Man asking for real advice

[Nigganometry]

I'm asking all ya guys & galz for some relatiponship advice

 

I've been seen a real fine looking somali girl for about 6-7 months

and we've done alot together ya know,But now she says she's wants to take the

relationship to a "new level"

She thinks we should start getting phisical (more then just Hugs & Kisses)

I don't think she's ready, she just turned 17 a mounth ago

She's kinda getting pressured by some slutty girls in the Dixion area

I really don't think she's ready, or even if it's possible! Should I do it cause I love her ? Somebody please give me some advice A.S.A.P

:confused: :eek:

[Miriam1]

Salam

 

The answer is u should not do it because u LOVE HER.Think about it logically for a minute, if you guys go to the "next level" in other means but the halah means set out in the Quran ie marriage, ur taking away from her more than u could possiblely know.Respect her and understand the consequences of this even if she yet doesnt get a grasp of it. I am sure that u love her for bieng a woman of high statue and of great self respect.Try to stop this negative impact that is affecting her.

She is probably feeling that if you two dont move into the next step ..the relationship will be over in a while..i dont know its just a hunch, if you think tis so ..try to calm her doubts and tell her that you will love her no matter what happens and wait for until you two are ready to be married.

 

Peace and i honestly hope to have helped..there is lot of crazy pressure in that age trust me iam just a year older than her and i know. The most important thing u need at that point of your life is some one who can make u feel strong and confident and wat she needs now ... even though it might not show... is for you to be that person.

 

Later and good luck

[Lady_Hustla]

Salaama

 

My thats terrible puts you in an awful predictament.....Well i certainly do think you should not go ahead and get physical.....she's obviously not thinking RIGHT.....if she still can't bare the pressure.....by trying to plz her girls....and to be honest she still is only a CHILD....i want you to sit down with her and tell her that it isn't a good idea WHY becuz......pre-marital sex is a sin a GREAT sin.....and secondly the consquences are harsh which may follow......one night of bang bang will forever remain and haunt both of you....well at least you...since your thinking.....i get the feeling thats she VERY special.....and means a lot to you or else you wouldn't be here contempleting whether or not to have sex......if you did not care for her you would have taken up the chance as it was presented.....cuz it would have been no strings attached kinda bang bang.....anywho try to change her mind and help her see the risks still remain great and you don't think it's a good idea....now if she acts all STANK and then says oh well i'll go find another guy to hit me up real quick....then GOODRIDDENCE.....she wasn't the one for you....don't waste your love on her......it looks as if your both on different planes mentally.....and then brothaman you don't need that at all.

 

GODBLESS

[Thinkerman]

Ok Let me be Harsh for a sec Bro.

 

WHO'S WEARING THE TROUSER IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?

AND ARE YOU SERIOUS WHEN YOU SAY " I really don't think she's ready, or even if it's possible! Should I do it cause I love her "????

 

However as you are given it thoughts and indeed are having doubts, then surley you know what to do. Of course it is dificult when you put you self in the face of such temptation, but saxib you dont wanna be committing such a bigg sin.

 

So my advice is tell her no, but you wil have to gentle in teh way you explain yourself.

[seduction_queen]

Nigganometry,

 

This is the first time I heard a brother ask advice about if he should or shouldnt have sex. I always find that guys pressure the girl into sex. Get this some guy once said "its not a really bad sin, whats worse is back bitting" LOL I usually hear girls complain "should I do it because I love him?". Wow who would've thought... :rolleyes: . Back to your question: Abbowa my advice to you is obvious...DON'T DO IT. If you love her you want whats best for her...which is...NOT to commit a sin. I hope i helped you out.

 

.:peace n luv:.

