How many of you?

[lol]

Besbaaso/Modesty: Gurls those are alot of conditions.. .wish u all the best...

 

 

Originally posted by Geel-Jire:

Whatever happened to the era where one would settle for Mr or Mrs not so right!

 

Everybody is going about he/she should be (what they should be but not what they are) this and that. How about getting Mr Normal and shaping and moulding him into Mr Fine or Right?

 

I think I would respect a lady that appreciates her man's shortcomings and works with him on overcoming them and eventually end up with fine marriage and happy successful life. After all, life is not what it is, it is what you make of it.

 

So, nomads cut the dreaming and start living the ugly world we are in. A world where a difference is made by the power of one's thought, the intellectual use of time and effort employed.

 

 

Quote: "what u want and who u want changes by the day if not hour!!"

- truely said.

 

And, remember this: simplicity is bliss.

Geeljire: for someone to start working with the shortcomings one must first find that person with the basic qualities one would look for... and then we can deal with the complimentaries as they come... u c... for example.. if I hate.. someone with "balwad"...dat is.. smoking, chewing, drinking etc... I won't marry some guy who does any of that.. because I will be working on his bad habits with him tomorrow... capische? No man its not done like dat.........U gotta accept and live with the habits this person has thru tolerance and compromise....so the goal of this thread was to see if we can find someone who has the qualities dat set the fundamental grounds for later improvements.... but no one is saying... leave ur husbands or wives simply they rn't mr. or ms right.

[Haboon]

Checkmate dear there is nothing wrong with trying to better your self.....life is about aiming for perfection whether that is in religion, relationships, work or in any other field

[Saalixa]

Hibo sis,

You know what i hate. Somali sisters that are needing of a husband yet still refuse the normal, decent considerable guy who can maybe in a few years financially secure her and maybe her whole reer (family).

 

Personally...my destiny and your destiny is determined and made by the almighty. All i have to do is maybe train myself as the socail worker to understand and appreciate this new one of a kind. They say Allah burdens the good person whether male or female to transform and change the bad one for the better. So it is not for us to choose. This is Allahs business and he plays the matching game.

So He (Asa wajala) will say precisly HIBO will marry a sheikh (learned scholor of any kind) and will have 7 children (min ok!) who will insha Allah themselves be one of the learned in Islamic teaching and all Xafida al Quraan.

[checkmate]

^^Subxaanal Laah, Allah ya cizak well said sis.

 

 

Posted by Haboon:

 

Checkmate dear there is nothing wrong with trying to better your self.....life is about aiming for perfection whether that is in religion, relationships, work or in any other field

 

Nacam Wanisf sis, But as an individual one must strive to be the above and more and despite all the efforts one will still have shortcomings regardless for we humans are not perfect. My argument in the earlier post was one can’t be shaped or moiled by one’s partner to fit their criterion of they think Mr./Ms perfect/right is. The same way you have shortcomings they do too. Who are they to do such? To me that’s an insult to one’s being.

 

 

asxantu

[-Serenity-]

Have you noticed how all the guys are looking for women to set them str8 maalmahan?

 

"A strong woman to put me on the right path"

 

"A women to make me a better person"

 

"A women to tolerate my BS and help me better myself"

 

All silly xcuses for being slackers. Half the guys and gals are sissies these days.

[lol]

^^^^ I won't label them as such. They just need Allah's guidance and when its the right time.. He shall set them straight, but guurka is a good way to modify a person. Most of the bad people change after marriage because of the responsibilities that befalls them..

 

Rayanna: U r right sista.. Jazaaka Allah qeyr.. We all know at the back of our minds that only wat Allah wills shall happen, but then we r human and we can't help but plan and search for our heart's desires...

[Final_Say]

hey guys;

 

 

u guys all make me laughin. hhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeh

 

xalimos' no one changes, apart from you, a farah is never gonna change his ways; so if you marry someone hoping that they will change that u are in biiiiiiiig trouble, coz u can't bend a grown tree!!

 

and farahs; never rely on xalimo's, they will change fast then u can blink, never marry a xalimo hoping she will stay the same!! of you are in for a shock!!

 

so basicly dere is not such a thing as MR and Miss right. it is what you make of your broken bended farah/xalimo.

