the sooner a woman takes control of the situation the better, her options are sharing her husband or divorce, divorce has two parties, both are unhappy, polygamy has three parties, one is unhappy.

At a time when the Ummah (specially Somalia) faces crises on many fronts, Nur has chosen to focus instead on sex, marriage and invisible hand-shakes. Worthy causes in and of themselves but in the greater scheme of things, specially in these times we live in, utterly trivial. I understand eNuri is an enterprise but its goals are unclear and its focus unadjusted at the moment. And knowing full well how difficult the conditions Allah placed on having multiple wives, the enterprise still chooses polygyny as it's flagship product. No matter. Nur ought to know that "competing in the free world of thoughts" also allows consumers to let their wallets (in this case coming to shop or learn from eNuri) do the voting. Superficial and sensationalistic looks at a narrow field of issues spells disaster for eNuri and may ultimately relegate it to obscure and irrelevant areas of the discourse. Certainly not a place where eNuri nor its ever decreasing fan base would like to be. Nin kuu digay kuma dilin.

[Zafir]

Posted by Castro

At a time when the Ummah (specially Somalia) faces crises on many fronts, Nur has chosen to focus instead on sex, marriage and invisible hand-shakes. Worthy causes in and of themselves but in the greater scheme of things, specially in these times we live in, utterly trivial

I’ll assume you’d rather he (Nur) talk about the crisis in Somalia and the cartoon issues to deem him or eNuri significant. Well, I happen to think that’s utterly absurd sxb for you have completely missed the elements his posts. I tell you this not because I am a member of nur’s fan club, because your thought process of the above post was slanted sxb. Nur’s posts are veiled and obvious at the same time for it’s purpose, ultimate objective in to remind you and I to get closer to Allah (Cazaa wa jallaa) how you saw that as trivial is beyond my comprehension. "Nin kuu digay kuma dilin"

.

[Naden]

 

This is the funniest schtick I've read in ages. 'Macroeconomics of the restless muslim man: Jump ship and walk away from your family and the casualties would number only ONE'.

 

the sooner a woman takes control of the situation the better, her options are sharing her husband or divorce, divorce has two parties, both are unhappy, polygamy has three parties, one is unhappy.

[Mr.Faarax]

Originally posted by Zafir

Good faraxs on the other hand look for women in the wrong places, such as family (you and I both know someone (one side of the family) is pound to hurt). Other times wrong timing, good faraxs meet someone they like and they are ready to settle down, but women aren’t (thinking they can do better, they just give you sugar coded rejection). Seldom good faraxs are picky and demeaning to the women that approach them. Good faraaxs are cursed (in any good or bad way of the word cursed)

You hit the target

[sheherazade]

Indeed, any attempt to bring to the open bitter real issues is worthy of my time and effort, and like medicine it may be undesirable at times, but it makes people think laterally against conventional wisdom, besides, pleasing people is not our objective at eNuri and company, Allah is.

 

You have bought into your own hype. How are you sure you are pleasing the Lord with the frequent re-return to this matter? Just because it is displeasing to us women, and don't forget we are Muslims and have some knowledge, why does that allow you to dig in your heels? Could we not have a valid point based on our knowledge, understanding of the deen and comprehension of you words? Or is it all about you?

 

If a woman is hurt due to polygamy, she can throw blame around, pointing a finger here and there, but there are always fingers pointing back at here, the dilemma is two sided its not simple .

Who CHOSE to marry another as a solution to the dilemma whatever it may be?

 

The right to marry again for a man is does not require an approval from a present wife, any pain of jealousy, anger, frustration that she suffers has to do with the way she deals with the problem, not necessarily what her husband did, its how she responds to the news that can make or brake her mind and at times her soul, polygamy is an institution that is meant to solve a problem, not create a problem, bot Farax and Xalimo are in marriage for mutual fulfillment of their needs, these needs however do change with the passing of time, at which point a Farax may come to a crossroads of options. Unfulfilled need, Divorce, polygamy, each one of these carry a price, for the kids, Xalimo and Faarax, and the unmarried single woman who does not mind to be # 2, if the # 1 will agree, but is scared to death from the fall out of anger and trouble, this thread was looking for unbiased solution from a mature audience, the minute our persons get involved, we lose sight of problem at hand.

 

What is unfulfilled need? Sex with another woman? Children? And if a man does not need approval from wife 1 why should any woman who wants to be wife 2 care if the man himself will go along with it regardless of what wife 1 thinks?

 

divorce has two parties, both are unhappy, polygamy has three parties, one is unhappy.

 

And there we have it. He shouldn't be put in a position where he's unhappy- sticking with wife 1 if that's what she prefers- but she can be put in a position where she's unhappy if that's what he wants. Right, there, is everything you get at when you write about this matter over and over.

