The Effect of Sexual Deprivation on Women

[SomeAlien]

not everybody who is muslim behaves in an islamic manner.

[rudy-Diiriye]

w/o dagan u is pretty much lost! i believe i have lived in this country (usa) longer than 95% of the ppl in this forum and never left so far...hmm about 25yrs. mostly lived in a boarding schools all the thru college while my family lived in gulf.

 

during summer times, if i didnt go to the gulf, i uses to stay with family friends who were going to universities mainly doing phd or masters! in the country of the biggest problems that black encounter is dagan la ee (no roots). this is bad omen 4 society, which leads to make alot of ppl substance abusers etc., this is happening to the new generations of nomads living abroad. i sometimes just shake my head with disqust when i see grown nomads (both sex), i mean over 20s behaving like a street tug!!! my father use to tell me when africans go to american, they become more american than the americans, which is walaahi true. i believe that one advice kept my feet on the ground!!!!!!!!!

[Xafsa]

Here is a question for the guys....why are you so threatened by the whole concept of a women trying to better herself in everyway? The thing is the whole feminist agenda has been twisted and turned to make it seem like its about men. It isn't....its about equal rights, and respect....and both these things can be reached by women and having them ralize their own potential and binding all women kind together. And not but bashing men....and thinking that we don't need them....those are the lost souls.

 

 

I agree with somalien...not everyone who is "muslim" acts accordingly. We all know the Islam has given us rights....but these rights don't realy mean anything unless they are practiced. Ya feel me?

 

 

anyhow i'm getting a brain cramp...I gotta go.

 

1luv

[LuCkY]

^^^^^Agreed.

 

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY RUDY:

w/o dagan u is pretty much lost!

I beg to differ rudy. That is not true. The onLy person that is truLy Lost is the one that has Lost a firm grip on IsLam and what its aLL about.

 

"dagan" does this word mean dhaqan/cuLture? :confused: IF so then...resume as i was.

 

If not i apoLogize in advance for jumping to concLusions.

[zak99]

Lucky!

i welcome your idea whole heartly, to me though dagan means, culture, religion and tradition. i do apologize if i didnt make myself clear enough.

[rudy-Diiriye]

sorry there, it seems my friend was logged on and I forget to change the login!!! this comment is from rudy!!!!!!!!peace. use see what happens when u let others use your system!!!!!!!!!

[underdog]

Flying,

I'm going to need a little clarification,

 

its about equal rights, and respect

Which rights do men have that women don't?

What are women doing to earn respect?

and how are they respecting men?

 

these things can be reached by women and having them ralize their own potential and binding all women kind together

Potential to do what? become self-sufficient?

 

"bind all women together" does that mean that women would separate from men and form their own group? it almost sound like an " us vs. them" situations.

 

What did Caesar (or was it SUN TZU) say about "divide and conquer"?

 

if you get bored here's a little reading material for you.

http://www.islamicvoice.com/july.97/women.htm

[Xafsa]

When I say bind women together I don't mean against men. Its a well known fact that women hat on other women....if we can just get beyound that and see that we are all the same then I think we can reach our goals of being seen as productive memebers of any society.

 

The whole divide and conquer perspective is a tactic most often used by men....not all men thought....just those lost souls looking to make themselves feel better.

 

 

Her is one question for you underdog and all the other males......when it comes to picking a potential partner do you go for the educated, succeful woman that if need be can take care of her self and her family. Or the traditional woman who is looking for a man to take care of her in everyway....and is not capable of doing things for herself outside of the home?

[Conscious Manipulation]

asalaamu alaykum,

 

While, there are elements of feminism and Islam that are similar there are also elements that are different bc they are inherently two different ideologies. The feminist ideology opposes the definition of any social role according to gender. For example, when it comes to the family structure feminism opposes the idea that there's an inherent biological distinction that assigns the role of a mother and caregiver to the wife and that of a provider to the husband. This is contradictory to Islam which clearly defines the role of the wife to be the mother/caregiver and the husband to be the head of the family unit and the provider (see surah Al-Nisa).

