- Femme - Posted September 2, 2004 There is no right or wrong here. This is a case of personal choice and its between the husband and wife to decide. No one can pass judgement on a man's character depending on whether or not hes in the delivery room. That does not make a difference at all. Its how he treat you at home that matters...after the baby comes. Will he sit on the couch and demand you to prepare the meals and do all the housechores even though you werent out of the hospital for twenty four hours yet? Or will he help and try everything in his power to make you comfortable? A few hours in the delivery room doesnt do anything I believe. HUH! WHO CARES. NEVERMIND. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted September 2, 2004 Xoogsade is a “girlyman†to quote Arnold. Fellas I’ve been there and done that, and I can assure you that this event is life-altering experience. I didn’t want to go in there (I have my own reasons and no I’m not afraid of blood) but my poor wife screams made me do it. Every time she calls Alla hooyooy, Baashiyoow, I would go in and the scissor-wielding doc and her nurse would assure me that everything is all right. The doc had it and she protested that my running in and out of the room as a distraction and the damn doc said we can use one person...why don’t you stay and hold her hands Baashi. For five excruciating hours, bush now, take deep breath and push it hard ritual, the scream, the crying, the wrestling exercise (her hands were all mine to control), I start begging her to let doc administer the drug (despite the side effects) I just wanted to get outta there...she refused. Finally, with lil cooperation of Baashi Jr., it was all over. No c-section, no other complication...wait both my hands sustained three deep punctures as result of her nails making their way into my flesh as she tried to get a grip for the push that delivered the Jr. out of her body. If that was not enough the doc wanted me to cut the cord and before I knew it, the scissor was handed to me...I had to do it. Doc and the nurses all smiled... My advice to you is do as she wishes and don’t turn her down if you being by her side makes her feel better. Yes, you are powerless in there and yes you feel helpless but still your presence matters to some. Be there for her if you can or convince her of why you don’t wanna be there before the real thing happens. The morning before that memorable night, I moved earth and heaven to talk to her out of wanting me being in that room when the real thing starts kicking. It worked but the Alla hooyooy thing and the damn doc changed the whole thing. No regrets though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted September 2, 2004 LoooL@GirlyMan, Baashi, You killed me. Juxa called some of us Wimps as well looool. Ceebtaaba iigu daran Qof dumar ah haku tiraahdo "Wimpy". It is possible that I change my mind and show some courage if the need be. Laakiin hadda sidey wax iila Muuqdaan, This is traumatizing event. It was nice people talked about this. I for one have learned something. Ilaahey ha u yasiro Naag walboo dhaleyso. I was thinking earlier may be I should be more careful in dealing with Mom although I am Baari according to her Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted September 3, 2004 baashi, i agree. when push come to shove, its yr wifey and yr baby on da way. so as much as you go, aniga ma samaynkaro, u will be there shoobaro, thnx dearie. i think, and its not only somalimen, the real issue could be something entirely different. when a man is in that room, alot of things changes. yes he sees what his wife goes thro, yes he is a witness (willing or not), yes its bound to change his views of marriage life. insha allah if he has IIMAAN he will realise, its all part of the big plan, and allah never impose on us women something we can not do. its his faith is us and our faith in him that gets us tho finally, research has shown that those men who are present in the delivery room, suffer some phychological after-effect. some even suffer a temperory loss of apetiate for you-know-what, as a result of guilt :confused: maybe that is part of the reason they would rather not go in the delivery room. maybe they dont wanna see first hand, maybe they dont want to shatter their illusions. and next time they go, honey i think iam not getting enough :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted September 3, 2004 finally, research has shown that those men who are present in the delivery room, suffer some phychological after-effect. some even suffer a temperory loss of apetiate for you-know-what, as a result of guilt Subxanallah.... loss of appetiate... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted September 3, 2004 Originally posted by Princess_Sexy: What a bunch of wimps. Alle-ubaahne Not every tradition in the Somali culture is suitable for every individual. .