Jaabir Posted January 10, 2004 You are Visitor No: to my topic [/b] i was wondering what is the importance of looks in the beginning of a relationship, how much weight does it have in determining if the person will have an opportunity to get a chance to show us thier other sides, and how many people we miss out because at first glance we overlooked them because they were Fat, Dark, skinny, short….etc. if all participants in any given relationship know that they need to impress the other side aren't we dealing with a show, and if the purpose of meeting new people is to find a good wife/husband isn't this intention missed? when is it o.k to let your guards down and stop performing, if its ever o.k? and if we are performing isn't it deceiving to the other person? does it change with age/experience/desperation? and if it does , does it mean we are settling down for second best? I m not trying to be naive or coy but i always thought that although looks are important to some extent they shouldnt be the dominant thing that makes a person attractive, and as you get to know a person the importance in determining the attractiveness diminishes. I personally believe that attractiveness is composed of many things like wit, intelligence, passionate soul, kindness, honesty and more. On many occasions I have met girls who are physically not attractive but posses the brightest mentalities, coolest attitude and the highest manners… and on the other hand, I have also met cute and sexy looking girls who have no brains whatsoever, bad a$$ attitude, short temper, and a high sense of arrogance to top em all.. This could work with the fella’s too, but either way.. I’d like to know this… Would you let someone who is fat, dark, short and ugly looking into your life and give him/her a fair chance to show you whats in their hearts?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lol Posted January 10, 2004 Darmaan you are right bro when you say if all participants in any given relationship know that they need to impress the other side aren't we dealing with a show, I agree with you 110%.. but Somalis say " Qofkii aragtidiisa ku daaqdaa ayaa uuntiisa ku deeqdaa"... Basically it is not fair but what attracts you to someone is their externals not internals. I am not one of the girls that look for mr-all-dat.. I believe when a guy is too cute he gets too pretty for me... in the processing loosing all his manliness in my eyes.. but qof kasta waxa uu raadiyaa someone u jidka la mari karo.. He/she doesn't have to be ms/mr world but atleast be attractive in the other's eyes... it is sad.. but it is the reality.. and we can't ignore it. So in short.. Looks do matter! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted January 11, 2004 Darman sxb looks do matter I know that much…at least from distance. Up and close, what you find below the surface of that pretty face and physique is another matter, however. Deep down some of us know that looks, as pleasing to our eyes as it might be, is not what hold the relationships together. Couples don’t grow old together because they look pretty. When the novelty is worn off and the thrill is gone, something more solid than the looks - the inner beauty, the mutual understanding, the mutual commitment, the mutual conviction in the faith, the love, etc - is what keeps the ship going. Why do the looks matter? The physique, that symmetry of the body, is pleasing to our eyes and that alone attracts us and arouses our interest. This urge, I think, is inborn to us. What constitutes a good look is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder. To answer your question, I would say being humble maximizes your chances of meeting people of different background and looks. You can still be selective yet you have the pool of prospects to choose from – by the virtue of being approachable and likable person. As to the fact that prospect reveal their positive side and present themselves as angels, well that is okay. As a good interviewer you should get acclimated with intricacies of the interview in this case the “Shukaansi” and use your moral compass and instinct as your guiding light. Fake is fake nothing more to it. Also the old axiom: one can make more friends in no time by becoming genuinely interested in other people then one can in years by trying get other people interested in him applies here as you are open to almost all regardless their looks. Arrogance does not help in this endeavor. Liked ur signature my friend – very true…and to the prayer I say Amin! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted January 11, 2004 Salaaan... Originally posted by Baashi: Deep down some of us know that looks, as pleasing to our eyes as it might be, is not what hold the relationships together. Couples don’t grow old together because they look pretty. When the novelty is worn off and the thrill is gone, something more solid than the looks - the inner beauty, the mutual understanding, the mutual commitment, the mutual conviction in the faith, the love, etc - is what keeps the ship going. Kaaba, soori, but you have to step aside. What do Talyaanis say? Tooka bar tooka, yeah. Markaa alaabteena soo dhameysanay maa rabtaa in aa jiil jiiliyaasha jidka ka xirtid oo lecture u biloowdid, waraa xariifiinta hakaa qaraabtaan dhaaf nooh oo gabdhaha haku dirin. Waraada ciyaalkiina, duqaan Baashi warkiisa iska dhaafa ee marka looks do matter, laakiin maalintaa idinkina "ganbaleelkiina" soo yeero, booskiina waa idiin sii diyaarsanyahay markaaska idinka calaacal ha bilaabina. Hadaba intaa fursad heysatiin shukula. _______________ Macsalaama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaabir Posted January 11, 2004 Originally posted by Hibo: Darmaan you are right bro when you say quote:if all participants in any given relationship know that they need to impress the other side aren't we dealing with a show, I agree with you 110%.. but Somalis say " Qofkii aragtidiisa ku daaqdaa ayaa uuntiisa ku deeqdaa"... Basically it is not fair but what attracts you to someone is their externals not internals. I am not one of the girls