The Don’t-Get-Fat Clause

[Chocolate and Honey]

Lol@ The Siren eat choco. I will patiently wait with my xalwo and shaah untill the wrath of The Siren rains on you .

 

wobbles. Malika cadeey are you off in the summer?

[Geel_jire]

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

 

personally I prefer a suxul-baruur

[Malika]

^Hello GJ

 

C&H,I am,for a whole six weeks. I am stuck on what to do with myself,as am not traveling this year..Oh well,perhaps hit the gym,take control of the wobbly bits huh? Astagfirullah!

[Ibtisam]

I like “the don't get fat clause for both male and female”, sounds normal enough to me. It just means that I must find you attractive still after we are married, otherwise it is grounds for divorce or second wife. Attraction plays a big part in any relationship, otherwise maaxa laa daawaanya, if there is nothing on TV, I'm watch out the window, and sure enough in a day I will see 10 taller than you, 10 skinner than you, 10 more pretty than you, 10 better toned and featured than you, so naturally I want something which is appealing to me (what ever the taste of the individual)

 

Once you get over the "HOW dare he tell her what to do phase" It makes sense and should be common sense enough for neither party not to be told. It is kind of obvious if you don't find your partner attractive enough then you are going to start having problems, and yes as you get older you will start experiencing some body changes and your physical appearance will become less appealing natural, but there is not need to get as big as a house, it is unhealthy and severe strain on your body if nothing else. I’ve seen 26yr old sisters who’ve only been married for 2/3 yrs who are two/three times the size they were when they got married, likewise I’ve seen brothers with beer bellies at the age of 28, I mean come on, being in a stable relationship does not mean let yourself go completely. Reasonable changes are fine.

 

P.s. Some girls are naturally big, and certain guys like that and marry them like that and are happy for them to grow bigger, and those are a different case, if he married her like that, then he can’t entre no clause. But if he married size 8, and she’s bloated to a size 16 in the space of two years, he needs to lend a serious helping hand to get her back on track. There is no reason to get mad about it.

 

I have seen a number of new yummy mums in the Somali community of late, who have two kids and still look stunning, mashallah.

 

I think people find it easy to take the pi*ss out of skinny people, pointing at them and even insulting them for being skinny, but somehow fat people are never bullied or poked and squeezed. In fact people think it is sooooooo offensive to tell someone to lose weight, but have no problem saying to someone "Akhas oo caataad taahey, waa innaad waaxa cuuntied, wa maaxey qooryuh!". Only today I went out with a friend and we saw an old lady and she proceeded to bisinka tearing the sister apart for being skinny!! :eek:

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

I am not too sure about these westernised somali men but I am a traditional fat-feeder. I am not satisfied with a merely big woman, but encourage and even coerce them to gain weight to the point where they become immobile and risk their lives.

 

If a woman wants to eat. Let her eat!

[Cabdow]

I think a lil baruur here and there is fine, but for her to gain considerable amount of weight while married is a no no! As a husband, i don't think damiirka xita inu kusiin lahaa inaad saa ku daawato xaaskaaga while ey isku dhex yaaceeso from left to right..lol Even caafimaad wise is not good for her lets be real. Besides, i don't think any women wants to have a conversation with her kasband saying; Ma Numcaan baan guursaday mise Qalanjo

[Juxa]

no fat-clause should be applicable to both partners. women alone should not be expected to maintain good appearances.

 

i do agree with WOL. healthy life style is good for woman, as carrying extra 40 kilos can never be good for a mother and a child.

 

however we must investigate the reason many, many somali ladies gain weight after marriage.

 

in my opinion, it is disappointment, women look forward to marriage all their life, with high hopes. then one day they wake up to find a farax who probably wont amount to much next to them. women are responsible to care for the kids, and hold the home together. they are forced to claim ceyr (which is depressing) and deny they are even married (boyfriend baa dhalay caruurta), whilst isagu fariisto maqaaxi, ciridkiisa soo leyriyo and comes home to make ridicilous demands when he brings nothing to the marriage.