[The Observer.]

hello, interesting topic that has been touched by alot of peeps, everyone until now is tellling you not to do it, due to the issue of sining, well also could you look at the other side, and ask yourself who you are and ask where our youthism and respectism is? as a somali culture, since when do sisters advice go ahead and have sex with a guy, due to love? have we forgotten the meaning of being a woman? the respect and pride of who we are? the pride of our people and culture? these are habits of a created culture, the culture that hasn't nor wasn't been born, a whitemans culture, which has no respect dignity and most of all self respect. so brother the freewill is yours and hers, both of you have the something called mind where you could use it for knowledge or for what you are told by your peers. and i believe as the old peeps say learn from what you see around you and don't do the same mistakes or don't do what you don't want to be done to you. and i believe you will have a wise discussion with this young perticular girl, and she will have an attitude,or not, but either way you need two to tango, and so if you stick by your word, she won't fret one bit, and you will get a control of teaching someone how to think and free them from the closed eyed society of ours.(sorry if i sound preachy to all, its just the world)

[Kool_Kat]

17yrs and she wants to have sex!!! LORD have a mercy... What's this world coming to?

 

Walaahi, waa cajiib... We all know it is Haram/Sin to have sex before marriage... So Having sex before marriage should be out of the question... But in the world we live in today, that ain't always the case... I think if you love her and she loves you, you'll do what you think is right for the both of you... And only you can figure that out... You should talk to her and let her know that just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean she has to do it too... Talk to her about the consequences it could have...

 

On last note, only you know what's right for you!!!

[shyhem]

ME AIN'T NO GANGSTA,WANGSTA BUT ME THINK THIS STORY AIN'T REAL.

 

Surely pre marital sex ain't a good thing to do,but i'm wonderin are sure U don't need Viagra coz its hard to come across a man like U reasons like u.i say hats off to u.

[GarYaQaaN]

aaahhhhhhhhhhh i second shyhem

[Nigganometry]

My Respect & thanks goes out to all those who participated

 

I think you guyz clearified a lot of things,

 

I guess Love can't be an excuse for such a big sin

 

May Allah keep us away from the hell fire

 

Thanks alot

[Siman]

Apparently, U have extremely well manners, and are self controllable individual, U probably also understood that not only it is sin to commit Sina but it would be highly unlikely for U two to have future marriage if U get physical prior to the marriage. It is very rare to see people who commit Sina, have meaningful marriage relation afterwards. It seems that is cinqaab Alle xagee uga timaada intaanba aakhiro lagarin dadkaas. Being 17, she maybe confused and don’t know what she wants, U have an opportunity to make difference in her life, U should tell her U love her so much that U want to have future with her and if U commit Sina U could lost all that love and respect for. If she disagrees now, she may perhaps realize it later how right and considerate U were.

[Iffah]

Originally posted by Nigganometry:

She's kinda getting pressured by some slutty girls in the Dixion area

That was totally unnecessary! :rolleyes:

[Qac Qaac]

ilhaam r u from dixon loool

 

bro i really respect u for what u doing, and if u did it for allah's sake u will find big time reward cause u got tested, with one of the biggest weapon of the satan, zina, and if u didn't do anything u passed, thank god. for make u that person who passed, cause the hadith says one who gets offered to have sex with a women specially he likes or loves, and leave her alone he will be shaded in the day of judgement the day there will be no shade, so congradulations.

if she really wants to get physical, tell her bring ur parents and will get married, then she could be all physical if she wants ok. 17 is a kid in this world, but in muslim world she is grown women, or maybe man put her in the islamic lecture so she get educated ok. tell her life will change after those few minutes, and she'll have to live with forever. ok. sorry if i preached u, but man somebody has to tell the trueth. peace out.

[Iffah]

QaQa..Does it matter? I just don't appreciate him calling my fellow sisters such a name.

[JIDAAWY]

Nigganometry, may allah most high reward you for seeking clarification regarding such topic which is obviously very important to you. Also let me praise your Islamic conscious that prevented you from committing that sin thus far.

My beloved Nomad accept a brotherly advice from me, don’t do it, don’t have sex with that young girl, instead I suggest you become some sort of a mentor for her and try free her mind that is held captive by her illicit and morally corrupted girl friends, Brother if you commit Zina alaah will punish you in your life time and in the here and after, punishments can take many forms, you may get ill with a serious disease, get into an accident, fail academically, or may see what you did being done to your sister, daughter or even mom. Think about all these things before you have sex with that beer pressured young girl. Obviously you are old enough to realize the severity of such actions so brother don’t destroy her life, don’t put her on the path of self destruction, just guide her to the right trail and try to have a positive impact on her, trust me she will pray for you when she gets older..

 

Peace