 

As for damage, yes our Somali women are entitled to a traditional compensation called

MASEYR-TIR, (literally meaning removing the pain of jealousy, that was why I suggested the policy of having a pet project as Maseyrtir).

 

Back to jealousy and tradition neither of which are always valid.

 

Recently I had a conversation with a brilliant , single,professional young Hijabi sister, very religious and very successful in her profession , she confided in me that like any other woman, at first she could never think of being wife #2, however at 27 and after so many undesirable offers, she is having second thoughts, she quipped half jokingly that as long as he is rich and successful, she wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on his wealth and hers to be.

 

That's very half-religious and very full- generalising of her.

 

Nur, more than anything it's getting boring, the shove-polygamy-down-our-throats-campaign. To compound it, your approach is patronising, your argument unconvincing, your plot flimsy. If you're going to continue, up your game. Quality not quantity in your posts on the Women's section pertaining to polygamy.

 

Thanks for the quick response. And thanks to the rest for letting the man speak for himself.

[Nur]

Castro bro.

 

You write:

 

At a time when the Ummah (specially Somalia) faces crises on many fronts, Nur has chosen to focus instead on sex, marriage and invisible hand-shakes, Worthy causes in and of themselves BUT......................................................BUT, in the GREATER SCHEME of things, specially in these times we live in, utterly trivial. I understand eNuri is an enterprise but its goals are unclear and its focus unadjusted at the moment. And knowing full well how difficult the conditions Allah placed on having multiple wives, the enterprise still chooses polygymy as it's flagship product

 

 

Answer:

 

Of all eNuri Products on this website data base, issues on women are far less than the rest proportionally, has always been that way and we regret we are not doing more, but inshAllah we will. We think big, we act small, change begins from within, the indiviudal, their intimate relationships, the family, the community, and the nation. Any change movement that ignores the individual and their daily peronal concerns is doomed to failure, America was founded by people fleeing oppression in Europe who formed colonies of family valued immigfrants, the Amish, the Menonites, Americas might was based on something right America did centuries ago. However, today The world is in a mess, and so is our Somali nation, and for that purpose eNuri has to its record products appearing on the Politics section, General section and Islam, all addressing the world isues such as Bushladenism, Somali National dilemma and creative ways to solve our problems as a hint to anyone reading it to share it until it finds a champion, we have posted articles such as Neutral Somalia, 91.0 Somalia System Crash, etc as a clue to the clueless, approaching them from light hearted Anarchist posts, to serious provocative posts such as Politicians and Prostitutes.

 

For the community we have posted issues that concern the youth, Halal boyfriend/Girlfriend from eductaion to adjusting in the west , tribalism, such as a letter to the Chief Cag Bakayle.

 

For the individual we have issued many posts that have earned our enterprise a lots of appreciation, topics that range from dealing with problems, Islamic friendly jobs, Tawheed, Tazkiyaht u Nafs, Love, and maintaining happiness.

 

 

Polygamy is not our flagship, eNuri has products across all pages of Somaliaonline, except for Jokes and Sports sections due to priority, before you level such a canvass accusation, it will help if you can validate it, I respect your views but a little howework to view my writings and then see how much does polygamy weigh in terms of volume, will protect your credibility, we have carefully targeted the womens pages recently for both hanshake and polygamy topics to draw attention to a looming high divorce rate, unproportional broken homes, lost souls, all of which are not caused by polygamy, but by accpeted lifetsyoles of privacy protected infidelity and growing number of aging bachelorettes. Unpopular as they may seem, its our conviction that we dont have to go with the flow, we swim upstream, to respond to a higher call.

 

You write:

 

 

Nur ought to know that "competing in the free world of thoughts" also allows consumers to let their wallets (in this case coming to shop or learn from eNuri) do the voting .

 

Answer:

 

eNuri realizes that it cant be everything for everybody, A Somali Proverb says : Gari Labo Kama Wada Qosliso. We will continue to carry the right products for the right audience, those who dont like our products need not purchase, its their Allah given choice, mine is to to post, sit back and smile, and count my blesings, I love the internet, what a great way to reach and teach without getting a sore throat!

 

 

You write:

 

Superficial and sensationalistic looks at a narrow field of issues spells disaster for eNuri and may ultimately relegate it to obscure and irrelevant areas of the discourse .

 

Answer:

 

Thank you for your feedback, I will let other Nomds comment on these descriptions of my posts: SUPERFCIAL, SENSATIONALISM, NARROW FIELD , as a matter of fact our customer Service department will post a poll on this one soon inshAllah, lets see.

 

You write:

 

Certainly not a place where eNuri nor its ever decreasing fan base would like to be. Nin kuu digay kuma dilin .