(and BTW, that comparison holds no water) As far as the mere-values comment goes, childbirth is a blessing that should be celebrated by both parents, not just tolerated. I don’t think many of you men understand the impact of your presence, or the impact of your absence. As far as I’m concerned, that “no-show†practice becomes the base of a “no show†husband/father in other situations. And many of you guys are misinterpreting the “being there†part. You don’t have to watch the actual birth (well at least in my case). I can understand, its only natural that it may gross you out. But standing there beside me is a whole other case of its own. You may not think your doing much, but it’s the little things that can make difference…...keep that in mind. Sister, My position is clear as to where I stand from the Somali culture I always adhere to, But can't you share with us what culture you coming from, since you disregard the moral and ethical standards of Somali culture. I look forward to reading your remarks pertaining to the culture you stick to for supporting your arguments. Ibros, (Alle-ubaahne) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted September 3, 2004 Was it Princess_Sexy that called Us Wimps? And I was blaming Juxa lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xarago Posted September 3, 2004 Wa bila Somali culture. Ok boys lets play your game. Somali culture does not allow you to hold hands with women in the streets, it does not allow you to take them to dinner or out on a date, it does not allow you get jiggy, well unless. And it does not allow you to make love in bright room and permits only strictly orthodox way. yet you break all these rules and when it comes to holding hands at her time of pain and helping her pushhhhh, you run and hide behind the culture. Besides there are many girls as stated by juuxa who will not appreciate your presence at that time to see them weak, but on the other hand there is nothing wrong with it, and you are certainly not breaking any book of conduct. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AYOUB Posted September 3, 2004 ^^^loooooooool Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted September 4, 2004 Waar naga dhaafa yaa akhii,,,,, War bahalka wuxuu ku fiican yahay isaga oo dhaqan oo diyaar ah inaad ka shaqayso bes,,,, mar hadii aad isaga oo noocaas ah aragto waad nacaysaaye naga dhaaf yaa akhii aan iska raaxaysanee,,,, iyadana isla hal daqiiqo ka dib way iloobaysaa dhibta oo soo raaxo doonanaysaaye. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted September 4, 2004 ^^^^^^^^alow yaaa ku marjiya oo kugu jano taga :mad: :mad: as i said before, it take a man, to reap his miro. naga dhaafa calaacalka badan, most men cant stand seeing. and i dont think they much help anyway. let them have some dignity, intey suuxi lahaayeen, let them pace the corridors. yaa allah, <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<am still waitin for that warrior, who does no jiqjiq, and is there thro thick and thin. :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted September 4, 2004 JacaylBaro Lol! Now thats X rated. We have kids browsing the site! And to make this comment to you, I am in the Women section again (I regret this), but many men and even some women don't want the husband to be in for that reason your stated. Some views change with the changes of the view of the process. Miracle on the one hand, repellant on the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuujiye Posted September 4, 2004 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa jaceel baro waraa caadi ma tihid..looooooooooooool... waa nacee kulahaa..lol.... ya bintii juxaa or should I say mama Juxaa nagdaa suxulka caatada ah aa nagu wadid yaaqee.. Sabaxad duureed aan kula kacee runtii.. Aniga In aan xaaskeyga qol kula jiro oona la dareemo xanuunkeeda wax aan ka jeclaan lahaa majirto. Is my dreem actualy.Iinsha allah.. wareer badanaa!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted September 4, 2004 ^^^^^^^^^^^ i think i already vented my dislike, both publicly and privately :rolleyes: :rolleyes: J11, as u said there are kids browsing, moi included Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dhagax-Tuur Posted September 4, 2004 Salaam y'all. This reminds me of a guy who witnessed the birth of his first child. It has been quoted that his only words to the lady during the process was....IF I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE THE CASE, I WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED........ Btw, Islam comes before everything else. What does Islam say about this. Is it permissible for the husband to be there or not? If Islam allows me to, I would, if not, unless it is really necessary, I wouldn't. Full stop. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
