commitment-phobes

[Crystal_Clear]

Commitment-phobes (or CPs) come in different flavors.

 

 

Below outlines the traits of four types of commitment phobes

 

The Pity Party-Goer. She's always whining and complaining, setting herself up in relationships that couldn't work so she can keep proving to herself that relationships don't work.

 

 

The Boomerang. She keeps leaving and returning and leaving and returning to the same failing relationship... that's her way of avoiding commitment.

 

 

The Detective

She is in constant search of the perfect man, the best man, the macho man, the gorgeous man, the professional man, the well-dressed man and the man with the slamming body... If she meets a man who is well endowed, has a nice body, is professional, makes good money and seems to be attentive and kind, but has one false eye, she doesn't want him.

 

 

Picky Picker. She finds a suitable man and then picks him apart piece-by-piece. He doesn't drive the right car, he doesn't make enough money, he's bald, he's too short, he has too much belly. In the end, no one meets her stringent requirements.

 

 

Be honest, do you recognize any women in the depictions outlined above? Yeah, me too. So, let's just remember, commitment-phobia occurs with both genders.

 

 

Spotting a Commitment-phobe

 

 

So, how do you recognize a CP who won't be able to latch on for the whole ride? While it's not an exact science, there are some tell-tale signs that you should keep an eye out for. In addition to Chapman's above descriptions, which can be applied to both men and women, this checklist will get you started.

 

 

1. Doesn't Own Anything

 

 

The CP stays away from financial and time commitments as well as relationships. That means pets are out of the question and they'd rather rent things (like homes) even though they may have the ability to buy them.

 

 

2. Freelancers

 

 

CPs tend to work in careers that give them a lot of latitude and space.

 

 

3. Gradual Personality Changes

 

 

While CPs come off as very charming at first, they gradually try (often without knowing it) to sabotage the relationship by either becoming distant or argumentative.

 

 

4. Won't Plan Ahead

 

Making plans for a month or two in the future goes against the CP's nature. That would show a level of commitment that they're uncomfortable with.

 

5. Keeps You Away From Their Circle

While a CP may be very charming with your friends and family, they don't think you're going to be in their life for very long, so they'll do whatever they can to dissuade you from either meeting or engaging at length with their close friends and family.

 

 

6. Tardy

because they may not value your relationship, CPs can often be late for dates or may cancel them outright at the last minute.

 

 

7. Seduce / Rebuff

Not all CPs know that they're CPs. They tend to follow a pattern of going all-out to win someone over and then spurning that person once they've been "caught." This can take place over the course of a week, a few months or even years.

 

So now let me ask...which one are you????

[Mtoto Wa Geti Kali]

I used to be a commitment phobic as little as 5 years ago. Unfortunately the tables have turned on me; I guess karma is working its magic. Its hard fitting myself into any of the sections you stated; WHICH one do YOU fall in?

[UK_ROSE]

When i was younger, well upto last year i was a Picky Picker, then i changed and started trusting my feelings a little more. mind you i used to get a kick out of winning guys and as soon as i goe to know them well enough i dump them. not any more i am in a perfect relationship now and 50/50 give and take............... i think!!

[Malika]

There is usually a much deeper hidden fear,thus breeds the phobia..

 

Oh my,I should seek counselling very quickly, I seem to fit in with the most categories..

:eek:

[Ibtisam]

^^^lool^^

 

I fit few:

2. Freelancers

 

3. Gradual Personality Changes

 

4. Won't Plan Ahead

 

5. Keeps You Away From Their Circle

 

6. Tardy

 

:eek:

 

Its all good, I don't believe in phobes,....unless it is snakes or closed places.

 

Good to know i don't have any of the four types of commitment phobes, I just have the symptoms! lol

[Ms DD]

Where is the problem as long as one is having

bam-chicka-wow-wow good time?

[Ibtisam]

bam-chicka-wow-wow??? what is that dear?

[Ms DD]

^^ The lynx effect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZr0OnfFfMY&mode=related&search=

[Ibtisam]

^^^Lool^^I cannot believe i have not seen this ad before, or the terms. lool. I guess i should start wathcing TV. looool, it cracked me up. lool.

 

Sis like Lynx (the smell) it wears off after a while dee, I don't think most people are content with bam chicka wow wow forever. In this world everyone sees to be searching soemthing they not find Yaah uu sheeka it does not get better than short lasting bam chicka wow wow ( no bun intended)

[Malika]

Loool Xanthus, I seriously, am doing alot of soul searching, it seems thats all I do, does it mean am getting older?

 

heck!! am still spring chicken...lol

 

Lool @bam chicka wow wow factor!!

[Ibtisam]

Soul searching just makes me go around in circles, every time I think I have changed my mind and mentally progressed, I somehow always arrive right back in the same spot or similar ground, such waste of time. :rolleyes:

 

I don't think that as your get older you search more, I think it is the other way around, because you know yourself that little bit more each day, so less things to ponder on and less things to search for after early 20s. By then you know which direction you are heading, you just need to figure out how to reach there!

[Malika]

^^^true