Would you marry someone you were not attracted to ?

[JUSTICE]

I would not really care about love and attraction as long as the person is well educated and can take the responsibility.

 

First lady, it all depend in your age as well and if you have reached your thirties, in that case you have limited chance with good guys. If you are younger than that, then don't worry, keep looking for your prince charming .

[cynical lady]

it all depend in your age as well and if you have reached your thirties, in that case you have limited chance with good guys

nonsensical!

[nuune]

Justice, dat is da worst comment I have seen so far in forums!

[The Zack]

^But it is also true. The older the girl gets the less chances she will have to get educated, responsible husband. Not that we are saying it is not going to happen at all but the chances are very very slim!

 

Age is a big factor when it comes to marriage.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Don't marry for combatability or status. Looks arent everything and butterflies do go away however,if you'rnot attracted to him(his personality, sense of humor, values, education, manners) then for God's sake DON'T. This is a life-changing decision and you don't want to regret it 1,2,3or 10years from now. Choose wisely and dont worry about time.

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by FirstLady:

Dear SOL nomads, this question has arisen when young educated somali brother asked me for my hand. He is good standard looks. Regardless of how he dresses even if it is the most impressive I am not attracted to him one bit. I don't think about him. So, what I like to know is, can you marry someone you are not attracted to , that your heart isn't in it?

The answer to this depends on the person and the situation. There are no wrong or right answers. I personally wouldn't cross someone off if they were a nice guy and looked like reasonably good husband material, and shared common interests. In reality, all this magical butterfly in the stomach feeling wuu iska dhamaan. Marry the dude I say, even if a brush of his hand doesn't send quivers down your back or set your heart on fire. Zamanka maanta interest ba laysku guursadaa. . Adduunkii waa xumaatay!

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

Marry him

[Abaay Heylay]

Marriage is supposed to be full of happiness, if your not attracted to this person what is the point of marrying. You don't have to put yourself a burden if you simply are not attract to this person move on. But remember to pray salatul istikhara and to put your tawakul in Allah(S.W.A).

[JUSTICE]

nonsensical!

Justice, dat is da worst comment I have seen so far in forums!

It’s what life has thought me so far ladies and gentleman, this is my own outlook, take it or leave it. :rolleyes:

[- Femme -]

I'm pretty sure asked what SOL members would do in that kind of situation not what SHE should do.

 

First Lady --- I'm not really sure what you mean by not 'attracted' to him. Since you said he has good standard looks--- I'm not really sure you mean not attracted to his physical looks/appearance or his personality/character/goals/etc.

 

In your head...think about specific reasons why you're not attracted to the said person. When making a decision it's good to be really specific about the pro & cons instead of making a blanket statement i.e. 'not attracted'.

 

Lastly --- be kind and don't lead him on or make him wait while you think about it. Be honest ASAP but spare his feelings too. Nobody likes to be rejected.

 

Hope that helps!

[Legend of Zu]

^^^^You sometimes throw little snipetts of wisdom! Good on you Femme!

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by JUSTICE:

First lady, it all depend in your age as well and if you have reached your thirties, in that case you have limited chance with good guys. If you are younger than that, then don't worry, keep looking for your prince charming

.

So very very true...You're right on point my dear...

 

I believe, once a woman reaches certain age, her standards should be lowered just a tiny bit , no lie there...Hadii kale wax dhaaxaad marketka wey ku jiri...

 

1stlady, what don't you find attractive about him? Is it just the looks; Personality; His outlook on life; what? Some things could be overlooked, as we are only humans and far from perfect; however, certain things/qualities aren't even worth trying...

 

Good luck!

[finestsista2005]

Hi SOL friends although it has taken me a while to reply to all of your posts to my topic. I am happy to say I have taken some of your advices and decided to cool it. Attraction is something that should be in a relationship and is not necessary based on only good looks but attraction from the heart. So, I have taken the highway on that one and waiting for my calaf. Thanks for the replies guys.

[Kool_Kat]

Glad to hear that sis...Insha'allah kheyr!

[Jacaylbaro]

Ahh ,, you should go ahead with the issue ,, you would've been pregnant by now ,,,,