that look for mr-all-dat.. I believe when a guy is too cute he gets too pretty for me... in the processing loosing all his manliness in my eyes.. but qof kasta waxa uu raadiyaa someone u jidka la mari karo.. He/she doesn't have to be ms/mr world but atleast be attractive in the other's eyes... it is sad.. but it is the reality.. and we can't ignore it. So in short.. Looks do matter! Hibo, I somewhat agree with you too walaashiis, attractive looking people are always hard to resist and that’s probably why most people seek out a presentable partner... but should that be more important that seeking a characteristically pleasant partner?? As baashi said sooner or later the beauty will wear off what will remain the is person's attitude.... I still believe that anyone could fall in love with the ugliest of the ugly if they put their physical appearance aside and judge them for their deen, personality and the true emotions they reciprocate with them.. brother baashi.. u can get a signature just like mine by visiting this page.. Signature its some kind of Hassanah Jaryah where u get credited with ajir for spreading virtue…. Brother Aqyaar,, you guys are tiipa talyaani huh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Section6er Posted January 11, 2004 i am sorry but i have to be attracted to that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haaruun Posted January 11, 2004 Looks like that Darmaan got anugly woman for himself...It's Ok bro, but ofcoarse, she has 2b a smart one..LOL..(jokn') Looks is the 1st thing that catchs ur INDHO and makes u think to get to know that person Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
x_quizit Posted January 12, 2004 Looks do matter, but only because in order for u to give the person a chance to get to know them or even speak to them, looks have to attract you to them, and fortunately, the world is populated with ppl with many diverse ideas about what looks good to them, or what may not look good to them. So there is someone out there for everyone, whether they are stunning or average, but as ppl have already pointed out, after the initial interest in their looks, their personality, intellect, sense of humour, have to also be up to par, otherwise, looks alone won't make for a lasting relationship. Personally, i have met cute guys who lacked in personality, and others that have a good combo for both, and some average joes that can make me laugh more than any cute face, but in the end, its all about a balance of both. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaabir Posted January 12, 2004 Originally posted by Haaruun: Looks like that Darmaan got anugly woman for himself...It's Ok bro, but ofcoarse, she has 2b a smart one..LOL..(jokn') Looks is the 1st thing that catchs ur INDHO and makes u think to get to know that person Lol Maya saxiib, as a matter of fact all the girls I have been meeting lately are cute but dump as hell !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7_steps_2_Heaven Posted January 12, 2004 maskiin macruuf naga celi baashi plz. jii jiilayaasha iyagabo waqtu=igooda ee u baahan yihiin sidaad u tiriba. baashi naga gambiso sxb maskiin macruuf tiipa talyaani maa tahay. qatar. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted January 12, 2004 Exquisite et all, It seems plethora of people are agreeing with each other on the matter that in order for you to speak to the person you have to be attracted to --- surely this is rather ubsurd. Are we suggeting those who are not estheticly pleasing to look at should not be spoken to? Come on, in my daily monotonous life I meet people some whom are drop dead gorgous others just plain looking; both of these groups I speak to them in same fashion. The problem with the Somali community in the west is that everyone they meet (according to the above statement that is) is a potential courtie. The whole social entraction is reduced to this slim thing-- there is not platonic companionship. Now let me come back to the point. When it comes to courting I think some sort of physical atraction has to be there-- but as I have indicated already one may perhaps casually befriends someone initially having no reason for him/her to "go out" but with the wit and the charm of the other person becomes enchanted and woed alus making the whole distiction thing redundant. Thus Spake I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted January 12, 2004 I think looks and physical attraction are two relatively different things. You may find somebody fantastically beautiful without feeling any attraction towards them or vice versa. Furthermore, what may be termed as 'good-looking' by me, will probably be termed as 'average or ugly' by the next girl. In that context, I would say in a potential partner, looks aren't very important but physical attraction (and a mental connection) are. Somewhat confusing but there you have it Darman. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted January 12, 2004 MMA, Capo di capi seniore Mashalaaye-Maxruug Awoowe qudkan shaabaal uu ku rijaa. Been-guur aa widaay meesha ku heysaa ee waxaa shukuleysid ma leh ee ikhyaarta ha ka waalin. Darman, Thanks for the info. CK, Ballan waaye inaan kaa ganbisado so shukul can proceed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkerman Posted January 12, 2004 salams Darman. I must admit i was worried for a time that i would forever remain extremly sallow, and that i would only look at at how attrative a girl is. But as time has passed and syncersim, or should i say reality has crept in, the physical aspect has fallen down the pecking order, albeit subconsiously. Providing there is some level of mutual attraction, then its all good. PERSONALLY SPEAKING, i find this opens your eyes to more possibilities than before. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted January 12, 2004 Baashi ciyaal jardiino waaxid! Rawyaa xawaan kuu geeshaa, da'iga shaabaalka maskuu ramaayaa? Last time I have attempted speaking af jinni was ages ago man! glad to see some keep it up. Thus Spake I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