 

if that is not cause to reach for the hagen daz, cheesecake and scuff the donuts down faster than you can say boqol dollar soodir, i dont know what it is.

 

to add insult to injury, he dares to complain. afarta ilkood baan ka jabin and demand divorce on the spot if he dares to comment on my baruur.

 

ps: i admit not all men are like that, marka ladies (raaliyoyinka) dont throw your dacas at me.

[chubacka]

^ haha @ disappointment.

 

Men also tend to gain weight after they are married but for many reasons they find it easier to drop the pounds in the long run.

 

I think these agreemtments (i dnt think they are widespread) are just a waste of time, realistically, will the man divorce the woman because she put on some weight?

 

I think not.

 

She is still the same person and people change all the time. She is still the woman he married, and if he really is disturbed if she puts on weight after marriage, then he should be proactive and help her lose it and tone up himself.

 

It jst seems a hurtful and unproductive thing to think about BEFORE you have even married the woman.

[-Lily-]

Nothing wrong with trying to stay attractive for each other, I think it is realistic and commendable. I dont think it is hurtful at all, it is always great to be honest with each other, if you married a fit Farax with excellent personal hygiene you would expect him to maintain that as long as possible.

 

Juxa loool@dissapointment , so how is getting unattractive helpful to her situation? That sounds like one more thing to be depressed about.

 

p.s. it cant be easy to be a man!

[Che -Guevara]

Qoftaan Chocolate & Honey layiraahdo anteenna utagaan umaleyhaa.

[The_Siren]

Adam-LOL As delicous I'm sure our darling Chocolate Honey is the truth is I don't particularly care for Chocolate or honey. Now had she been a saxnii full of baris and wonderfully cooked Helib Geel? I'd glady devour her, burp, scratch my near to bursting belly and fall into a dreamy diabetic coma. But alas t'was not to be.

 

*Grabs Adam by the scruff of his shirt and force feeds chocolate-honeys right hand into his mouth nearly soffocating him in the process* It would be rude and un-Somali of me not to share my feast my friend ...You know what they say? Share and share alike.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

What was that old Somali saying: "Deriskaa cadaan iyo madow wixii ka aheen waa kaa dhigaa". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It SO damn true.

 

Having said that, Somalis have a defective (fat) gene that goes bonkers after 30 years or so. Unlucky some, it goes wrong before that.

[Salma]

I guess whatever clauses any couples would make should be in mutual understanding and respect. Whatever they agree on can be understood as long as they r both believing in it. Away from the weight, I know a guy who used to convince his wife by all means (unbelievable methods) not to cut her long black hair or change its color, coz he considers it as one of his treasures though she hated both the lenght and the black color. So, again as long as no one is being emotionally abused or hurt, I guess it's ok.

 

To admit, the society is so unfair and puts tremendous pressure on women appearance. Recently, I watched a special episode on Oprah, that in Mauritania women are overfed by their families since their childhood to make them fat as the mauritanian men love the heavy women. And I say, who the hell decides the women size across the globe but the brainless men.

 

P.S: Skinny, normal, chubby or heavy: Let the women take their decisions about their bodies.

[Salma]

I guess whatever clauses any couples would make should be in mutual understanding and respect. Whatever they agree on can be understood as long as they r both believing in it. Away from the weight, I know a guy who used to convince his wife by all means (unbelievable methods) not to cut her long black hair or change its color, coz he considers it as one of his treasures though she hated both the lenght and the black color. So, again as long as no one is being emotionally abused or hurt, I guess it's ok.

 

To admit, the society is so unfair and puts tremendous pressure on women appearance. Recently, I watched a special episode on Oprah, that in Mauritania women are overfed by their families since their childhood to make them fat as the mauritanian men love the heavy women. And I say, who the hell decides the women size across the globe but the brainless men.

 

P.S: Skinny, normal, chubby or heavy: Let the women take their decisions about their bodies.

[Fabregas]

blame it on the great Somali diet which consists of cabohydrates, high salt and higher sugar foods. Brothers should put treadmills in their kitchens and tell their women to cook healthier food.