Undesirable: Educated women.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by cynical lady:

Is having a man a mandatory requirement to legitimize a woman’s existence?

Absolutely not! And that's why I said 'just like education isn't everything in life, finding a man isn't either...'

 

It is sad to see though, some single women always complain about not having/finding a man...If he doesn't come, then he doesn't come; or if he comes and goes, it is not the end of the world...

[underdog]

Brrrrr.

Its getting COLD in here.

 

 

,

[sheherazade]

^well, you could always close the door. Behind you.

 

Historically women in the Somali community have been less educated so it's not like the men had much of a choice really. Were they choosing to go that way or were statistics against them?

 

Now the shoe's on the other foot but the women want the men to catch up- education brings advantages in societys that are set up that way- if the woman becomes the main breadwinner(by virtue of her education) and the baby-carrier you will have an inbalance. Instinct says NEXT!

 

P.S: it's not educated women some men can't handle, it's smart women.

[Ameen]

Oh mann, I cant believe I miss this whole debate. Where was I and what was I doing when this was going down?

 

I guess I got to wait for the second round of exchanges to throw my two cents into the pot.

[Haneefah]

Originally posted by Ibtisam:

Haneefah

How is it going?? ARe you hiding from work??

Who wouldn't hide from writing stoopidh policy briefings on a ruthless conservative party's cuts on health care spending. Just great .

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

Fewer-somali-women are educated

[Ibtisam]

^^Not true. Facts speak louder than opinion.

 

Ameen Please comment, I'm interested to hear what you have to say.

 

Haneefah lol indeed who would not. Suddenly I'm so short of time! Time is a resources we do not value when we have, and miss when we don't have it. We need a post on the essence of time.

[Khayr]

Originally posted by shaken and deterred:

quote:

 

Are guys spoilt for choice? Having the luxury to choose,whilst girls wait until approached by the desirable kind,then and only then to make the choice..Whilst men,can mix and match until their heart desire..[just thinking out loud]..

i dont think so, but we have the mentality that we are supposed to wait to be picked... khadija, the mother of the believers, went out and chose her man (pbuh). the power to control our destinies (which Allah swt ultimately controls) is in our hands, but we concede it to the other side. there are a VAST number of good brothers, looking for marriage and some are comfortable with being the one taking the first step, but its a step that makes someone vulnerable, no matter the gender and social roles we play. i wish i could follow my own advice though. im the first to pull this card of "be in control" and "take ownership", but im a real chicken. im trying to overcome it though. [/QB]

According to the ahadith, there are 4 perfected women: Mariam, Asiya, Fatima Az-Zahra and Khadijah.

 

Khadijah was given such a high honor precesily because she made it in the dunya/world and was rich and affluent. It is the very fact that (even though she was older then the Prophet (sallahu caliyhe wasilm) and wealthier, she gave him deferrence, the respect and recognition that he was the imam of the household. That he was the leader of the household and that she trusted his decision making.

 

She had all the things of the world going for her but it is her recognition of her role in the family coupled with her success in the world that sets her apart from others - Allahu Akbar. This recognition was in here prior to revelation/quran was sent down.

 

So to compare and have the expectation that a muslimah can achieve the same recognition in her spouse after attaining a univeresity degree and elusive career placement, is unrealistic. It is this delusion that has so many muslimahs frustrated with the concept of marriage and how to seek out a marital spouse.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Truth: Most men with seemingly supersized egos are fragile and insecure. They tend to say harsh words and judge women too quickly. The fragile ones want a girl who is from good family, manners, looks, education, and the works. They want a girl who makes them feel important and valuable. As long as you massage their egos and act less independent they’ll love you. My guy friends tell me that they don’t like “dealing with” educated girls because they tend to be “hard headed” meaning they’re strong and confident and don’t take B.S. But underneath all that ego and assumed superiority, they are scared little boys. One of my good friends went on a date with this girl last weekend. She has a bachelor’s degree and he has none. He must’ve called me twenty times asking me ‘do you think she is my type? What should I talk about? You think she is gonna like me?’ I never seen him feel that inadequate. Now, he won’t tell his friends or the girl how he feels. If she rejects him he’ll brush it off and make some dumb statement like “oh she was arrogant; she thought she was all that, or she wasn’t my type :rolleyes: ” but I know otherwise.

Then there are the ignorant, sexists, outrageously loud, opinionated about women and their place in life type. Those men tend to want slaves. They don’t want a partner in life, they want a doormat :mad: :mad: .

There is a difference between illiteracy and formal education. illiteracy means he's never been to school: he can't read or write. uneducated means he is lacking a formal education; he has no diplomas ordegrees. To answer the question, yes I would marry uneducated guy if he is God fearing, polite, smart, funny, hardworking, and willing to learn. You never know what he’s been through and his circumstances. Education doesn’t guarantee happiness or financial stability or good marriage for that matter.

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

^^^sure it is..lol

 

Ibti, what?

[Resistance]

Originally posted by chocolate & honey:

Truth: Most men with seemingly supersized egos are fragile and insecure. They tend to say harsh words and judge women too quickly. The fragile ones want a girl who is from good family, manners, looks, education, and the works. They want a girl who makes them feel important and valuable. As

^ Malan & Nac nac and whats wrong with wanting that, i guess tats one everyone u should seek.

U sound like a bit wounded, don't let a personal experiance cloud ur general outlook.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Malan & Nac nac and whats wrong with wanting that, i guess tats one everyone u should seek.

U sound like a bit wounded, don't let a personal experiance cloud ur general outlook.

whats with the personal attack? chill out, homey. If you read the whole post you would've noticed the contradiction. The message is YOU CANT HAVE IT ALL. Either you get the good looking, less opinionated, insecure, yes man girl. Or you get the strong, educated, pretty, independant, " come harder and better" than that girl. Smart women dont waste time massaging men's ego. They have a life to live. Insecure men belong with insecure women, catch ma drift :rolleyes: :rolleyes: .

[Resistance]

i can see ur drift, but u are over simplyfying the the whole thing, is not a case of beauty bimbo v Educated plain Jane. Each person is different and whom a guy settles with is his provocotive and vice versa.

[Som@li]

I don't think there is no correlation between being educated or not when it comes to choice, it is all about attraction, chemistry, But The question should be addresss to the girls? do you notice a drop in the number of hits you get after graduation? lol and if the answer is yes, are u sure that your attitude hasn't changed?

 

I have yet to see a man saying that this lady is not my league

And once you meet a girl,you don't ask if she has a degree or not. .

[Chocolate and Honey]

is not a case of beauty bimbo v Educated plain Jane.

What u smoking? :confused: This debate aint about Bimbo vs. Plain jane. Nowhere in my post did I make a reference to that. Had you read it, you would've picked up on it :rolleyes: Yes, there is a yes girl, just like there is a yes man. It is a belief about one's self, deep deep down. Now, did I touch a nerve?