ARRANGED MARRIAGE

[MVP]

Here is a very important tip... do not leave bride-hunting to your parents! Beauty is going to be the last of their priorities, coming after caste, horoscopes, family background, perceived virtue of the girl etc. Make it very clear to them that beauty is high on your list of priorities. State in no uncertain terms that you will not marry anyone who does not measure up to your standards. That will prevent them from goofing off during bride-hunting, shirking their responsibilities and palming off some family-friend's daughter on you.

 

Another unpalatable fact is that your mother will not want you to marry someone too beautiful. This often comes as a surprise to most sons, but the reason is simple. Mothers know that, sooner or later, there will be a tussle between her and her daughter-in-law over her son's affections and loyalties. Since women are extremely conscious of their looks and tend to rate themselves accordingly, a beautiful woman has a psychological advantage over a less attractive one in an argument. Also, your mother knows that a beautiful wife will tilt the scales against her as far as you are concerned, since such a wife will probably have you dangling by the balls, if you pardon the expression. So, left to herself, your mother will limit her search to women who are less attractive than she perceives herself to be.

 

Before you start on your bride-hunting, you should convince yourself that you deserve a beautiful wife. Do not ever think, "But I am not so good-looking anyway, what right have I to demand a lovely girl?" Since Man started walking the earth, it has been the man's wealth that has been traded off for the woman's beauty. Rest assured that your looks will be the last thing on a girl's mind when she rates you as a prospective husband. (I am limiting myself to arranged marriages here). She will be weighing your earning potential, green-card potential etc. Even in this land of feminism, "Cosmopolitan" has articles on "How to hook a rich husband" and "The ten best places to meet successful men".

 

You have worked hard, and wasted ten of the most wonderful years of your life getting where you are. You deserve to get something out of it. Do not squander your bargaining position. In other words, do not be ashamed to make your preference for beauty known.

 

How to check whether she is beautiful.

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First of all, never consent to marry a girl whom you have seen only in photographs. PHOTOGRAPHS LIE!!!! Photography is an art that can make fat-*** halimo look like j lo. All too often, photographs sent to prospective suitors contain only the face. Also, they usually have been so air-brushed and sanitized, all the pimples and other irregularities removed, that the end product has little in common with the original. Also, it is a certain fact that no woman will consent to send you photograph that presents herself in an unflattering light.

 

These days, in the urban areas of somalia, it is often the practice to take an album-full of pictures of a girl when she gets to marriageable age. These pictures show the girl in various outfits, eastern and western. The album is then sent to prospective grooms-in-the-states. During my last visit to somalia, I learned from an authoritative source that many of these pictures are blatant forgeries, involving splicing the girl's head on to the figure of some other girl, sometimes professional models. In one case, pictures of a girl's good-looking sister were went out instead. Bottom line: do not make a decision based merely on photographs!

 

 

Once you see the girl directly, you can easily check whether her face measures up. The figure is a different matter altogether. Women have conducted more research into packaging themselves than have been conducted on the entire US space effort. You should realize that, while you were working 24/7 , women were learning the techniques of camouflage. She KNOWS that it is her looks that count. By packaging herself so that she seems attractive to a non-resident somalis for about 10 minutes, she can earn all that it took the NRI 10 years of hard work to realize. Women are extremely honest with their friends about their positive and negative points. They are intensely aware of their flaws, and work systematically towards concealing them.

 

A large percentage of women in somali have huge hips and very heavy thighs. This is mainly due to lack of exercise. it is impossible to check for these, which is why they are so popular. If a woman states that she does not wear pants, warning bells should ring in her mind. One way to check for obesity under the goono or the diric is to note the relative positions of her bosom and midriff. For a woman with a good figure, the bosom should be at a considerably higher level. If she dresses so that the bosom does not stand out, it is almost surely because she has a paunch that comes to the same level. Or she may be droopy, saggy or totally flat.

 

Let me reiterate, if a girl has something to show, she will make damned sure that you will see it.

 

One way to see how your prospective bride looks when she is not dressed up is to ask to see her family albums. NOT the ones that they keep out ostentatiously but the ones that they keep tucked away at the corner of the shelf. A lot of overweight women go through crash diets during the wedding season, starving themselves or going to professional "fat-farms" to lose dozens of pounds, to get into presentable shape for the . I i know of one woman who lost 60pounds in 8 months preparing for the wedding. She quickly gained it all back after the marriage. Pictures of the woman taken 2 or 3 years ago should tell you whether she is inclined to obesity.

 

If, on the other hand, she is a thin woman who has padded herself up to look good , there is no way on earth that you can tell. The best way to check for this sort of stuff is to enlist the help of a sympathetic, liberated, female, friend, sister or other relative. She can easily see through the disguise and give you unbiased estimates of the interior. So, if you have a sister, you had better start being nice to her.

[Samafal]

lool

For sure you have done your homework , but what amazes me most is how you presented the drama...I always thought writing was much harder than reading and that is what i least couldn't do here given the length of your article. But any how,it is some what educating and interesting topic however i am not sure the back up of your claims. Perhaps we should hear from female side of the story.

[mis_Nasima]

loooooooool mvp great advise bro if i was a man i wld be thankfull, but do u know if women really want to fool man about their looks no matter what they won't findout untill the wedding night.

 

Where u said your mother will not want you to marry someone too beautiful. Most mothers when hanting wives for their sons they usually look for beauty it might not be the first in the list but its an improtant requirement.

[GarYaQaaN]

aaahhhhhhhhh great advise man! you should write a book and titled it "the survival guide to arranged marriages" lol how u know so much?

[Ladiif]

very interesting and informative article.......tidious job for the Guurdoon guys though. I hope some nomads will suggest an easier way than this. Thanks thou..

 

Mvp, since u sound a knowledgeable person on this topic(marriage), could u say something about marriage between 2 cousins(Ilma abti/adeer labaad/sadexaad iwm) even though its not arranged by neither one of their parents? No parents involve at all. Is something wrong with this? If not, why being cousins comes your way when it comes to marriage?

 

I apologize for been out of topic!!!sorry ppl.