IL CAPO Posted September 22, 2004 Strictly speaking from the brothers point of view arranged marriage is the worst case scenario and the most painful way to lose someone that you love dearly and I have seen so many brothers left to pick up the pieces all over again after they lost the girl that they have loved so much for so long through arranged marriage. I understand that every parent want what is the best for their child and I respect that but I am convinced that arranged marriage isn't the answer at all. Ladies, I would like to ask you, with your permission of course, if you would leave the man that you love and trust and know inside out for a man that you've never met before just because your parents believe he is what they call "Good Husband Material" so I would like to know if you'd throw away all the love, laughter and happiness not to mention all the beautiful history that the two of you made together for uncertain future and a new relationship? Mind you, there will always be the dilemma of comparing between the two and since you once loved one and you barely know the other will always cast a shadow over your sense of judgement and that is not fair to the man you chose to marry. Good Night Ladies & Gentlemen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted September 22, 2004 arranged marriage, that is horrible, the word is even discusting, and dat is all i can say. dhaqan ahaan anigu waxaan taabacsanahay hadana gacan siinaya ama ayidayaa in la wado ama isticmaalka arraange marreegka ah la wado, waa dhaqan ahaan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted September 22, 2004 Originally posted by IL CAPO: Ladies, I would like to ask you, with your permission of course, if you would leave the man that you love and trust and know inside out for a man that you've never met before just because your parents believe he is what they call "Good Husband Material" so I would like to know if you'd throw away all the love, laughter and happiness not to mention all the beautiful history that the two of you made together for uncertain future and a new relationship? Mind you, there will always be the dilemma of comparing between the two and since you once loved one and you barely know the other will always cast a shadow over your sense of judgement and that is not fair to the man you chose to marry. Good Night Ladies & Gentlemen. i seriously wouldn't be able to walk out of someone i truly care and love for someone i don't know jack about.. i love my parents, but if i feel that is only person who is gonna make me happy than is on babe..and "mista husband material" can find himself "wifey material" or i can hook him up with my home girls, hahahah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Araksan25 Posted September 22, 2004 Hi SOL members, I wouldnt walk out on some1 i love but i think the idea itself is not 2 bad. Arranged Marriages are the one who survive this days. I would welcome the idea bcz ur parents would choose the best man for u! Araksan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Curly Posted September 22, 2004 I would never let my parents range anything for me…much less my marriage, damn! You people must be having a laugh; people actually ditch the love of their life because their parents said so? Anyway…I’m too much of a ‘rebel without a cause’ to follow orders even if I liked that bloke and my parents so much as suggested it, I’d refuse! I guess I still haven't quiet grown up..lol! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mombasa_QUEEN Posted September 22, 2004 walk away dont come in my vocab, but the arrange marrage is common in soali tradition which they think it's the best thing but to my own opinion i would never support arrange marrage. how can i leave a person i share my life with and go on and get married to a dude who i have never seen talk to and dont even know what type of person he might turn to be that is wrong really wrong, you need to have a time know each other habit and stuff then tie the knot so i think its a wrong thing. macsalama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted September 22, 2004 Arranged marriage to happen of course you have to agree to it, never, never will I agree to it. No matter what the circumstances might be. I have seen it happen and not work, and parents still being blamed for the consequences. Dont want to go through that. As walking out on someone I care about, that won't happen, since my parents gave up telling me to get married. Sue- you would never want to grow out of ‘rebel without a cause’ stage. I miss that stage of my life so much since no one bothers telling me what to do now. It works really well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bess. Posted September 22, 2004 im sorry...is that still happening? :mad: , i hope not cause that is so horrible...realisticly, how well do u parents really know u....i mean they know me....but not well enough to choose my mate for me....nobody can do that except u...how can u let someone tell u who to spend the rest of ur life with....never....i love my parents and value their opinion....but i hope that they respect me and realize that i can make the right decision for myself....ofcourse i would want them to be pleased with my choice and approve....but that is extent of thier involvement... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 22, 2004 you've all said no to arranged marriages but let me ask you this: hasn't your family set certain standards for the guy you'll someday marry? for example you're expected to marry a guy from a certain tribe,comes from a certain culture, is in the same class (wealth) as u or higher etc... is that not like an arranged marriage too? i mean u basically have everythin lined out all you're doin is findin the guy who fits that! so all these parents have done is made it easier for the girl, they found her the guy...no harm done... ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted September 22, 2004 I'm fine with the 'arranged' part, its the marriage thats a little unnerving. I'm open to suggestions from my parents and I'll always take their view into consideration, however, I decide on 'the ONE'. .. I think all this love crap is over-rated anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bess. Posted September 22, 2004 lol @ barambaro sis...u always fine the loop hole...but no...i don't thing that they set such hard standards to follow...i mean they would be happy if he was somali, educated and from a good family...about the tribe im sure my parents would prefer if he was at least from the same clan...but that is up to me...and tribe or clan don't factor into it for me...about the money...its not about his family money....but rather about him and how he should be capable of supporting his family...inshallah... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 22, 2004 ^^its called indirect arranged marriage (a term i coined its not official yet though) meanin ur family drops clues here and there makin you think you're behind all the decision making, when all along it was your family who put the whole thing together....hmm clever parents... i say yall just make it easier for urselves and let them bring the guy,what do u have to lose? i mean u can still say no... ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Benevolent_ Beauty Posted September 22, 2004 LOL@baranbaro....honestly tho...some ppl need that lil help from family (excludin' ma self ofcourse..y cuz imma catch ..lol) u get to that age where the package ..ur package is falling apart..certain equipement parts are agreein' wit laws of gravity..lol...if ya know wat i mean...n' like da person above said...hey..u can always say no..in some circumstances..i guess... as for me dude..when the hunt is on...(takin time out 4 school n' stuff)...i'll hunt alone.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 22, 2004 ^^need help? free of charge and i promise not to "arrange" anythin...**fingers crossed**... **going through a mental list of all the female relatives...asha, asma,aasia,batoola....** ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted September 22, 2004 If u have a cousin, who is educated, good, hardworking man.. for sure ur parents would atleast suggest the man to u.. it happens don't worry... Most of the somali girls, are close to their mothers, and if the mother likes u, most likely that girl is urs because it is habaaro or duco.. u all know that... anyways i think, parents shouldn't be getting involved in this. they could suggest some one to u, but u should know that person well, then decide... but is always blessing when u make ur parents happy, coz atleast your kids would have grandparents.. there for them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