 

my solution; marry a miskiin, den u can be the boss. or marry a boss and u can be the miskiin, coz two boss's will clash and two miskiin's ppl will walk over;

 

peace

[BORN_BRANIAC]

Mine have to be a GOOD MUSLIM....and of course funny in way...that's all..

[Cindrella]

Well ladies we can all have a little bit of dream here and a little bit of dream there.The most imporante thing a lady should look into having her dream man must be.That he is a true believer of the faith.must have moral value of living both of yall lifes.Must love children no matter what.must respect you has a woman.not treat you like a piece of trash.Must at least call you honey,sweetie,sugar pie,etc everyday.That how you know that he is your ideal man that you were chasing after all this time.By the way look's can count sometimes too.

[Jacpher]

Piece of advice my fellow Nomads. Your dreams should be someone with the following.

 

· More taqwa than you think or hope.

· Knows more deen than you expected and actively learning or teaching.

· Practices the knowledge of deen he/she knows to the best of his/her ability.

· Values deen more than dunya.

· Earned the respect and reputation of his parents, siblings & relatives.

· Respects and values your parents & family more than necessary.

· Will lead you to the right path if you happen to miss prayer, fail to pay visit to your relatives.

· Will help you succeed in Dunya & Aakhira to become better Muslim/Muslimah.

· Someone whom you think or hope (because of his deen) will be a better father and responsible waalid for your future children

 

Last but not least someone who wants or willing to memorize the Qur’aan so that he/she can enable your future ciyaal to become xufaad or a sheikh.

 

And if you’re seeking a practicing Muslim/Muslimah, focus on his/her DEEN and AKHLAAQ. Islam emphasize XUNSUL-IKHTIYAAR, (making better choice) more than anything. All the rest are secondary. Don’t waste your time with unnecessary fancy list.

[Legend of Zu]

Originally posted by rayaana:

 

This is Allahs business and he plays the matching game.

^^^ that came out wrong...am sure you will agree with me that Allah doesn't play games

 

As for Ducaqabe

Originally posted by Ducaqabe:

Piece of advice my fellow Nomads. Your dreams should be someone with the following.

^^^ Everyone should think as you do??? You want everyone to think and do as you say? Why? because you are right and everything is black and white..

 

You even called it "advise" while you order everyone how to think??

 

besides in ur list you emphasised how the potential partner should exceed all ur expectations in their taqwa and deeds... :confused: Now who is setting unrealistic expectations??

 

Cheers

[lol]

^^^ Zu, Ishaa ka tuurtay... lol..

 

Ducaqabe: Allah SWT didn't say put all your worldly affairs aside and focus on just worshipping me. He said live your lives and don't forget to thank Me, worship and ask Me Help when u need it. Wat u r suggesting is an ideal person with no flaws and I am sure life dictates otherwise. If deen & Akhlaaq alone was enough to feed the kids am sure it would have fed many people around the world. Deen is part of the characteristics a Muslim spouse should have but its not the only one.

[Jacpher]

Legend of Zu: bro/sis, thanks for correcting me. Alloow aan naloo waayin wax na haga.

 

I didn’t realize I ordered everyone to think like me! I also didn’t realize I said I’m right and everything is black and white. Hadaan ogaan lahaa if my humble words would be perceived this way, dib ayaan u liqi lahaa.

 

My emphasis was how important religon is (to me) when choosing a husband/wife. Our deen encouraged us to marry for the deen, not wealth, looks or nasab for that matter. We hope there’re lots of bro/sis with taqwa and good deeds…..so this should not be unrealistic goal or expectation. Nowadays few of us value or judge people for their piety and deen. When did the word “should†become “order†Subxaanalaah, I have no power over anyone. This was just a humble advice and if you don’t like it, let me know I will take it out. Barasho ka hor yaan la is nicin.

 

Hibo: Walaal thanks for repling. You raised a good point.

 

You’re right, Allah SWT didn’t say forget your dunya but He warned us from its temptations. It’s good idea that deen is the foundation of the marriage. If you read my list again, I included that someone who will help you succeed in Dunya as well as Akhira. Deen and Akhlaaq will not only help you become good Muslim but also will earn you rewards in hereafter. If we have taqwa, Allah will make things easy for us. There’s a hadith which indicates that deen & akhlaaq are the must-have attributions for someone seeking marriage. Having BS in engineering or doctorial degree are secondary.