Chocolate and Honey Posted February 12, 2009 I would say, It's qutie scandalous to do so even with one guy. :rolleyes: Like I said, I'm very interested in what people do nowdays than what we "should" or ought to do Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted February 12, 2009 It's scandelous when you're 15 not 25, the courting part that is, no comment on the 'other' stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 12, 2009 LOOL @ this topic going in all sorts of directions. C&H, I will give you an example where it is okay for you to be with more than one. ***hmmm thinking hard over here*** Okay on Monday you met a nice guy, but for all you know he could be evil, on Tuesday you run into a guy you met at an event a while back and you give them your number, and then on Wednesday your friend introduces you to someone and you all arrange to go out the week after, on Thursday on your way to work, the guy on the floor above yours asks you to lunch and on Friday evening you already had plans to go out with your old school friend who has moved back into the area and he is now a hunk. On Sat you go to your cousins house and her edo was there with her son and they abandon you two together, before you know it you've been left in a room with him to apparently have a private conversation. NOW is that scandalous?? None of these are dates, so I don’t think they are providing you was already single, but once she meets all these guys then she must pick one and keep the rest in the freezer. P.s. Many guys are kept on freeze mode, they just don’t know, waa back up, sitting in a virtual waiting room for months without even knowing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashkiro Posted February 12, 2009 ^LOL Walaal Chocolate, it's nice that you are interested in what ppl do now days and not “what they should do”, personally I am not interested in neither, just in case I am may have come across that way. Every being is free to choose their own path as they see fit, I was simply replying to your comment. It is my perspective, that it is not the number of guys that makes one “scandalous” but the actions that one engages in. You are free to disagree. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted February 12, 2009 None of these are dates, so I don’t think they are providing you was already single, but once she meets all these guys then she must pick one and keep the rest in the freezer. @ freezer. Ok, Ibti I see where you’re going with this. However, the “kun la hadal, kow kala bax” theory doesn’t apply here because you’re not in anyway courting any of them. You’re barely on first name basis. Should we apply the theory, this is how it will all play out: B]you will keep talking and getting to know all the guys you’ve mentioned above until marriage is discussed and then, you’ll make a selection about who will make it to the final round![/b] I personally know girls who were “talking” to different guys or were in a multiple relationships until their wedding night. Matter of fact, this one girl I know had the audacity to ask one of the suitors to help her pick out her dinning room set and this poor lad thought it was for her sister rather her and her future husband. And you know what she told me when I asked if she felt like she was being dishonest? She said “ should her husband-to-be decided to leave or didn’t deliver, she wouldn’t care too much because she still has “other” prospects and after all why shouldn’t she because she is not married yet!” :eek: So this kind of thinking is what the theory promotes. In addition, how can you invest emotionally and develop trust if you’ve considering many, many applicants whether they’re in the freezer or not? :confused: It would feel impersonal, I’d imagine. Ashkiro, Every being is free to choose their own path as they see fit, I was simply replying to your comment. It is my perspective, that it is not the number of guys that makes one “scandalous” but the actions that one engages in. You are free to disagree. I agree on the point of personal freedom. But in actual reality, most youngsters engage in most of the actions I’ve mentioned in my post. But even those who don’t, there is something to be said about a girl who is courting a number of men at once. Imagine having 10 or 20 different guys calling and demanding your attention. Even if it is just conversations over the phone, it just doesn’t sound or feel right. I would feel like I’m deceiving or misleading some of them . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted February 13, 2009 Originally posted by *Ibtisam*: P.s. Many guys are kept on freeze mode, they just don’t know, waa back up, sitting in a virtual waiting room for months without even knowing xaraam Caleiki, woman. You didn't have to fashil the womenfolk like that! So how many do you currently have on the 'freeze mode' bal ii sheeg? Functioning within the Islamic legal bounds does give one a room to manoeuvre. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted February 13, 2009 Functioning within the Islamic legal bounds does give one a room to manoeuvre. I fully agree.But, once you make that selection. You have to stick with it, unless he doesn't meet your expectation at some point. In which you inform him before you proceed with your other applications.... lol ibti ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dhimbil Posted February 13, 2009 wow who knew about freezers? wonder why it felt so cold.