Qac Qaac Posted September 8, 2004 Qacbaro,,,, Pulling ka waad ka xishootaa ?? looooooooooooooool i can see u like PUSHING only Waraa Pushing na waan ka naxaa. adi pushing maxaa ka wadaa, gaari gacmeed la jiidaayaa, aree looooooool. waraa u 2.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted September 9, 2004 Rahima, Yes abaayo, as you put it, As for Somali culture, it is not the Qur’an brother I totally agree, but that doesn't make the imitation of western cultures sacred. Rahima, if you look at our religion, you can't find any verse or hadiith that commands men to attend the delivery of their wives. So, the question is where did that come from? I think it is obvious that the idea of attending the delivery of ones' wife was derived from western values. In fact, the prophet (scw) once said in an authentic narration that this Ummah will follow the footsteps of those before them. And the companions asked what he meant "them". He replied, "the jewish and the christians". All am saying is this, they have a culture, and we have a better culture. Therefore, let's not attempt to borrow and adopt their values, because in reality we're the one that will lose if we deviate our cultural values. Ibros Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted September 9, 2004 Alle-ubaahne I totally agree, but that doesn't make the imitation of western cultures sacred. Rahima, if you look at our religion, you can't find any verse or hadiith that commands men to attend the delivery of their wives. The wonderful thing about our religion brother is that it is not a rigid religion in the sense that everything is not to be considered xaraam if it is not specified that it is xalaal. The rule is that as I’ve said already, except for issues of worship all is xalaal unless specified as xaraam, therefore since it does not say in the Qur’an and Sunnah that it is xaraam for a man to be in the delivery room with his wife, then by process of elimination it is allowed/permissible. By His infinite wisdom Allah has specified for us all that we should avoid because the greater part of issues in life are allowed. Can you imagine ayahs in the Qur’an saying “Oh mankind We have made it permissible for you to eat, drink, sleep, blink, move your finger, type the letter ‘a’ etcâ€. Sure enough at times Allah specifies those things which He has made permissible for us, but not all things. There are issues which do not fall in the clear cut xaraam and xalaal categorization. These issues are called mubaax (permissible), such as eating and drinking. If done with the correct intention such as one will eat/drink and sleep to be able to better worship Allah, then it can become an act of cibaada. Therefore if a husband goes into the delivery room with his wife to say ease her pain by comforting her and he does this to please Allah (for a husband and wife receive ajar when they show kindness to one another for the sake of Allah), then it can become an act of cibaada for him. As for whose culture it is, I can’t say exactly but personally there is nothing wrong with adopting that which is good of other cultures. The PC that you are using right now was created by a non-Muslim, so is that necessarily a bad thing? No of course not, we accept that which is good and reject that which opposes Islam. Personally whilst I’m all for certain aspects of our culture, there are many others (especially those surrounding women’s issues) that need a transformation, that need to be up heaved and as far as I’m concerned the sooner the better. Each to their own though, but for me inshallah my husband will have to (I’ve had a change of heart) enter with me. He MUST appreciate the process and have some sort of understanding about the pain and suffering we go through. Inshallah it will make him more appreciative. Qac, Like i said each to their own, but let's not claim that it is unislamic. And anyway, ain't nothing wrong with the brother and I disagreeing . Just make sure that both you and Alle-ubaahne discuss this with your future spouse . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted September 9, 2004 Is he in or out? The real question should be, whether I am in or out. lol. I watched a video of a lady giving birth in one of those required health classes we had to do in Middle School. Yeah, that's when I decided that even I wouldn't be there.. On a more serious note, exactly why shouldn't he be there? A simple act like cutting the ambilical (?sp) cord or holding her hand can be the strongest indication of how much love and respect are in the household and increase the bond between man, woman and child. Oh, but I guess this is a foreign western concept. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted September 9, 2004 This is gonna be long story now ! ! IS HE IN OR OUT ?? IN or OUT ...... I'll be out ... ilaahay ima tuso meeshaas oo dhiiqaysan ..... qofkii raba inuu joogo,,,, waan joogaa lee ha dhaho,,, bes ,, warkaan kele iska dhaafa. I only know how to dig and please it .. . that is it ! ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent-sistah Posted September 9, 2004 u know what guys...for the 1st time im gone agree with the dude above me.. i think when the topic started, there was a fair number of sisters that prefferred the men out.... and as the topic progressed a few brothers have stated they would stay to please their wifey,,, so everyone, find someone that pleases u, and lets all be on our merry way and increase the ummah! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by silent-sistah: uso everyone, find someone that pleases u, and lets all be on our merry way and increase the ummah! Yeah,, Thanks Silent-sistah,,,, that is da way it should be,,,,,coz u can see ppl r just talkin' & talkin' . . . let's finilize da topic and get da hell out of here. Just jokin' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted September 9, 2004 . . . let's finilize da topic and get da hell out of here. As the restless man said to his wife while she was giving birth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent-sistah Posted September 9, 2004 ^------walaahay your a joka (MashaAllah) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted September 9, 2004 why finalize it, let the topic continue... until it gets over blown. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted September 9, 2004 Each to their own though, but for me inshallah my husband will have to (I’ve had a change of heart) enter with me. He MUST appreciate the process and have some sort of understanding about the pain and suffering we go through. Inshallah it will make him more appreciative. Dear Rahima, Can I be that person, the husband you wish for in the future, because that is the only reason I can withdraw from my traditional stance. Ehehehe, am joking may be, Ok. Anyway, let's consider the conservation of our culture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lake Da agony Posted September 9, 2004 I rather be around..but not actually see it, just to hold her hand is fine...I don't want to see her wide open...there somethings u shouldn't able to see and are off limits Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent-sistah Posted September 9, 2004 ^^^^_________im embarrassed **red cheeks and hot flushes** but im still gone ask the Question that made me feel this way....nyce dont u look when u doing the deed? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lake Da agony Posted September 9, 2004 I wouldn't know right? lol...I'm a good kid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazra Posted September 10, 2004 This could well turn out to be an argument with your husband. lol, many of the responses here were hilarious as well as serious. Many change my views on this topic. It's odd now, cause having heard from the males and females here, makes me think twice about this odd question that needed no thought if i grew up in Somalia. I Have Come To Conclude That: It's best to let him decide. If he can't bare the thought of coming... then sweet there's always a loved one in the family that could be there for you. And if he chooses to be there for you... what a husband. So the decsion is left to him and with me accepting both of them kindly. He has the right to be there, and he has the right to choose. I know i wanna be there to releive my pain and give birth ASAP. Going into a marraige now... i know i'm kool with what he wants. Allah knows how much my mum's support means to me then his. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