 

Today feminism is laced with pretty words like "gender equality" and "women's rights" but taking a deeper look reveals the core concept which, like all other man-made ideologies, fails to offer real practical solutions to man's problems. Islam on the other, being the comprehensive system it is, solves all of our problems by giving us coherent guidelines. If we wish to eliminate gender inequality (and being a woman myself this is something I wish to work towards) then we only need to go back to Islam, without adopting the feminist ideology (or any other foreign ideology for that matter) and propagate the correct understanding of our deen bc this is where the solution ultimately lies.

 

Finally, I hope this doesn't turn into a typical men v.s women back and forth nonsense but a meaningful discussion that will inshaAllah help us all understand eachother better.

 

salaam

[Xafsa]

Originally posted by underdog:

I interpreted it to be that in the correct sense love is acheived when the woman accepts the man and nurtures his growth as she nurtures the growth of her children. The author makes a connection that men show love by providing and protecting and women by nurturing. Sex, in that context, becomes an expression of their love.

 

He goes on to imply that now sex is just a practice for pleasure - which is true considering the size of the adult industry and mainstream contraceptives - but the main point ( as understood it) is that the union is broken the women can get their sex with out the love or committment.

The example of the movie comes in where you have an aging successful woman with a great career with no family and no children...she has so much and yet has nothing.

Do the last 2 paragraphs really apply in the somali community? Or does the first paragraph for that matter. Do somali's see sex as an expression of love or just a means to an end....the end being children? I have always wanted to know.

[underdog]

Flying,

 

on your first question, I would pick the woman that puts her family first. Here's a question for you; how many Professional ( I mean real careers not just a job) women do you know wo have a husband and kids and con juggle them both? ( real life examples please)

 

As for the second comment if the paragraphs aplly to the somali community: You live in Minnesota look around you and you can answer that question for me.

[Xafsa]

How do you know which of the two puts her family first?

REal life examples: I know a few somali women who do juggle a husband, a career and kids. Granted most of the somali women I know are domestic engineers.

There's a friend of my moms who is a doctor and her husband is also a doctor. she kids and manages to take care of both the kids and the husband. But this all depends on how understanding and helpful your husband is. If your husband is not willing to help out by doing little things....then you wont be able to have both a career and a family.

For example: my aunt is a doctor but she doesn't practive because her husband makes it very difficult for her. That kind of makes you wonder why she went thru 20 some odd years of school just to end up letting all her knowledge go to waste.

 

My last question was asked so I can get your opinion. To me the majority of somali's don't see sex as deed meant for pleasure only. But i'm sort of divided on whether or not they see it as the ultimate expression of love....it depends on what age group or generation we're talking about.

[underdog]

I'm not sure about majority, but a significant number of people see sex as a purely pleasure activity. This isn't something that started when we were all rudely evicted from our country. NO no no this has always been around, pre-marital sex, cheating husbands and wives, bosses "doing" their employees....none of this is new. People see things and desire creeps into their hearts and they want it ( there's a very good sermon on "lowering you gaze" that I have to track down for you).

 

As for the ultimate expression of love, I'm a little hazy on the whole love issue, before I can answer that, can you explain to me what love is? and how do you know for sure if someone truely loves you. (this is not a joke, we may have some differing views)

[Blessed]

Interesting Article. I was lost with bit about the movie. However, do you guys notice that the ladies feature had bad expriences with men? I can understand why they hate so much and appreaciate that it is an obnormal state that require fixing (through therapy).

 

I don't know to what extent this article can be generalised to Somalis - I think the author taget audience was more kaafir-America. From my expriences of professional Somali women, I'd say that it is invalid in a nut-shell. As muslims we have completly different psych to Ally McBeal and co.

 

Anyways, I thought the conclusion was pretty well summed up.

 

Heterosexual society has been under sustained psychological attack designed to arrest human development and decrease population. Feminism is the weapon of choice. It encourages women to deny their femininity and act like men.

Totaly true.

 

In "The Business of Strangers" both women have become hunters. As a result, they hate men but worse they hate themselves. Victims of a diabolical plot, they have mutated.

Thats is the affect of feminism on women. This movement doesn't serve us in any way but to take us from Allahs' prescribed system.

 

They need a man's love in order to be themselves again.

I agree with that again. Men and Women have a psychological, emotional and physical need for each other. This is what Allah revealed :

 

And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)

^^^^^^ That is just beautiful^^^^^

 

I must stop :eek: :eek:

[underdog]

Ameenah,

I'll need a physical address to send you a large box of Belgian Chocolates and huge bouquet of blue roses.