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 13, 2009 ^^^LOOOL, you are welcome, delete her number. I mean the cheek of it, making you sit out in the cold Haneefa, because I feel sorry for some brothers, I always tell them, "hey, my friend, she is keeping you in the waiting room, jump out of the window" Xaraam Caleiki, I don't keep any, no one should worry about someone passing them by while they were busy or not looking, after all wiix lagu qoorey kuu daaf mayan. Why should Allah bless you or your marriage if you started off in the wrong foot with dishonesty, lies, sin iyo multiple considerations. Even if the kuun theory was acceptable to our morals, it is against Islam and would still be a sin. But I noticed a worrying trend with so called western brothers, when they are told “I am busy” or “I’m already consider someone else”, they have the audacity to respond “but waa caadii you are not married to him yet” even if you say “I am married”, they will say “don’t worry we’ll get you your papers” :eek: Are these guys for real :eek: Muujiiso. I worry for these new kids you know. @ Chocolate Sis that is beyond evil, if I was you when uu sheegi laah the poor sucker she is going to marry. But any what goes around comes around. I really think that is why Allah punishes them with all sorts of tests; cheating husbands, 2nd wife, bad father, separation, violence iyo so many other problems [don't get me wrong, some people are tested with that anyway]. But in many cases it is because the core foundation is so corrupt, had they put their trust in Allah SWT and asked him for guidance, instead of playing superwomen and trying to survey 50guys to pick from- in the process cheating, lying and sneaking around, she would've avoided half the problems. It does not matter how hard you search, how deep you dig and how far you go, you will never know or be able to pick the best. So maaxaad iisu waarerin ask Allah and be content with the responses, what you think is best for you is not always so. Jumca Mubarak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ducaysane Posted February 13, 2009 C&H posted: holding hands, kissing, hugging. I KNOW and You know it happens. You do all that eat your hearts out for all keep your hands to yourself Araweelos. :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GlassEyeGirl Posted February 13, 2009 Originally posted by *Ibtisam*: None of these are dates, so I don’t think they are providing you was already single, but once she meets all these guys then she must pick one and keep the rest in the freezer. P.s. Many guys are kept on freeze mode, they just don’t know, waa back up, sitting in a virtual waiting room for months without even knowing You are right, none of those are real dates. But if she decides to get to know, 1,2, or 3 of these guys at the sametime (with no touchy/feely stuff involved) so she can find out which one she likes the best, what is the harm in that? Granted, you let them all know that you are seeing other people. If they are not comfortable with the situation, they can leave...but atlease you were up front and honest with them. Btw...these guys we are feeling so sorry for might have many girls on freeze as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 13, 2009 ^^It is impossbile to get to know 2 or 3 of them at once. You are going to be on the phone all the time. :eek: So you finish work, and get home, do your stuff. Guy number 1 calls you at 8pm, by the time you get ride of him it is bed time. Unless you by this time decide to cut him loose, chances are 2morrow he'll be hooked and ringing again and if you don't answer or he is on call waiting for 2hrs he will know you are ignoring him or not interested. I just don't think it is even possible. What will you say, anyway I got to go, farah number two is on the other line Only blonds are kept on ice. Any other hot blood girl knows when there is extra activity going on somewhere else. Some just choose to ignore all the signs and act blind. Of course they deserve to be frozen and kept hanging on. I have no sympathy for those. Women are suppose to know these things, plus it is not like farah’s are so so smart and can hide things like that. I mean he probably calls her wrong names all the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GlassEyeGirl Posted February 13, 2009 ^^Bisinka, the way you put it is like taking on another full time job. You just see them at your leisure. Maxaad dhako faar iskugu rideysaa. And the juggling doesn't have to go on for months; it’s just for little while until you know which one of them you want to be exclusive with. And if Farah #1 finds out you are talking to Farah #2, it’s not cheating since you make it clear at the beginning that you are talking to other people. "Only blonds are kept on ice". I don't think that is entirely true. How about the girls who are in long distance relationships and doesn't know the guy they are supposedly been dating is seeing someone else. Or the ones who are married to truck drivers, and they find out their husband is about to marry another chick next weekend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 13, 2009 ^^^Long distance relation have their own problems altogether, only certain type of people are suited to them. As for truck drivers again that is husbands rather than chatting to different guys. As for leisure, that would mean speaking to them once every 3/4 months or something, how does anyone develop any feelings at this rate. I still don't see how it works. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
