I'm shocked by what our somali men do!!!

[7_steps_2_Heaven]

thank u all, I agree with some of ya'll but still

we can't pretend that this is not happening 2 our sisters anyways wixii qoran lama gafaayo but the reality is that our men r changing just like the weather. The case is not that the wife cant satisfy her husband ee nimanki baa iimaanki ka tagay, nimanoow taako bal isku qabta 4 da sake of our generation

 

Last but not least, My bro Zakariya, aboowgiis dagaal aan nimanka ku soo qaaday ma aha ee wax aan ka calool xumaaday aan idiin soo gudbinaayay.

su'aashaada oo eheed hibo nuura maa la dhashtay- maya gacalka laakiin ani iyo hibo waxaan noqon doonnaa kuwi wax ka badala dhaqan yaasha xun. lol

[LuCkY]

Been on the sideLInes for sometime now-interesting responses.

 

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY BEE:

Solution? For the love of God, DON'T ALLOW YOUR HUSBANDS TO GO BACK TO SOMALIA ALONE!! Either accompany him or accompany him.

Whatever happened to trust?LoyaLty?

[SomeAlien]

Originally posted by rudy:

there we go again! xalimos cutting farahs like piece of cake! ladies, if u r good, believe me no farah will leave u...but yall seem to forget lil farah and become western ideology consumers. buying this and that every weekened...gossiping at starbucks like u aint no responsibilities. so dont be surprise when farah makes a u-turn and gets the new spankying xalimo while u left holding the bag!! seen this so many time! and i go.....u know it was coming why all the drama now...!

youre description of somali women sounds alot like the married fathers that live in my neighbourhood. cut the bs, when it comes to responsibilities somali women got their buisness on lock. unfortunately its not as easy for women as it is for men to "make a u turn" when theyre husbands arent doing theyre job.

 

 

about the marrying another woman thing, maybe he marries the second woman to avoid committing a sin. i think marrying another woman because hes lonely is better than just sexing a woman cause hes lonely, its more respectful to everybody involved. of course if hes planning this in advance, or is unhappy wiht our relationship and doesnt tell me, id be damn near out that door. i need some time to digest it and be prepared for some changes.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

It takes two to create a great Nest….It takes two to be happy….It takes two to ride the waves of sadness, disappointments and ofcouse Happiness….It takes two to bring great kids to this world and to raise them and most of all it takes two to be utterly and absolutely in love..

 

All I see is people pointing fingers and thinking its only men’s fault that marriages break. Believe it or not no sane man can walk away from a true angel....Now men marrying more women doesn’t say much for our women either…Surely its not only because of lust but because they are not happy.

 

Stats suggest that there are far too few good men available compared to the women. So why not pass the love around.

 

Men, you have to stand up and be confident. It will show through before you even speak! When you do speak, speak your mind. It will gain respect! You cannot suppress yourself! However, ladies… if you want a REAL man, you have to trust him enough to be just that. If he loves you, he will not become your worst fear, and suppress you. He will honor the vows he took and cherish you. Then, you have to return that with honor as well.

 

After that… you still have one duty left. You have to teach that same thing to your children. That is the only way to break the nasty chain that we see a lot of young people adapting...growing to hate.

[nuune]

waxaan la yaabanahay why everyone who responded to this topic agrees what the other person said

 

 

i agree with you

yes i agree with

of course i agree with you

i wouldn't say better than that

that is what i was going to say

damn it,that is right

 

 

man,what happened to everyone's own opinion,or maybe it is ramadan,i don't know,the flavor is lost here,pecae,ramadaan kariim

[Changed]

^^^ ........nuune i definately agree with u

 

i think its personal choice , if the women lets her husband go to another country to work and she does not ask him if she could join him , then i blame the women, WHY say men do this men do that when we are all equal partners in this CRIME ..50% OUR fault 50% their fualt.. and why wine about it men are allowed to have four wives if u aint happy with him marrying another Xaliimo leave ..someone said earlier the choices are limited ..LIve with it Or Leave it ..ur pick

[Faheema.]

This is a sad and disappointing issue that is growing in our community more so than ever before and there would be no gain in pointing the finger because as far as I am concerned they are both to blame.

Whatever happened to family values, morals, trust, loyalty, respect and you fulfilling your rights of companionship and him fulfilling the main and important obligations that are due upon him?

I say there is lack of harmony between the Somali husband and his wife these days. Period.!!!

 

Ramadan Kariim

[Valenteenah.]

Qac Qaac,

 

barwaaqo when u say, for some of us it never gets old, do u really think, u so educated when u take the ideas from the west, and reject your husbands rights.

Hmmm...would it make a difference if I was in Somalia and I still rejected my husband's rights?

 

LoL...I'm just messin wit u dear. When I said 'it will never get old', I wasn't refering to education or rejecting any rights. I was talking about your unceasing facsination with blaming every frigging thing under the sun on Somali women and the West. Such cliched nonesense...

 

so remember u guys are educated, smart and beautiful, who grew up in western countries, u guys should now all, should even know more than the girls in somalia, coz u guys in western countries, could use computers, and cell phones, and drive cars, IS THAT, why u guys think, u guys are better?

Ka daroo dibi dhal! Where did this come from, eh? Who on earth compared girls here with girls back home? And worse, found them lacking? I hope you don't think I was doing that in my previous post.