 

 

Answer:

 

Our stock prices, like any other commodities, being traded on the open waves of the wide world of wisdoms, has been falctuating for the past five years at Somlinet and Somaliaonline, and on other boards before that, our stock performance has only one solid measure, ALLAH'S ACCEPTANCE OF OUR NIYAH ( Drivers). Prophet Noah had 12 followers in 950 years, eNuri has 33 votes in 4 years, on SOl, how many of those 33 would actually ride my eNuri boat? well that is a different story altogether, and I am in no way comparing myself to a Prophet of Allah SWT, the example was meant to highlight that popular acceptance of an eNuri idea not to be a measure of its success.

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

Shaherazade sis

 

you write:

 

 

You have bought into your own hype. How are you sure you are pleasing the Lord with the frequent re-return to this matter?

 

Answer:

 

By gving sisters like you that Polygamy is not always bad, Allah made it Halal and if we all follow His guidlelines, it can solve social problems we face today in our community, imagine your best friend being married to your husband, assuring you that he is in good hands, your kids are well fed, and whe you come home you have one big happy family?

 

 

You write:

 

Just because it is displeasing to us women, and don't forget we are Muslims and have some knowledge, why does that allow you to dig in your heels? Could we not have a valid point based on our knowledge, understanding of the deen and comprehension of you words? Or is it all about you?

 

Answer:

 

Instead of teling me about your knowledge, please share it, come forward with the knowledge that aids your point of view to discredit mine, from Quraan and Sunnah, that is the proper way of moderation.

 

 

You Write:

 

 

Who CHOSE to marry another as a solution to the dilemma whatever it may be?

 

Answer : The husband Faarax did, after complaining that his Halimo is no longer giving him the attention she used to give him before.

 

 

You write;

 

What is unfulfilled need? Sex with another woman? Children?

 

Answer: Yes, would you stay with a husband if he turns to be impotent permanently? or if he cant sire?

 

You write;

 

And if a man does not need approval from wife 1 why should any woman who wants to be wife 2 care if the man himself will go along with it regardless of what wife 1 thinks?

 

Answer:

 

Assuming Wifey #2 to be as intelligent as you are, she cares for her huband wellbeing, she would be waorried to marry a man who is unergoing a hostage crises, being manipulated by leveraging the kids, kids being used as a weapon to disrupt the new relatiosnship, so after a failed polygamy attempt, you have three losers, the husband is bitter, the wife #1 is never forgiving,a nd wife to be #2 is antagonized by wife # One's ( all or None)behaviour of monoploy of a decent Faarax.

 

 

You write:

 

 

And there we have it. He shouldn't be put in a position where he's unhappy- sticking with wife 1 if that's what she prefers- but she can be put in a position where she's unhappy if that's what he wants. Right, there, is everything you get at when you write about this matter over and over.

 

Answer:

 

No my dear sister, we have a situation of 3 people being unhappy, two people unhappy, or one person being unhappy. Now, I am baffled, can you tell me what is the solution? this is the reason of the debate?

 

 

Your write;

 

 

Back to jealousy and tradition neither of which are always valid.

 

Answer: Thats right. but most times they are.

 

 

You write;

 

Nur, more than anything it's getting boring, the shove-polygamy-down-our-throats-campaign. To compound it, your approach is patronising, your argument unconvincing, your plot flimsy. If you're going to continue, up your game. Quality not quantity in your posts on the Women's section pertaining to polygamy.

 

 

Sheherzade sis

 

I feel for you sis, your words speak emotions all over, I will assure you that if you dont like it for yourself that it will not happen, isnhAllah (unless you are #1), but this medium is quite public, I have read a lot of what you write that I dont accept, but I never came to protest it, I respect that your ideas have fans, so i keep my views on your views to myself unless I have a valid argument to negate it in a constructive way, as a moderator, you are expected to keep your composture, open mindedness, (sicat sadr) in Arabic, repeating your boredom may signal impatience, moderators need patience to succeed in their roles. And while I am at it, I shall excercise my full rights to bore, I shall repost my last polygamy contraversial post again, and again, an again.

 

 

Nur

[Khayr]

Originally posted by Nur:

Sheherzade sis

 

I feel for you sis, your words speak emotions all over them, I will assure you that if you dont like it for yourself that it will not happen, isnhAllah (unless you are #1), but this medium is quite pubic, I have read a lot of wat yo write that I dont accept, but I never came to protest it, I respect that your ideas have fans, so i keep my views on your views to myself unless I have a valid argument to negate it in a constructive waw, as a moderator, you are expected to keep your composture, open mindedness, (sicat sadr) in Arabic, repeating your boredom may signal impatience, moderators need patience to succeed in their roles.

And while I am at it, I shall excercise my full rights to bore, I shall repost my last polygamy contraversial post again, and again, an again.

 

Nur