Nazra Posted August 31, 2004 I was discussing this with one of my best friend who can talk about anything openly. Which I value in our a friendship. We always talked about everything silly to dirty. But for once we had disagreement about ‘your husband being there present, watching you (mind you not supporting) but watching you give birth.’ I know many of us are dating or not dating or focused on planning to get married let alone think about this unless put in that situation. But this question is serious for future Somali mums and yeah society is changing with most fathers being apart of the birth process. And who knows Somali mothers might not end up looking like a single women giving birth at hospitals. Unlike my friend, who said: "so what, he been/seen it... so, what's the problem" I'm quiet the opposite. I see a lot of problems to it... I think I like, and value the old tradition... which is simply no lights, unwrapped quntino and macamuus and wrap on... as soon as lights come on. Source of light: Moon. As for brith... you were in and out of the bushes/hospitals without him knowing how long it took. I been thinking about this, and I always needed my mum for everything and her support is essential to my life and I would like her to be present. And I don't think I need to ask her to be there, but I do need to ask my husband not to be there. But what would you do, at 2am your water is broke and your husband is more then keen to help out and be there??? And what Somali man would like to be there? But then again, the pain can change your thinking process. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted September 1, 2004 From a traditionalist point of view, he must be out, and learn the results out side the scene. That is what I think is proper, in terms of, acting upon the dictates of our beautiful culture. Ibros (All-ubaahne) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 1, 2004 ofcourse dear! i'd like for him to stay and possibly video tape the entire process ... just as a reminder of wat i'd gone through...kinda like a deterrent on any future kids....kiddin ppl...ofcourse i dont want it video taped!! i haven't gotten that crazy ..yet! but havin the father of my child there to hold my hand would be nice..i mean i didn't get pregnant on my own and i sure as hell aint havin it on my own either! ciao. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted September 1, 2004 Let's respect our culture ,,,,, not to jump to other one as our society always do. I prefere not to be there,,,,,just to be around would be enough rather than watching her giving birth . . . About the video tape,,,,that is another story,, and don't even deserve to mention. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted September 1, 2004 If I was giving birth, I'd want my husband to be there, so he can see exactly how much pain he caused me. I'm a firm believer in sharing my misery and especially my pain. I won't let him forget a single detail. I'd remind him every day of what I went through to deliver his child. In fact, I'll have someone videotape the whole ordeal, and in the future if he opposes me in anything, I'll just show him the tape of me suffering endless hours of excruciating pain, and tell him: "Once you've gone through the same thing I have, only then are you allowed to argue with me, now go buy me that expensive necklace!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted September 1, 2004 Lo Xu, sis thats part of womanhood, do you really need to blackmail him???? Like your style though. Anyway I would also prefer him to be there. Wipe my forehead, make me say duas and remember Allahs name at such a tough time.Instead of saying some senseless stuff. Some of you may have heard what the women say in labor which is really shameful. I wouldnt advice any man holding his wifes hand at a time like that. You may crush them or end up biting him seen it happen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salma Posted September 1, 2004 Whoever wanna record their moments of pain and tears with their husbands, gotta start from the begining, from da first night of their Marriage . We are talking about PAINNN here. KKKKK J/K Well, I guess it's kinda embarrassing to record such thing on a video tape. Besmellahi raxmani raxeem :eek: (screams,pain,tears, blood,,, that's a Horror movie). I guess the husband should be aware about his wife's pain without tapes. Not only during the delivery time, but also b4 that, during her pregnancy (da whole 9 months). I mean if my husband didn't feel or care about my pregnancy pain (Vomitting, hating foods, da Weswes,nausea, headaches bla bla bla) then what is the use of the recording tapes anyway. It's only Almighty Allah who help and support the mothers during delivery. May Allah help all the mothers and reward them. Amin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golden Girl Posted September 1, 2004 Waryaa Dude u call it sh!t????? u can`t be that grudging! Agteey Hasoo marin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golden Girl Posted September 1, 2004 personnly i would`nt have wanted him to be in. he does understands the pain so there is no need for him to stand there and look at mee(ewe) he can`t help anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted September 1, 2004 marka horeba maxaan dad kale ugu ogalaan iney naagteyda ka dhaliyaan, anaa ka dhalin oo soo jiidi cunuga, no way am gona allow another person to deliver my child, anaa xaq u leh inaan arko gacanta ugu soo horreeso oo soo baxdo ama minjaha, cunuga xuduntiisa dheer inaan ugu hor arko waa farxad in la igaga hor marana ma doonayo walaa hooyo walaa dhakhtar walaa jinni iyo jaan kale, marka kolleey su'aashiina aniga ima quseeso full stop, anaa ka dhalin naagteyda oo shanta farood la gali, that is all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking Posted September 1, 2004 I would not recommend for a guy to be present in a delivery room. I never thought it would be that traumatising :rolleyes: ...it was several years ago but I haven't recovered fully yet. lol@Boolbaro, You are one sick individual. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by Boolbaro: marka horeba maxaan dad kale ugu ogalaan iney naagteyda ka dhaliyaan, anaa ka dhalin oo soo jiidi cunuga, no way am gona allow another person to deliver my child, anaa xaq u leh inaan arko gacanta ugu soo horreeso oo soo baxdo ama minjaha, cunuga xuduntiisa dheer inaan ugu hor arko waa farxad in la igaga hor marana ma doonayo walaa hooyo walaa dhakhtar walaa jinni iyo jaan kale, marka kolleey su'aashiina aniga ima quseeso full stop, anaa ka dhalin naagteyda oo shanta farood la gali, that is all Goodness, lol, I'd pity your poor wife when you start yanking things out down there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cawralo Posted September 1, 2004 Until about 3 weeks ago, I would definetly have said IN. But then I wittnessed a birth. Acuudi bilaahi minal shaydaani rajiim. You know how ppl always say that childbirth is beautiful, a miracle, a wonderful experience..BULL, that's just propaganda. OUUT! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawoco Posted September 1, 2004 Xu, you and i have many things in common! Jst imagine the guilt value one birth givs u. For years u would have a slave better than any booyaaso, ah what a dream image. Having said that, it's not wise as i am a spoilt child that always had her way and was never hurt in any way, because i would want to hurt him thrice as much as i am hurting... *wonders if u can take blunt objects into the delivery room* Boolbaro, rag ragiisa kale jirin. Go for it, don't even let ur wife see a doctor during the pregnancy and examin her urself. And have a home delivery, in a bath or something, laakin don't but shaambo in the bath to clean stuff...That would'nt be healthy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted September 1, 2004 dawaco, iam sure i can take care of everything, so thanks walaalo for that shaamboo,it really helps, healthy is everything, iam urologist by some chance, so i know where and where the baby uu soo marayo iyo waddooyinka uu soo qaadayo, i can even sense and tell when my wife is about to break her water. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