 

If I should clarify my 'Don't let ur husband go back to Somalia alone" advice to the sistas, I was talking about the Somali obsession with leaving Somalia and coming to Europe or the US...and how valued and in demand men who live in the West are back home (whether they are married or not). So, in order not to put your marriage at risk by competing with these (probably superior) girls, you should accompany your husband rather than letting him loose into such an environment. Plus you should also make sure to take with you a sturdy stick to beat the damn pegieons off with. That's all QQ...

 

Anyway...I get the feeling that you have a real problem with this particular issue...markaa waan iskakaa deynayaa.

 

 

Lets face the facts though ladies...the majority of us females are nagging b!tches( no offence intended, i'm included in this)

 

Lucky...

 

Who knows?

 

Shaqsii

 

Classy answer.

[rudy-Diiriye]

gee! u mean i can get hooked in africa! well lemme get the hick outta here! xalimos tripping too hard and get fresh, home grown stuff!!!

 

aight how many farahs wanna go for x-mass vacations to nomadland, rise your hand if u jigy with this!

[Changed]

Anyway...I get the feeling that you have a real problem with this particular issue...markaa waan iskakaa deynayaa

hahahahhaah hahahaha i find this particular phrase funny as hell .............looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool......

[codetalker]

What's so shocking about it? Maybe "heblaayo" is okay with her husband marrying a second wife. A far maybe but nonetheless a "maybe."

[LuCkY]

Heres a simpLe soLution to your diLemmas:Leave him!!!If you cant Trust him,Leave him.There is no point in wasting your time with someone who is not going to be RespectfuL FaithfuL,Devoted to you.Marriage is not something to be taken LightLy it takes a Lot work and compromising,committment,patience-wiLLingness-being friends;you cant be friends with someone that you cant trust Let aLone share a Life with which maybe a LifeLong committment-<---If You Cant Take the Heat Leave the Kitchen.

 

Quit pointing fingers;Take ResponsibiLity-Ur Actions Have Consequences. Whether its the mans fauLt or the woman---they had better find a way to deaL with it.You cant aLways runaway from your probLems-work it out.GOing to SomaLIa or any other country for that matter Does Not open grounds for the man to go and marry another Lady.If he has probLems with his wife he needs to find a way to soLve it-a Duh!!! :rolleyes: Thats why its caLLed marriage!Its not Like a car where you 'purchase' it and test it out for a few months/years and when its starts to wear down you get rid of it and get yourseLf a brand new one or one that functions better.

 

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY SHAQSII:

....Now men marrying more women doesn’t say much for our women either…Surely its not only because of lust but because they are not happy.

So what shouLd the women do if its vice-versa?Why cant they divorce the first one if they are not happy instead of going out and getting themseLves more be it one-two-three?And how does another wife(wives)soLve the probLem with the first one?

 

 

Stats suggest that there are far too few good men available compared to the women. So why not pass the love around.

Ok...that point is understood...but put yourseLve in the womens shoes?How wouLd you feeL if you had to share your wife with another dude(s)?

 

I know that isLam permitts a man to have muLtipLe wives and women cant have muLtipLe partners.

 

The Key Here is COMMUNICATION!COMMUNICATION!COMMUNICATON!PeopLe.

[Baashi]

Mansh'Allah @ hablaha qaar...xikmad iyo miyir badanaa.

 

We men can marry up to four qallanjooyin (so tempting heh!) but wait there r strings attached to this right. One can do so if and only if one can meet a set of rigorous standards of performances. These stringent measures include but not limited to: neutrality between them (Time, gifts, money, etc), patience, wealth, and complete knowledge of their rights.

 

I must tell u few men will ever dare to take more than one wife. These are men who can cope with the prospect of turning a loving and lovable wife to a bitter and envious one who is apprehensive of losing affection, status, wealth, etc. Who can blame her since she has to share with all of these to a newcomer. Human nature all the way around, don't u think? Even pious women cannot resist this strong feeling. Blame or not, one's family and sanity hangs on the balance. It shouldn't be that excrusiating to practice what Allah has decreed.

 

As any other Islamic directive there is wisdom and reason behind this. It takes a little bit of miyir and composure to look the other side of the coin.

 

It is troubling to see that our ladies percieve us, Somali men, this way. I'm reffering to the never ending sweeping generalization that paint all Somali men into this lazy, irresponsible, qaat-chewing, public charge, who have disgraced the entire community brush. Stop it fadlan it is not right.

[MZanzi]

Asc

marka hore salaan qali ah iga hano Ckisses topic waa mid aad iyo aad u fiican in laga hadlo waxna laga qabto oo dadkeena baryahaan danbe qaribey waaxan dhihi lahaaba dadka horee loo shegay

lakiin waxaa kuweydiyay zakariye qofkii aa layabtidba aniga maa igu matalee waba yabee :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Che -Guevara]

Bee.....Let me see if i understood right, you are saying that i can take little excursion back home, all alone, and get hooked up with young honey, and still turn around and blame my wife for letting me loose in such enviroment. Coool, get any more pointers....lol...

 

Ladies, Wats wrong having more than one wife, atleast,you will know about your's husband relationships. it is not like da west where da husband has nice wife in sububarn, works late in da city ( mistress), and goes to lot of business trips (Girlfriend)....lol

 

In all seriousness though, These marriages are unhealthy, break up famalies, and wreck all parties. Most of the time , the first wife doesn't even know that her husband got married. That makes it even worse. Personally, i rather have one hopefully happy wife rather than bunch of angry ones.